Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): HI So Very Confused,Thanks a lot for your input.. Answering your question.I think he has created bonds with the one he gave in adoption because was his first child. When this first child turned 5, the second child was born. He could not manage the financial stress so he asked his child'mom if the family (child's mom current husband) will be ok adopting him. But I see how he cares about his first child.The second child, he tried to negotiated the CS but it went to court. The mother of the child did provoke a fight between the new fiancee-at that time- of my boyfriend. So they broke up. It was very hard on him that he decided not to have any connection with the mother and the child. Being with me, I asked why he is not trying to see his child. He tried to go with his mom to visit the second child. However, the mother of the child is no allowing him to visit in company of his mom. He does not want to see her alone... for fear of any trick..Anyother input PLEASE! Thanks
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 The follow up tells me a lot…. He has no emotional connection to a child he pays for and has an emotional connection to a child he does not pay for….. that he gave up for adoption.
The fact that he has two kids with two different mothers is not the issue… the issue is that he is inconsistent with his behavior towards his children… either you are a parent (you see them and pay their support) or you are not… WHY is he still involved with a child he gave up parental rights to but NOT involved with the child he still is the parent to?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 April 2012):
 To be honest, he doesn't sound like a guy I would want children with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): Simple answer is no experience has learned me alot find a guy who has no baggage or if he has make sure he provides for the children he already has
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): No I wouldn't trust him. First off I have no time for people who bring a child into the world and don't both pay for them financially and are there for them emotionally too.
It seems he made a trade off OP, pay for one and bond with the other and that's not right. OP he cheated on her when she was 1 month pregnant that is low and now he uses their bad blood as a reason he doesn't see that child? That's not a reason and then he pawns off his first child financially too.
Don't have kids with him. He obviously doesn't put them as his priority in life and I'd question his methods of safe sex or his judgement if they were planned too.
The guy takes no responsibility for his kids at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the responses.. to make it more specific.
He takes financial responsibility of the second one (Child Support) however, he does not visit his son at all-no emotional connection.
He does not take financial responsibility of the first one (he gave him on adoption to his son's mother husband).. Yet, he always sees him and take care of him.
any questions or input?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): "Would you give your opinion on a person based on ten words?" and two numbers.
Not enough detail OP. But I would have my misgivings.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 April 2012):
It would depend on a lot more then 2 kids and 2 mothers. Does he take part in the kids lives, does he pay CS, does he work, is he drama free? Does his morals and values match yours? Is he a good man?
You know I could go on and on.
Based on what you wrote, I would say it's entirely possible that you can trust him. Kids or no kids.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. Well, it is quite complex.. Agree with all of you that it is difficult to judge.
1st kid, he sees him often and love him a lot (yet, he agree to give him in adoption to the current husband of his previous wife). This is because he could not finance both kids and for the second one he has to pass child support.
2nd kid, he pass child support but dont see him.. due that the relations with her ex ended very badly (he was dating someone else) while she was 1 month pregnant.
Anyhow, i got very attached to him (very much) yet.. I sometimes doubt if he can be a responsible father if I have children with him
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 April 2012):
what else is going on?
does he not take responsibility for these children?
does he allege he was tricked into getting these women pregnant?
why is his parenting with two different women such a red flag for you?
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 April 2012):
 Would you give your opinion on a person based on ten words?
Could you describe yourself in ten words?
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A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (15 April 2012):
 Based purely on the 2 kids 2 different women criteria, I would trust him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): Why not. Sometimes life turns out differently than we hope, sometimes we believe that we will be with someone for the long haul and it just doesn't work out that way, but children are a result of that relationship. If he takes on his responsibility as father with the 2 kids, then yes I would trust him. Without more information in the question I can't give a specific answer to whether the man in question is to be trusted. Hope this helps
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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: