My husband physically and emotionally abuses me all the time.
Q. Hi, I need to make this quick because I'm not "allowed" to be on the internet right now. My husband is thirteen years my senior and we've known each other for two and a half years, been together that long, and married for two years. We have a ...
A. 24 October 2008: You need to go to the police. The first sentence in your message just says it all. You need to run from this marriage for both your daughter's safety and your own. The police will protect you and help you get through this, don't be frighte... (read in full...)
He really hurt me 'down there', how can I stop him from doing this again next time?
Q. I really like my new boyfriend, and hes one of the best kissers i've ever been with, but last night when we were together, he started fingering me really hard and rough. It was much too painful to be enjoyable, and today i'm bruised and swollen ...
A. 24 October 2008: This is quite simple, if you want him to be a bit more gentle then you have to tell him - you won't get what you want in and out of bed unless you ask for it.
Just because he's a good kisser doesn't mean he's experienced down there - especial... (read in full...)
What is the point of watching porn during sex?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for four years. Everytime a conversation came up about porn he would say he that he wasnt into it at all, and thay they are all sluts, blah blah blah. Well we are living together now, and sometimes he wants to watc...
A. 24 October 2008: This reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City - Miranda goes out with a guy who can't have sex without watching porn simlultaneously. Predictably, she doesn't stay with him very long :|
Watching Porn can make for interesting foreplay - but du... (read in full...)
I'm so freakin' confused right now. Is this guy for real?! I mean WOW, I don't even know what I'm asking anymore after re-reading this!!
Q. Ok where to start. I met this really great guy, and everyday I learn something new about him. I kind of had an idea in the beginning something wasn't right with him. But you know the old saying you try not to judge the book by its cover. Well he ...
A. 24 October 2008: Hmm... He definately sounds a bit bizarre - I know some guys get a kick out of 'sharing' their girlfriend with other men - but this just sounds a little bit off... Especially the sudden proposal!
Perhaps it's time to stop taking his calls!... (read in full...)
Is there anything that might be stopping him from saying anything to me?
Q. So i really like this guy. and im pretty sure he likes me too! like ultra positive he likes me, he shows all the signs.... he gets red in front of me he shows off. he does things to try to make me notice him. i guess im just being a bitch by not noti...
A. 24 October 2008: He sounds shy and uncertain whether you like him or not - sounds like he's attempting to subtly test the waters. So this one's up to you I'm afraid - you're going to have to grow a pair and talk to him. Just take an interest in him, ask him how ... (read in full...)
I need help in working out what to do when I know these people so well, and when I'm involved.
Q. my two friends have started not getting along at all. one friend (lets call her A) has started going out with B's (my other friend) ex bf. B is with someone else but still winds A up by meeting with A's bf (her ex). i dont want to take sides, but ...
A. 24 October 2008: Drama, drama, drama. In my experience it's best to stay out of these sorts of arguments, no matter who's side you'd prefer to take - it only ends in tears.
In my opinion - both girls are in the wrong. I thought it was the cardinal rule of frien... (read in full...)
How does one 'pretend' to be happy in a marriage where the love has faded?
Q. Looking for tools. I come to the realisation that if my husband and I hadnt got married we wouldve have parted a long time ago. We've made our bed and now have to lie in it. We used to be very passionatly in love, but love isnt enough. Is is ...
A. 24 October 2008: Why do you feel as if you have to 'lie in your bed?' Do you have children? Are you financially dependable? Would leaving be too difficult/too much hassle?
You can't possibly want to stay in a marriage where love has completely vanished... (read in full...)
I kissed a lad after my boyfriend and I argued, I like them both, any ideas?
Q. The other night i was at a party,me and my boyfriend had an argument and he went off, that evening this lad that ive always thought was cute kissed me. And now i cant stop thinking about it. Im so confused and dont know what to do. I love my ...
A. 24 October 2008: Hormones, hormones, hormones. There's no perfect answer to this one, we can't tell you who to pick.
You need to figure out whether you really love your boyfriend - because if you did, you wouldn't have kissed the other guy, whether you'd had a fi... (read in full...)
...but if I move on, I risk being alone forever, and hurting him...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We were planning on getting married and having kids, etc. He is a great guy, and he loves me a lot. I love him to, but I think no more as a friend. He is just too passive. And don't say I should h...
A. 24 October 2008: You need to think of this way. If you stay with this guy you'll be lying not only to him, but to yourself as well. You'll be risking your own happiness for sake of not hurting him - in my circumstances this is a good choice, but not when love's ... (read in full...)
Her parents have grounded her and taken her phone away...
Q. Ok so I'm sure you all have heard this story a billion times, but I never thought it would happen to me. Last night I ordered some pizza to this girl's house that I don't like as a joke, and now my girlfriend tells me her parents said she is ...
A. 24 October 2008: Your parents probably think that you're a bad influence on their daughter - which you can't blame them for, they obviously heard about the pizza incident and well, it wasn't a very nice to do!
The only thing I can suggest is to slowly earn the... (read in full...)
Forbidden feelings...
