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Will I ever find someone who loves me for who I am?

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Question - (20 February 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi, I'm a 21 year old girl who is all around pretty average, but very quirky. Most people think it's funny that I'm a little "out there" (think Phoebe from FRIENDS) but I feel like I'm never going to get a guy to fall deeply in love with me. Not to mention I'm scared to get close to people so it's really hard for me to meet guys.

I was just wondering what anyone's opinion on what my chances are at finding a guy to love me for who I am?

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A female reader, kyra +, writes (20 February 2006):

i agree with the first reply, but in my eyes if people dont like u or love u for who you are then they arent worth the time. i think that one day you will be surprised by some one and that they will love you for who you are. just try to keep your head held high and smile at the world things will pick up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006):

In time you will. You have to know what you want, exactly who you want, the qualities you find attractive in somebody. Dont dellude yourself with thinking you are into someone when it could be just an attraction. Get to know someone and they will get to know you.

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A female reader, nicole14 +, writes (20 February 2006):

nicole14 agony auntHi anon.

I used to be in a similar situation to you, but have learnt to work through it. First thing is first, you need to look into the reasons as to WHY you don't want to get close to people. You may not realise it, but this puts an automatic barrier up infromt of you as soon as you meet someone! No matter how funny or quirly you may be! Once you've thought that through, you should find out a problem that will need time in sorting out, and it can only be done ON YOUR OWN!!! Then you need to spend some time making yourself happy! I would advise to write a list of things you want to do! For example, go travelling or visit a certain country, lose or gain weight, you get the point?!? Work through the list and try and make sure you reach all of those goals, again on your own! Whilst you are doing this you will be busy and start to get happy and more confident. Then you won't feel like YOU'RE the reason that you haven't found anyone yet, becuase its not you. It's just simply because the right person hasnt come along! But if you have ambition and hobbies, and do them, then you're more likely to be happy and find someone that is into the same things as you!!! Seriously,it works. Just take some time out of worrying and looking for Mr Right, becuase you have to have fun on your own! Having a man is just a bonus, and sometimes its the worst bonus in the world!!!

Good luck. I'm sure if your anything like Phoebe, your amazing! Just remember that! SMILE

Nicole xx

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A female reader, ladybaby +, writes (20 February 2006):

Your chances are as good as the next person. Remember you are only 21, and although it happens, not everyone finds true love in their early twenties - I'm still waiting, but keeping optimistic and having fun along the way - so should you!

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A female reader, beenthere +, writes (20 February 2006):

i'm sure there are a lot of guys out there who would love you for who you are. i know it's hard if you are scared to get close but you will no doubt meet guys who are interested in you. people meet their life partners at different times of life. i was in a steady relationship for 4 years beginning when i was 17 til i was 21. then, although i had a good short term relationship with someone in between, i didn't get together with my fiance til i was almost 23 even though he knew me since the day i was born! so the guy you're looking for could be right under your nose and you aren't seeing it. otherwise, concentrate on your career, hobbies, etc. i think it's mroe likely that most people find love unexpectedly.

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