I have no friends at all. Do I have social anxiety??
Q. hiya ppl, I realy dont know what to do!!im at college and have absolutily no mates at all. I feel like i should be going out and having fun because im young but find it so hard to make friends. I think i have social anxiety? I am always really wo...
A. 23 March 2006: Just by the way you write, you come across as a really bubbly person, and it sounds like you have taken some steps to trying to make friends... that's a good thing!
Why don't you try and ring one of your schoolfriends up and arrange a catch-up... (read in full...)
What should I do to help her grieve?
Q. I really need people's help with this. My girlfriend's brother took his own life 9 months go and she is still grieving which is understandable. However, I feel that I am not able to help her. I never know what to say, what to do, or how to approach ...
A. 22 March 2006: It is really hard to know what to say to someone who's grieving, especially if you're close to them. A friend of mine lost her brother a few years ago and at the time, what she wanted to do was talk about things he used to do, silly things he'd say ... (read in full...)
I'm about to have a baby, but my husband wants nothing to do with my family.
Q. My family want nothing to do with my husband and he wants nothing to do with them. I am stuck in the middle. The problem is I am 7 mths pregnant with my first child and once the baby is born he doesn't want the baby to go round to my parents ...
A. 14 March 2006: Time for a few home truths for yourself. It seems to me that your feelings have been completely ignored by everyone in their little point-scoring competition.
Speak to your husband, tell him how all this bad feeling is affecting you. How you ... (read in full...)
I planned to propose to him at the Star Trek convention this October in Vegas, while he sat in the Captain's chair... But we split up first and now I'm lost!
Q. My partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me in January and I have been depressed ever since, he has spoken to friends about why weve split but they all tell me different views. Theres no doubt that I love him deeply and would give up ...
A. 9 March 2006: I'm so sorry to read about your situation - it's not a nice one to be in.
I am concerned, reading it though that you seem to be the one making all the sacrifices - changing who you are, the admission that you would give up anything if he asked... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 9 March 2006: Looking at my "score" chart, I am sometimes mystified how this fluctuates dramatically. When "advice" is given and then marked, it would be handy for us to have the feedback from the mark.... (read in full...)
I ruined my body! So scared what my boyfriend will think...
Q. I ruined my body. I have been overwight all my life ever since I was a little girl and I lost 70 pounds by dieting and exercising, but now I'm left with saggy breasts and an awful looking stomach...my private area is even pronounced and looks ...
A. 8 March 2006: Firstly CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have done extremely well in losing that weight, and is in itself something to be really proud of! Are you a member of a gym? If not, you should really consider joining one, and explain to the instructor what you want ... (read in full...)
She keeps me away from her ex who she sees every weekend...
Q. My girlfriend is still good friends with her ex. They suffered a miscarriage when they were together, which is obviously terrible, and it is something they can only talk to each other about, as I (for one) don't know how she felt, or what sh...
A. 6 March 2006: There's no point pressuring her to let you meet him, but if he rings and you happen to pick up the phone, make some small talk whilst she comes to answer, even if it's about the weather, football, etc... Show an interest in what they do on the ... (read in full...)
He doesn't give me oral so should I for him?
Q. I always go down on my partner cos he likes it and enjoys it (i dont). I dont let him cum in my mouth tho because i dont like it. When i ask him to go down on me he wont he makes excuses. Am i right to give to him even tho he dont do the same for ...
A. 6 March 2006: If you feel uncomfortable going down on him, don't do it. And the same for him, if he feels uncomfortable, he shouldn't go down on you, but he will need to remember not to put pressure on you.... (read in full...)
What can I do to sort out prom arrangements and not hurt either of my friends' feelings?
Q. Should I feel guilty? We are having our school prom soon and the other night me and another friend were sorting out limo arrangements to take us there. Out of all our group we were the only 2 making any effort. I was also talking to my best fri...