Q. Hello! Good day readers! I just wanted to ask if why are the teachers forbidden to have a relationship with their students. I admire my previous mathematics teacher. He not only taught me how to solve mathemetical problems but also he taught m...
A. 24 October 2008: Teachers are in a position of trust therefore beginning a relationship with one of their pupils is a breach of that trust and professional ethics. I think it's highly frowned upon, but not criminal (unless underaged sex is involved). I understand ... (read in full...)
Was this an innocent flirt? Or should I follow up on it?
Q. Hi About 4 months ago I ended things with a guy because he just seemed too casual, I'd see him for an evening and then I wouldn't hear anything for a week or two. I really liked him but I couldn't cope with not seing him as often as I wanted.It e...
A. 24 October 2008: I think it was a pretty obvious flirt. However, it sounds to me as if he was just looking for a bit of fun - testing the water to see if you replied and were up for some fun too. You ended the text conversation pretty platonically, so he didn't ... (read in full...)
Help,should I forgive him?
Q. help! my ex boyfriend stole from me 2 times and they where very valuble things to me.the first time i gave him another chance,thn he did it again,so i ended are 8mth relationship changed my number and reported it to the police.its been 2mth now and ...
A. 24 October 2008: He sounds seriously messed up. I'd listen to your family and cut off all contact with him - what he did was completely unforgiveable no matter what he used the money for. Telling you that he wants to take his own life is emotional blackmail - ... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly change? He seemed to be really in to me!
Q. Im currently 19 and 38 weeks pregnant. Me and the babys father are not together, he doesnt want anything to do with the baby. About a month ago, me and a boy (also 19) i have known for about 3 years and met twice before started SMS texting each...
A. 24 October 2008: It sounds to me like he just needs some space. You have a baby so you must understand that for him beginning a relationship with you will be far more complicated than one with a girl who doesn't have a child.
Just give him some time to get his ... (read in full...)
Should I Break Up With Her Before Or After The Holidays??
Q. Sadly, I think I need to break up with my girlfriend. We have been dating over a year and have been close friends for three years prior to that. I love her to death, and she thinks I am the one. Even though I still love her, I feel a break up is ...
A. 24 October 2008: I think you should do it now rather than string her along until January. January is a depressing enough month without adding a break up into the equation.
Breaking up now, before the holidays probably will devastate her, but it'll be far better t... (read in full...)
How can I find a boyfriend?
Q. Ok i am a girl and i have not had a real relationship ever. My sister try to help me find a guy but he liked her so he used me. My things is i feel like i my never find a guy because when i try it ends up blowing up in my face i cry at night now so ...
A. 24 October 2008: Calm down. These things tend to happen when you're constantly worrying and stressing out about them - after all, no one wants to go out with the girl sitting alone, looking sorry for herself.
You need to get out and start joining clubs etc. tha... (read in full...)
We've only been dating for a month and now he is suddenly distant. Do I worry too much ?
Q. he and i have only been seeing each other for a month. i feel a little silly for being so concerned by this; but i have the habit of being a worried girlfriend. apart from me trying to break this habit i would appreciate advice on if maybe my ...
A. 24 October 2008: It sounds like the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over. Welcome to the real part of a relationship! The first month is when everything is very new and exciting and you can't get enough of each other, but there is a time when that has to ... (read in full...)
My wife is so negative with everything I suggest. How can I advice her?
Q. I'm not going to lie, this is long. But for those who read it and offer advice, thank you. :-) My wife usually has a negative outlook on things, usually I am able to provide advice she takes, considers, and most of the time when I tell her everyth...
A. 24 October 2008: This woman sounds like me! Some women are just generally very negative and need to be fed compliments and told time and time again that they're good at what they do, or that they're beautiful when they think they're not. It's an insecurity sort ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend finds me unattractive because of my small boobs and thin body structure...
Q. My boyfriend(for 3 yrs) feels that i am too thin for him and he is not that attracted to me since i have small boobs. It really hurts me when he comments harsh things about my body. He says that i need to become a little fat to carry on with the ...
A. 24 October 2008: If he really loves you then he should accept you for who you are - what has changed in 3 years? Your body size was the same when you first got together, so why is he being this way now?
If you're naturally skinny, then purposely putting on weigh... (read in full...)
What can I do to hurry / postpone my period?
Q. Hi..I have my year 12 formal coming up and im due to have my period that night... is there anything I can do to move my period forward or later? Thanx ...
A. 24 October 2008: If you're period's due then there's not much you can do to stop it or delay it naturally, I'm afraid. Some girls try fasting or putting their bodies through stress - but I really wouldn't advise doing that! Stress and fasting won't make you look ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he is in love with an older woman.
Q. I have a problem and I don't understand what I can do. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and I truly believe that he is my true love. I want to marry him, and spend the rest of my life with him and I've known this every since ...
A. 24 October 2008: I think it's awful that he's putting you in this situation and is being completely ignorant of your feelings. He's being 100% emotionally unfaithful to you.
I understand that you love this guy and that you're heartbroken, but he's being absolute... (read in full...)
How can I make my husband feel more attracted to me?
Q. This has happened thrice to me now. My husband shows interest in having sex before I put our son to bed and later when I go take a shower (I always do b4 having sex) and come back all ready for him, he is already sleeping or is just about to ...
