| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I always go down on my partner cos he likes it and enjoys it (i dont). I dont let him cum in my mouth tho because i dont like it. When i ask him to go down on me he wont he makes excuses. Am i right to give to him even tho he dont do the same for me? please help Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for helping me with this problem. I will take into account what you all have written.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2006): interestingly enough (well, to me at any rate) I just answered the same question from the other perspective from a girl who couldn't bring herself to go down on her guy. I'll give you essentially the same answer...
sex, like many aspects of a relationship, is about give and take and good sex is about unselfishly giving and *enjoying* the giving. (obviously this needn't apply to *all* kinds of sexual relationships...)
in any sexual relationship, if one person feels unsatisfied because of the other's inhibitions or hang-ups, it's never going to be a fully satisfying relationship and selfishness from either partner can only lead to dissatisfaction...
if you truly love someone, giving them pleasure is going to be YOUR pleasure. anyone simply taking and unwilling to give does NOT love their partner, whatever they may say to the contrary. if he really loves you, he'll be overjoyed to get down there and make you happy. if he won't do it, don't bother 'cutting him off' from his own pleasure, just get rid of him and find a guy who actually does love you...
...............................
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (7 March 2006):
 You should only do what you are comfortable with. Relationships, in the bedroom and out of the bedroom, are about give and take and compromise. Sometimes you may have to sit through a boring movie or go out to his mate's birthday drinks when you would rather be at home and this is all part of compromise but none of these activities should make you feel uncomfortable and in return he should sometimes do what you want to do, even if he thinks it is a little boring or would rather be at home.It is the same in bed, there must be compromise. You need to discuss with him your feelings on the matter and work out a solution that suits both of you. As long as both of you are comfortable, that is the main thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Tell him straight, you are prepared to give him head but if you dont get it back then it will stop forthwith and that is that.
Relationships are give and take and that is in the bedroom department as well.
If you dont like something and it feels uncomfortable then dont do it but dont do it and then allow him to not do something you like.
...............................
A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Hi,
He does appear to have double standards all right. It must be great for him getting but not giving (as obviously both of you don’t particularly enjoy giving, but at least you are doing it). He might just not be into that kind of thing, and plenty of guys just aren’t (same way that plenty of girls just aren’t)
There could be reasons why he isn’t giving though. Make sure you are very clean, preferably fresh out of the shower or bath if possible, and being well trimmed will also improve your chances I think (ie a ‘landing strip’ is more inviting than the African forest). He may just not have a clue how to do it properly, (and avoids sitting the test rather than failing it), and thus he needs educating, so you could tell him exactly how, but if he isn’t even trying then that’s going to be difficult. Maybe try to get him to agree to a 69 instead of him just on the receiving end.
If those ideas don’t help, you probably have a right to stop giving, but that would be a sign that the relationship is going the wrong way, and, dare I say it – is one of those things that points to a break up in the future.
Best of luck
...............................
A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Have you tried asking him why he never goes down on you? Maybe there is some underlying reason he doesn't want to tell you for fear of hurting your feelings - some guys don't like it when there is too much hair down there, etc. If he doesn't give you a straightforward answer, then I think you should consider finding someone who is less selfish and more atune to your needs. There are plenty of guys out there who are willing to return the favor!
...............................
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Stop doing it until he reciprocates.
Simple.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2006): u should let him cum in ur mouth boys find it sexy but tell him you wont give him head if he doesnt repay you. other wise hes the one losing out and feelinG EMBARRESSESD when u dump him and tell every one.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You should only ever do what your comfortable with. Everything goes two ways in relationships. You're putting yourself out for this guy and he's not doing the same back. I should expect that the reason you don't like going down on him is because you don't get it back. You're starting to feel like its a chore not fun or intimate. Its meant to be intimate. If this carries on it could damage your sex drive therefore damaging your sex life and your relationship. I've got a really simple answer to this question, but for it to work you need to stick to your guns, no giving in!! The reason you're not getting it back is because he knows you will still go down on him even if he never does it to you. Men are lazy in bed if they can be, that goes without saying. If they have a chance to just lye there and enjoy it they will. My simple answer is stop going down on him. You're not enjoying it so don't do it. Tell him in a cool, sophisticated manner you've simply lost interest in going down there because you don't get anything in return. Tell him you want to be turned on as well. If you stick to your guns and simply refuse to go down there I'm almost sure he will be on you very quickly, Don't expect him to come round straight away because he won't but if you stick to your guns then he will start giving in order to receive. Then that barrier will have been crossed and hopefully there will be no going back :-)If he doesn't come round and if he gets stroppy about it then he is seriously not worth it. You need to be able to talk about these things in a relationship and all relationships need both people making an effort on ALL levels not just one taking and one giving. When you find yourself in that situation you really need to do something about it. Please DO NOT become complacent because then you will become unhappy! x
...............................
A
female
reader, ladybaby +, writes (6 March 2006):
If you feel uncomfortable going down on him, don't do it. And the same for him, if he feels uncomfortable, he shouldn't go down on you, but he will need to remember not to put pressure on you.
...............................
|
