A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI was in long term relationship (3 yrs) and broke up about a week ago, i still think we broke up.Long story short, he became verbally emotionally abusive for past 1 yr, ignoring me for weeks, not spending any time with me, calling me names if i ever question him. To teach me lesson he blocked in FB. He used to do these kinds all the time and every-time i beg him to unblock me and he does as if he is doing me a favor. This time i just couldn't handle it, being treated like crap. So i stopped calling him and he called me a week back, i didn't pick up. After that nothing from his end and i didn't call or text him either. He might be relieved that i am gone i guess.He took some money from me, i am not sure how to get that back and i bought him expensive stuff like iPhone and laptop. Will i be able to get it back. Was he using me all the time, did he ever love me. I feel all time low as someone was with me cause i buy them stuff. Oh did i tell u, he never bought me anything other than a cheap trinket worth less than $10.I feel lonely and tried and depressed. Please help me
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broke up, cheap, depressed, emotionally abusive, money, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): I have recently got out of a relationship just like yours. The only way to do is to change your number, block his emails and cut all contact. It will hurt for a while, but just stick with it. You will be glad you did.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 December 2014):
 If the Iphone and laptop were GIFTS, the no you can't take them back even if he NEVER spend more the n$10 on you. BUYING those things FOR him was YOUR choice. LEARN from it and NEXT BF, don't give crazy expensive things you really can't afford.
You write that he "took" some money from you, WAS it a loan? Can you actually document it? If not, I don't see how you can get it back. I don't think this dude would WILLINGLY and out of the GOODNESS of his heart give the money back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2014): Sorry to hear that. But from what little you wrote it does sound like he used you. Not only financially. He obviously likes to abuse people. For some reason you misinterpreted the way he treated you as love.
It'll take time.
And don't let him trap you. If you gave him a laptop and a phone as a gift I don't think it's right for you to take it back. However, he should give you back the money he owes you.
I'd start by writing him an email (that way he cannot push the conversation in another directon) saying why you decide to write him an email in the first place and not call him. I'd say that teh relationship has become pure poison (not attacki him directly). Explain why and than I'd ask him to behave liek an adult and give me back moiney he owes me. As simple as that.
But first you must be sure that you do want a clean break-up.
I know that I would. After going through two long verbally and mentally abusive relationships I learned my lesson.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (10 December 2014):
 why did you break up and who initiated the breakup?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2014): I'm so sorry this happened to you.. From how you describe him, it seems as if he never cared about your feelings to begin with and was just using you. Forget him! No one should be treated this way. This was a one way relationship and he didn't even care enough to try harder to contact you. That already says a lot about what kid of person he is.. Why would you want to be with someone like that?! Be with someone who gives you the same amount of love and care. This guy is not worth your time or money. Get your stuff and never look back at him. I know it's hard but this guy will never give you what you want out if the relationshi.
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