A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have recently traveled to a European country to be with my boyfriend of a year and a half. He is both a US citizen as well as a citizen here. He was able to get a research position that will take another 3 or 4 years to finish and asked me to join him. I did not give up too much to come here, but now that my tourist visa is almost expired, going back to the states and leaving him seems silly. Things are good here. I have applied for a visa to stay, but my reasons are not to compelling. I still have a job in the US and have been working remotely, but on paper it seems like they might deny my request for lack of necessity to stay. My boyfriend has made it clear that he would like to keep me around, at any cost... even marriage. I'm not big on committing to anything, so this is a large step for me, even if it is only on paper. Am i crazy for letting some little slip of paper get in the way of being happy and staying with a man i love? pls help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Have you contacted the US Embassy to see if there are other options for you to stay longer without getting hitched?
If not, I would do the 90 days at a time tourist visa, a few times and see how you both feel.
This might help you get some ideas.
http://www.expatica.com/
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Go home and come back in 3 or 6 months on another tourist's visa. Repeat as needed. The extra flight tickets will cost you something, but probably not more than getting a divorce later on, which sounds like a definite possibility when the motivations to get married are so weak and contingent to practical factors only.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Marriage for a visa... not a great idea.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2012): Girl stay! If you love him and he you, what.are you waiting for? He wants to marry you and make you have these awesome feelings for the rest of your life. Go for it!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 May 2012):
 Would you marry him even if that were not necessary for the visa?
If yes, then marrying him and staying with him is the right choice in terms of love (I can't know if it's convenient for you or your career).
If no, then you're better off leaving.
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