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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 20 and going into my first relationship and I'm abit apprehensive about it as my b/f lives 500 miles away. We met a few times at partys when I visited my aunt in wales. He said it was love at first sight, I think it was too and we're getting quite serious about each other. After only a week I'm going to stay with him and we even talk about getting married in the future and always tell each other that we love one another. We both have a feeling that things are perfect but I just feel like he said "I love you" too soon. I said it back and I meant it but I just found it strange that he's not the typical guy and he says he'll do whatever I want him to and never sooner or later. Maybe I'm just lucky? We havent had sex and he said he'd love me and stay with me even if he could never have sex with me. He said he cares too much about the person I am. Is he for real? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 I agree, things do seem to be moving very fast. This is the best time of a relationship, when you're just starting out and getting to know each other. Leave all the really serious stuff for later, you don't know what the future will hold!!!
If he is genuine, he seems like a really nice guy but you should be wary. Just take things slow and get to know him better, then you'll be able to make the decision about whether he does mean what he says.
He seems really desperate for the relationship to work but sometimes, forcing things can just push people away. Spend time getting to know each other and make him wait a while before you sleep with him.
Good luck
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 January 2006):
No one here can be the judge or whether or not this guy is for real or not. It wouldn't be right. If you don't know, we won't have any clearer of an idea.
The thing about love is, that, it isn't perfect. Forget how the movies portray it and bla bla, its not perfect. People have this high hope that when 'finally, one day' they will 'fall in love' and all will be 'glorious', but its not. Love takes hard work, and can be sucky at times. Love is about trusting someone, having faith, caring for one another, knowing how to open up and talk to each other, loyalty and most of commitment. Its about knwoing that you care for this perosn so much and are prepared to be with thhem for a long time.
To be in love, you NEED to take the RISK, that means, taking a chance that you will get hurt. Good things in life don't come easy or wihtout risk. Thats why in love, we have to open ourselves up, let us be vunerable, yet also let us be loved. If you don't open yourself up and let yourself be loved, you will never feel it.
So my point is, enless this guy has given you a clear sign nto to trust him, then risk it, you might get hurt, yet there is also the great chance that you won't and that love with oversee this all. Also remember even great relationships suffer bad times, but thats what love is about, sticking by each other through thick and thin, yet thats not to say a guy who abuses you should be accepted!
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (11 January 2006):
 I am speaking here as a guy who would do something like your bf. Indeed I am perfectly prepared to declare feelings for my partner despite never having met my partner and i will walk the walk as well. Dawnest, however, is probably right here that you should be slow and cautious and let things flower.
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female
reader, ladybaby +, writes (11 January 2006):
This sounds very much like my ex-boyfriend, who was frankly a bit OTT. I would put my last penny on the fact that he has had quite a few relationships with "soulmates" who he falls for head over heals with. And more than likely he will have been unfaithful as soon as the honeymoon period is over. At the beginning of a relationship, we do try to be truthful, and to an extent, we are, but we also hide our bad, or annoying habits, and as they start to come to light things will more than likely change.Maybe he is different, but tread carefully, and ask that things are slowed down dramatically until you are 100% certain that these feelings are going to last longer than the Christmas season.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (11 January 2006):
hey! slow down. I know it feels wonderful and yo're on cloud nine but its only been a week. Enjoy the times you spend together and after 6 months you will see a future emerging with deep and meaningful feelings that may turn into real love.But for now explore, get to know each other and dont look beyond tomorrow.
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