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female
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anonymous
writes: hiya ppl,I realy dont know what to do!!im at college and have absolutily no mates at all. I feel like i should be going out and having fun because im young but find it so hard to make friends. I think i have social anxiety? I am always really worried about what people will think of me. when i know someone im not shy at all, or when i first meet people? Its the summer coming up and i want to have a great summer but have absolutily no mates. I've tried getting a new job but havnt made any, i go to the gym but they are all really old, and down my local pub (which i never go to as i have noone to go with) people already have their own friends!!I really am a nice person so i cant understand why i have no mates. All my mates from skool went to differnent things and i have lost contact with all of them.inside im so much fun and want to be young :-(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Hi, I'm in a similar situation.
I moved away from home for uni and got married and lost contact with my old friends which knocked my confidence in making new friends. I signed up on facebook and as a result am friends again with 2 of the people I went school with, we meet up for coffee, or go to the pub, and my confidence has increased to a level that I'm now looking into evening/weekend courses. You may find you're not the only one of your old friends to feel alone, they'll want to have a friend as much as you do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2006): I know what you mean. I have a responsible job dealing with people, I am 52 and have had no friends until recently. I always felt I was not good enough and let little things like what I saw as negative body language influence what I wanted. I have been told I am over sensitive and I think we just have get more selfish. This doesn't mean trading on people but taking their time because YOU need THEM. I was feeling really low a few weeks ago and low and behold, three of them rang me, just when I was thinking how worthless I am. It is OK for me to say don't bother about age, but I guess it is true, or at least a starting point. My daughter who is 20 has lots of friends yet she has depression and can be a real pain at times. Even she has just realised that they actually LIKE her and things are turning around for her too. Just smile, be genuine, warm and try taking the first step. I have also learned that keeping friends is a maintenance job, you have to work at it a bit and not always expect them to make the first move.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2006): hi i have social anxiety, maybe this website will help you like it has helped me.http://www.social-anxiety-community.orggood luck jen
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (23 March 2006):
 Yeah I agree with what ladybaby has written you don't need to worry about age. My friends range from 16 - 40 and I'm 19! I have to admit I find older people easier to chat. I have a small group of 'friends' or aquantancies that I can go to for company but I only have one real friend. You'll probably find it's the same with most people.
You should definatly keep trying to build bridges with people do you have contact details for your old friends, if so get in contact with them, what do you have to loose? Do you have the internet at home, if so you can chat on there to the whole world. I know its not the real thing and companionship is important but it will give you ways to fill your evenings.
You've already tried some things, but they didn't really work.. Well don't stop there.. Keep going there's a lot more to explore. You should think of one thing that you have always wanted to do and do it, start getting the ball rolling, along the way you will meet people that are doing the same thing. You can do volunteer work, that way you'll meet people.
Have you thought about joining a theatre group. Thats a sure fire to help you in more ways than one. If you stick to it you will progress slowly in confidence and as the people you are working with see you grow, they will know how hard you've worked, they grow respect and you will make friends. Whatever happens do not give up, keep trying, you do not know what is around the corner!!!
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A
female
reader, ladybaby +, writes (23 March 2006):
Just by the way you write, you come across as a really bubbly person, and it sounds like you have taken some steps to trying to make friends... that's a good thing!
Why don't you try and ring one of your schoolfriends up and arrange a catch-up, or organise a mini-reunion for a group of you? You might find that you all still get along and make more of an effort to keep in touch.
Also, this sound corny, but... join a club or get a hobby. Look at something slightly off the wall, which would attract young people, there are so many wierd and wonderful classes popping up at the moment - try one! Or even volunteer for a charity or a project. Don't worry about age, my group of friends range between 17 upto 42 (I'm 25) and I have a laugh with them all, anyway, the older people may have children your age who you could strike a friendship with!
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