A. 6 March 2006: Please just read you 4th paragraph fro me again. Here you have a friend that demands having her own way, is rude to your other friends and buggers off the first opportunity she can when a "better" alternative arrives, or someone who, even though ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has never said she loves me!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have been going out for 2 months now. I really love her and have told her many times. Though, she has never once said it back to me, which can get me down sometimes. I would jsut like to hear the three w...
A. 6 March 2006: 2 months really isn't that long! Give her time, and don't force her to say something she doesn't want to/not ready to say.
Just be a lovely boyfriend, if you want to say "I Love You", fair enough, but don't expect a reply - when and if she's re... (read in full...)
I don't want to come off as just being nasty about my ex... but I have to tell someone about how rotten he was to me!
Q. I need some advice. I have had issues in getting over my ex and I have decided that the reason is because I have told no one what happened. I still feel anger and hurt over the way that he treated me and find myself unable to even look at him beca...
A. 6 March 2006: Talk to your best friend and tell her how you feel. That's what she's there for, and I'm sure she's just waiting for you to open up to her, and not going to push you. IF you are worried about coming across as a nasty cow (which I can assure you, ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to want him to leave the workplace where he had his 5-month affair?
Q. My husband confessed to a 5 month affair with a much younger woman. I am trying so hard to forgive and forget but I cannot get it out of my head that he betrayed and lied so much to me. He has been off work on sick leave now for 3 months, since ...
A. 28 February 2006: If he hasn't been able to return to work as a result of this affair, it would make sense for his health if nothing else, that he leaves the company. He's off on sick at the moment, I take it he's fit and healthy otherwise? Why don't you encour... (read in full...)
I feel if I don't succeed in school, others will be disappointed in me! What can I do?
Q. hi people, just wondering if you could help me with this little problem i have. thing is, i've always liked school and have always had lots of friends and found it easy, but recently i've been struggling. because i did well in my sats in yr6 and i'm ...
A. 28 February 2006: It's never too late! I was in set 1 for everything during my GCSEs and was frankly doing absolutely awful in Maths. In my Mocks, the Christmas before my GCSEs I got 7% which was a complete blow to my confidence. I asked to be moved down a set, ... (read in full...)
My friend is drinking and sleeping around way too much. What can I do to save her from this mess?
Q. I work with this girl and I really like her, we were sort of seeing each other for a while but it didnt work out because she didnt want to commit to a relationship. Now I hear she is going out and getting drunk to the point of being sick at le...
A. 28 February 2006: A friend of mine went this way last year. She ended up alienating a lot of people through drink and sleeping with too many of the wrong people (brother's mates, friends' partners, the works) She was completely in denial about this and frankly ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about when I start my period...
Q. My mum is really great and has told me all about sex and periods and everything, but I still cringe when she talks about it to me. I'm worried that when I start my period, I will be too shy to tell my mum about it, and what if I start at school? I...
A. 23 February 2006: This is me 13 years ago! Bless you! Firstly, who to tell. I was exactly the same as you - the thought of telling my mother horrified me, but telling a stranger (like the school nurse) was for some reason, so much easier (maybe because I knew I ... (read in full...)
I hate feeling like I have to compete with my boyfriend's 6-year-old daughter
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He has a 6 year old daughter that I seem to get jealous over. I feel really bad when I start feeling like that, I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of being second in his life, even tho...
A. 23 February 2006: The little girl's is whiney and bratty? They pick up on adult feelings and behaviour, and not wanting to be harsh, but could she be learning this from you and her mother? Children are very sensitivie to adult squables and arguments, and s... (read in full...)
He snores but blames me!!
Q. Okay, my boyfriend snores-most nights-and it makes it impossible to sleep with him every night (although I try). Last night he told me that he was annoyed that I slept on the sofa, that when he woke up I wasn't there. I told him that it is because ...
A. 20 February 2006: Set up a tape recorder record the snores, then next time he's watching tv, bung it on and see how he likes the annoying sound. Be prepared with information regarding snoring (like even one drink can relax your muscles enough to make you snore and ... (read in full...)
