A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and we are very close and I thought it was time to ask him to move in with me so i did but its only worked the other way, we see less and less of each other since i asked. Is it because he doesnt want to be with me even though he tells me he loves me? I still feel like he is leading me on. Please help, I need advice on how to deal with it all. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Leading you on? Well you can't really say he's leading you on unless he's talked about wanting a future with you. If he hasn't, then its your own expectations that are leading you on, not him.
If you haven't talked about a future together then its understandable that he's stepping back a bit to reassess things. Maybe he'll come around to the idea, maybe he won't.
At the end of the day its kinda like getting into a hot bath. Put a whole leg in instantly and its too much, too soon so you jump back out, but its a different story if you ease your way in slowly. It doesn't necessarily mean he wants out, but you need to back pedal a bit and talk to him about what he's feeling.
A
female
reader, LizBeth  +, writes (10 March 2011):
This is a bit like proposing to someone, then she (or he!) says no and expecting to continue dating. It's hard to take back. The only thing you can do is tell him that you didn't intend to make him uncomfortable and that he can consider the subject dropped. Then drop it. Not much more you can do than that.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (10 March 2011):
 A year isn't that long to move in together really. He's probably just creeped out a bit, some men get spooked by this kind of thing.
The best thing you can do is call him and just explain you didn't mean to spook him and that you felt it was the right thing to do but obviously he doesn't agree etc.
Best wishes xxxx
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