A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really need advise for this relationship to come to conclusion..I've met this guy for almost a year when he used to be with his ex, they were having problems during the time we met. We seemed "click" and we're happy when we're together. He went to dinner and it turned out the most beautiful/romantic night ever for us.. It seems like we met each other for very long time and didnt care about anything else when we were together. He gives me strong feeling and i feel safe around him and he could be the one that tell me what i should do in life to take it to the next level. I also accepted the fact that he was still with the girlfriend..They broke up and got back and broke up then got back..There's a time i fed up with it how he kept getting back with her, I started giving up on him and moving on.. Thats when ive met the 2nd guy thru friend. He's such a nice guy and treats girl the way we wanna be treated. Hes understanding and caring type. He shows me hes the man in the family and provide everything to the family and you dont have to worry about. He always takes me to the nices place when we hang out..and of course u will feel like a princess with him.. This guy makes me laugh and i feel really comfortable around him. He makes me feel that I can see the world with him and I dont have to worry about anything.. Both of them have the potential as the real man in a relationship and family. THey're both nice, kind to me and of course they're really protectitve. The 1st guy is a strong guy, hes pretty straight forward whereas the 2nd one is more quiet, observed and he will never talk/tell you when he's angry and he just takes his time when he gets over it... I'm torn between this two and hope someone can help me to make the right decision..
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female
reader, mooh +, writes (29 May 2012):
Guy #2 sounds like a keeper, whilst Guy #1 just doesn't love you as much as you love him (as he can't put his ex behind).
However what if you go for neither? Guy #1 is still not over his ex and even if you speak highly of Guy #2 he's apparently not enough for you as you are tempted by Guy #1 .
Maybe spend some time on your own to decide what you truly want.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2012): I agree with Jmtmj and Cerberus. The nice guy is the better candidate for a BF. But I hope you don't pick the nice guy because you don't really want a nice guy. You still want a bad relationship with a bad guy more than a good relationship with a good guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2012): I would say pick the nice guy if it would work but it wouldn't because you like the excitement and drama of cheating with this other guy and are actually deluded enough to think you could have a future with him.
Does this other guy know what you've been doing with this other guy?
I honestly think you shouldn't bother with the nice guy, you're only going to hurt him. You will get bored of him and you will continue seeing this other dude, so do the new guy a favour and tell him the full story, so he can make his own decision on the matter.
You should find a different guy altogether. Number 2 obviously isn't enough for you as you still can't choose him and number 1 is pretty never going to be with you because you're only his bit on the side.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Hi,
I'll give you my honest opinion by just reading your post. Both of them have great qualities, good potential. I'll recommend the 2nd guy, just because you don't have any problems and you can start a fresh, clean, new, amazing relationship without having anything to worry about and nothing stopping the both of you. The 1st guy, even though you have great chemistry, get along and all, the ex really concerns me, specially when they are still together on and off after all this time. To me, they still have unfinished business and it's best go let them solve whatever they have to do on their own, alone. Obviously, the fact that he's seeing you and cannot end with the ex is a huge red flag? But, this is only my opinion and you are the only one that can make a decision.... I understand you, and know you didnt chose to be in this situation, because you cannot control how you feel, but I hope you can make a decision soon, because it's not fair to be in a threesome relationship and it's not fair for the 2nd guy, either...
Best wishes and good luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 I beg to differ, there's really no choice, on and off with a taken guy is really no choice, is being messed about. Guy no. 1 may have the potential to be the real man in a relationship and family, ( I doubt it, once a cheater... ) but he will give all that not to you , but to his gf to whom he kept going back.
Guy no. 2 sounds like a much better option, the only problem is that, if you even have to wonder between "on and off, fickle and unreliable " and " nice, sincere and reliable " it means you actually do not care much for Guy no. 2 and for some reason he'd be a default option, a sort of a rebound.
Since no doctor prescribed you to make a choice or else,... why simply not waiting for guy no. 3 , someone who hopefully is both serious about you and strongly attractive to you ?
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (15 May 2012):
 *sigh*
This is why nice guys finish last.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the dude had a girlfriend when you both had the most beautiful/romantic night ever for BOTH of you...
Seriously..?
This is why I started being a bastard. It works, you never get hurt and you never have to put in any effort.
Sorry. Rant over. Pick the nice guy.
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