Will I ever find someone who loves me for who I am?
Q. Hi, I'm a 21 year old girl who is all around pretty average, but very quirky. Most people think it's funny that I'm a little "out there" (think Phoebe from FRIENDS) but I feel like I'm never going to get a guy to fall deeply in love with me. Not to ...
A. 20 February 2006: Your chances are as good as the next person. Remember you are only 21, and although it happens, not everyone finds true love in their early twenties - I'm still waiting, but keeping optimistic and having fun along the way - so should you!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks she's stupid and that nothing's a problem for me. It's not true!
Q. My girlfriend thinks I'm the smartest person in the world, and she, the most stupid... We have been dating for about 3 years and we are both 19 now. Lately, (more often since she has been away at college) she seems to come up with any and eve...
A. 17 February 2006: Going off to College is really hard for anyone, but sometimes it can knock some young people sideways. Is she enjoying her course, or is she doing something that her family expects of her? It may be an idea to speak to her parents and tell them of ... (read in full...)
I stand up to him...
Q. I stand up to my partner because at times he can be very pompous and superior and a real know it all. He can also be a very quiet and caring man but there is another side to him. He can't handle stress and says I go on too much about things, ...
A. 17 February 2006: He may just not be a "talker". I am one of those and get really frustrated when people try and push me into talking about feelings, and can end up saying hurtful things I don't mean to those I love. Try to back off and let him lull things over... (read in full...)
Long distance has been tough for us, but now she's gone totally quiet!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. Things have been great, we have had tough times, but always get through it. We are both have committed to making it last. The last two weeks it has gone wrong somewhere. Contact ...
A. 17 February 2006: Sorry to be harsh, but if she's blocked your texts, it seems to be her cowardly way of saying it's over. Avoid contacting her, if you feel you want to ring her, call a mate and suggest meeting up and doing something instead. If you want to email ... (read in full...)
My little girl's father picks his ex over me, every time! Is it time to end things?
Q. I'm 22 and I have a baby. I've been the the father for about a year and a half, but only knew him for a couple months before I got pregnant. He's still obsessed with his ex (who sends him naked pics of herself). She does everything she can to ruin ...
A. 6 February 2006: From what you've said, there doesn't seem to be any happiness there to risk. He lies to you, you're constantly watching over your shoulder for this other woman, you're scared of being on your own... Where exactlly is this "happiness" you're ... (read in full...)
Split with my great new guy to try again with my ex... And regretting it!
Q. I really need some help here! My boyfriend and I were together almost three years and we broke up last September. Aged 25 and 26, not living together. He cheated on me (kissed someone else) and then told me he had been having doubts about us ...
A. 2 February 2006: I really feel for you - it's not a great position to be in. You managed to break away from this man once, you can do it again. It may feel like you have failed, but you haven't. You gave someone a second chance which is very noble of you although ... (read in full...)
Does he really love me or did he just say it?
Q. I'm 20 and going into my first relationship and I'm abit apprehensive about it as my b/f lives 500 miles away. We met a few times at partys when I visited my aunt in wales. He said it was love at first sight, I think it was too and we're getting ...
A. 11 January 2006: This sounds very much like my ex-boyfriend, who was frankly a bit OTT. I would put my last penny on the fact that he has had quite a few relationships with "soulmates" who he falls for head over heals with. And more than likely he will have been ... (read in full...)
Our daughter's boyfriend doesn't like me or my husband!
Q. We recently found out my daughters boyfriend of 2 years doesn't like me or my huband. It's hard enough to have a good relationship with someone without the added stress of not liking the parents.We would like to remedy this situation if we can so we ...
A. 11 January 2006: Exactly who told you he doesn't like you? Is this a reliable source or someone with an axe to grind with yourselves, daughter or the said boyfriend? If it is any of the latter, then you need to consider their comments very carefully. Saying it... (read in full...)
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