| A
male
,
*ostinlove
writes: My partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me in January and I have been depressed ever since, he has spoken to friends about why weve split but they all tell me different views. Theres no doubt that I love him deeply and would give up everything for him but he doesnt seem to see it. All the time weve been topgether I have tried to do everything I can for him. We were so close and yet things have drifted apart between us and I want him to know I still love him as much as I did when we first got together. I know Im far from perfect, there were a lot of habits I had which I didnt change while we were together but I no longer have them now, I have changed and he has even said Ive changed but he feels insulted that I didnt change until we broke up and he says that more insulting than not changing at all. Also after reflecting I realised that in the beginning used to go out to places and do stuff together on the spur of the moment but when he went to uni and I returned to work we stopped going out etc and started to drift apart. I look at pictures of us and they hurt me so much because I remember how we were, when we were together I couldnt see what was happening but now I see how little I actually did to keep the flame burning once we started having to deal with extra responsibilities. On 18th March it will be the aniversarry of the time I proposed to him at Stone henge (not very romantic I know but I had been thinking about it and decided there and then when I looked into his eyes that I wanted to ask - he said yes) When I decided to do it more romantically I had spoken to a friend of his late last year about proposing to him this October, hes an avid Star Trek fan so I was going to propose to him whilst we were at the Star Trek experience in Las Vegas, I was going to get down on one knee whilst he was sat in the Captains chair on the bridge and also get the photographer to take a picture of the moment so that we could treasure it I knew this would mean more to him and had hoped he would have said yes. I love him so much and where as before this happened we could see a whole future together with kids, a nice house holidays etc now I cant even see next week, Im starting to scare myself with some of the thoughts Im having especially now he talks about moving abroad, I dont know what to do, I love him so much and dont want to lose him-hes my one true love but I know he needs his own space. I dont know what to do.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lostinlove +, writes (16 June 2006):
lostinlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi people, just want to thank you for your advice, it has helped me a lot to move on. He has found someone else and they have been together for just over a week now, they seem to love each other a lot although he doesnt want me to meet him yet (not sure if or when I will). His family are all supporting me as well (my family dont live close). He has told me that he wont say we will never get back together (he said he would never get back with his prev ex so I know he isnt just saying it) but not to think that he would break up with his new guy for me. Im very confused because he knew this guy since february and in may he was telling me that he had been having thoughts about us getting back together, what does it mean?
A
female
reader, ladybaby +, writes (9 March 2006):
I'm so sorry to read about your situation - it's not a nice one to be in.
I am concerned, reading it though that you seem to be the one making all the sacrifices - changing who you are, the admission that you would give up anything if he asked you... it doesn't sound like a very productive relationship.
this may be a horrible realisation, but it may be a good thing this relationship has come to an end - you are obviously someone with a good heart and you deserve someone who will appreciate you and love you for who you are, not who you could be.
It is going to be hard, just starting to get over him - but remember, cry if you want to cry, scream if you want to scream, listen to those sad love songs, watch those blubby films, but do it with a friend by your side. Eventually you will start to feel better and will even start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
In a couple of months come back and let us know how you're doing.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): Have u tried talking to your ex and telling him how you feel? if not then i think even though he needs his space maybe you should write him a letter or an email or something and send it to him that way your not in his face as much. I know it may be hard to accept but maybe your ex just fell out of love suddenly, it happens. If this has happened then you have no other choice but to accept his decision and move on. Also u shouldn't have to change the way you are for anyone i'm sure u would not have tried to change your partner so it's not fair he tried to change you. One of the best things about a reltionship is being able to feel comfy and sexy with that person and to be yourself, both of you. Maybe your partner is not ready for commitment and need stime to think about all this. If he loves you that much he will come back to you without a doubt. Maybe u need some time apart to prove how much u 2 love each other perhaps he will realise u r the one for him. But until then my advice for u would be don't waste ur time waiting for him although u love him dearly, let him see u can live without him and be strong though it hurts. Don't alow him to see how much he's hurt u. Please try and be strong for both your sakes! Lori xx
...............................
|