A. 23 October 2008: It doesn't sound like there's someone else in his life - it just sounds like he's tired. Talk to him and tell him how you're feeling - perhaps you'll get a better idea of what's on his mind and how you can overcome this.... (read in full...)
Could holding my breath for 15 seconds affect my unborn baby?
Q. Will it affect my baby if ocasionally I don't breathe for like 15 seconds.... it's during intercourse... I have stopped but I'm almost four months, will my baby be challenged?...
A. 23 October 2008: I don't think this will harm the baby, but then I'm not Doctor so I couldn't say for certain. Intercourse is perfectly fine whilst pregnant, but you might want to check with your doctor if you're concerned about the breathing thing.... (read in full...)
I love her but now she has moved away! What can I do?
Q. hi, i have a friend who i have known since 5 years. i love her to the bottom of my heart. she know i love her. i should not say this but i have always helped her going out of my way. now she's taken me for granted. she' shifted to another country....
A. 23 October 2008: I hate to say it, but it sounds as if she sees you only as a very good friend. I think if you were meant to be together, it would happened by now - it's been 5 years. Keep in touch with her and let her know that you're always there as friend - ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of losing my virginity.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and everything is going so well. It couldn't be going better except for one thing; I'm a virgin and am still scared of losing my virginity. My boyfriend has been so understanding, and we ...
A. 23 October 2008: The pain and the blood are usually pretty minimal - nowhere near having your period or injuring yourself, honestly, you'll probably laugh and say 'that was it?'
I'm a person who's terrified of pain and hates to fail so I understand exactly ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of losing my virginity.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and everything is going so well. It couldn't be going better except for one thing; I'm a virgin and am still scared of losing my virginity. My boyfriend has been so understanding, and we ...
A. 23 October 2008: What specifically are you scared of? Pain? It's really not as bad as it's often hyped up to be.
I think the trick is not to think of it as such a big deal - because it really shouldn't be. You need to just relax, calm down and take it slowly -... (read in full...)
I think I'll let him use me for sex as I like him so much.
Q. I've known this guy now for about a year, we met at a friend's birthday party and I fancied the pants off of him! He told me he liked me too, we ended up kissing, dancing etc.. but we didn't see each other again until June, she had another party and ...
A. 23 October 2008: You'll be risking your reputation, your self respect and your heart if you go through with this. Think carefully about what you'll be getting out of this deal - and the answer is, not a lot.
Don't do it.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he is in love with an older woman.
Q. I have a problem and I don't understand what I can do. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and I truly believe that he is my true love. I want to marry him, and spend the rest of my life with him and I've known this every since ...
A. 23 October 2008: I'm astounded that your boyfriend could possibly think of acting this way when you have a daughter together. I think the way you've acted in the wake of his revelation is amazing considering your feelings for him. It's terrible of him to treat you ... (read in full...)
How can I prove to her that she is the one and only?
Q. Okay me and my girlfriend love each other very very much. And I know for sure that this is true love and not a high school crush. I am currently 14 and my girlfriend is the same age. We have been going out for 6 months. When we first got together ...
A. 23 October 2008: I can only really repeat what Dr. Reality Check said. You're 14, and it's highly unlikely that you'll be marrying this girl someday. Situations and people change, and moreso when you're going through your teens - hormones flying about etc - who ... (read in full...)
I am feeling depressed because I want someone to love me.
Q. I wouldn't say I'm fully co-dependent because I don't have to have a boyfriend 24/7. I know I'm young but I really need help. I'm on depression pills, but I haven't taken them yet today and I just feel pathetic. I don't understand why none of the ...
A. 23 October 2008: They say that you need to learn to love yourself before you have the chance of anyone loving you back - and I think this is true.
Come off the depression tablets, there is no need for someone as young as you to be depressed about this - you've g... (read in full...)
I love him, but hate him also. Is he just playing me?
Q. There's this boy and ever since i was 13 we have been seeing eachother on and off and now i am 16 i have finally decided to end it full stop..we stopped all contact! He then started seeing this other girl, leah, for a few months. i bumped into him ...
A. 23 October 2008: He's playing you. He obviously enjoys having as many girls under his thumb as he can possibly get.
The way to look at is like this... boys, men, guys - whatever the age - like to be in control, or like to think they're in control. By stringin... (read in full...)
Can one person bully you, or is it only when a group gangs up on you?
Q. What is bullying, i'm not sure if i'm being bullied or not. Is it when a group gang up on you, or can it be just one person?...
A. 23 October 2008: "Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying is usually done to coerce others by fear or threat." Says ... (read in full...)
My friends and my boyfriend hate each other.
Q. Hi Guys, I'm in a sort of sticky situation. I love my boyfriend to bits and I love my friends too. But the problem is - they hate eachother. When I first started going out with him, my friends made fun of us and kept on saying nasty things abo...
A. 23 October 2008: From experience this situation isn't a nice one to be in at all. When I met my current boyfriend I was living in a house with four other girls and we spent every minute together - then boom, boyfriend comes along and I'm spending every minute with ... (read in full...)
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