A
male
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anonymous
writes:Hi - I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, however she will not perform oral sex on me. I regularly perform it on her during foreplay, because she enjoys it, just like I do. She has said for the past 18 months on and off that she has had a sore throat, and that is the only reason for not doing it, but I think this is just an excuse. Have you any advice? Thanks in advance!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): She may not like giving oral sex, if that is the case there is not much you can do about it. Or maybe she has never done it and it seems unappealing to her. Talk to her about it. People shouldn't do things they don't like sexually, it's not a good idea overall for a relationship. Would you want someone who hates oral sex to give you that? For a normal person this would be a big turn off.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 You talk to her about it. And not just a "will you give me a bj?" "no, I have a sore throat" -conversation. A full and proper conversation about it! Get to the bottom of this and what impact in has on your sex life.
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female
reader, viccra78  +, writes (21 February 2011):
She is being rather selfish. If you give it to her then she should give it to you...no way around it.
I would let her know how you feel and quite frankly, think about moving on if you are unsatisfied in the bedroom. If you aren't happy now, more than likely you won't be happy later either.
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to make her change if she doesn't want to. Withholding oral frm her will only breed resentment and make a bigger issue. Demanding oral will only make you look like a jerk. All you can do is let her know how it makes you feel and hope she's willing to make a sacrifice and do something she hates to make you happy. If she just can't bring herself to give you oral, then you have to either decide whether she's worth it even without blowjobs, or whether this is something you can't live without and need someone else. She is who she's always been.
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female
reader, LizBeth +, writes (21 February 2011):
You need to talk to her about this when you're not having sex. Be gentle and ask her what it is that she doesn't like about it. If she tries to say that it really was a sore throat for OVER A YEAR, ask her why she hasn't gone to the doctor. No one has a sore throat that long unless they're sick or a smoker. You need to carefully, kindly call her out on that. Find out why she doesn't like it, because it could be any number of reasons. Work together to find a way to make this a more comfortable experience for her.
Also, be prepared to go without it if she can't get past her discomfort. It's not the end of the world, especially if the rest of your sex life is good.
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A
female
reader, AskPru +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Hello, thanks for writing. Yes, it seems terribly unfair when you are making her happy down below and she doesn't appear to want to return the favour. Do not despair. Firstly, you need to be very loving towards her and try to understand why she may not feel comfortable performing oral sex. Remember that a blow job is a much more dramatic affair involving a large organ, physical friction and, ultimately, a liquid explosion! You need to have a lot of confidence to give one. It may simple be that your girlfriend is lacking confidence or possibly she is afraid of the liquid explosion - she may prefer to take her mouth away? My advice is that you and her need to have a heart to heart to understand why she is hesitant. You must ask her to be completely honest and that nothing she will say will hurt you. This is the only way you can resolve things. While she may not feel able to give you a full blow jog straight away, she might be comfortable kissing and licking to start with. You should always encourage her; tell her you love her and appreciate what she is doing. Eventually she may feel able to give you the full works - but you must offer her the choice of withdrawing her mouth at the final moment - as many women prefer not to swallow. I hope you resolve your situation. Good luck! Pru x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Maybe she doesnt like the thought of doing it. I know someone like that
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (21 February 2011):
Have a chat about it and find out why she doesn't do it.
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