A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This has happened thrice to me now. My husband shows interest in having sex before I put our son to bed and later when I go take a shower (I always do b4 having sex) and come back all ready for him, he is already sleeping or is just about to sleep.Also, he's been working crazy hours for last few months. I'm 5'3" and I've mostly been btw 150-160 lbs for 12 yrs of our marriage and I know he's not fond of my body(except my bre..ts) even before I was pregnant.My son is 4 yrs old now and we do have sex atleast once a week.Another thing is he's never gone down on me ever. I don't feel fulfilled sexually.Should I suspect there's someone else in his life??How do I make him feel attracted to me???P.S.: He loves me a lot and expresses that from time to time. He has qualities of a good husband and is a great father too. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cowboy  +, writes (24 October 2008):
Nothing I guess, just a bit bland.
Why wash away all the pheromones? They're there for a reason.
There's a roaring trade in used underwear on the internet. Do you think that the guys who buy these items pop them straight in the washing machine before 'use'?
The smell and taste are part of the whole experience of going down on a girl, and to take that away makes it less exciting.
A
male
reader, Cowboy +, writes (24 October 2008):
I used to have a girlfriend that insisted on having a shower before sex. We used to start kissing etc, but as soon as things started to hot up, she'd go and have a shower!
She'd come back into the bedroom, but by that time, I'd have lost momentum and stopped feeling horny.
Then she used to get upset because she thought I didn't find her attractive!
Bear in mind that your man is probably tired and his body clock is probably messed up.
I normally tend to prefer sex at night, but I had a job for a while that had unusual hours, and I ended up wanting morning sex (and I am NOT a morning person!)
If you go through this routine of putting the kids to bed, then having a shower, then wanting sex, you'll be putting pressure on him.
Dispense with the shower, you don't need to be scrubbed clean before sex. Try a little spontaneity and try to have sex at different times.
Incidentally, I absolutely LOVE going down on girls, but when I was with the girl I talked about above, I didn't really enjoy it as much because of the showering thing. It's a bit clinical when there is no smell or taste.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): That sounds very selfish of your hubby! Sigh! can't really blame you.That's the way some of the Indian women are brought up.But you have feelings too.Try to explain him when he is relaxed and probably on a weekend.Whats wrong with the smell of Indian cooking anyways.I think its really great.am I missing something here? if you really want someone in your arms does a bath or perfume matter??I would be too busy making love to notice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Thank you for the quick answers.
To Secret Angel:
I've already mentioned to him a couple of times(in last month) that I want to find out how wud it feel if he goes down on me but he has never responded..he just avoids talking about that but he loves me to go down on him and I've been doing that for so many years now.Also, we both prefer if I take shower before having sex because perfume alone can't take away all the smell of indian cooking:) and it also helps me to relax and get in the mood.
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A
female
reader, for_a_reason +, writes (23 October 2008):
 It doesn't sound like there's someone else in his life - it just sounds like he's tired.Talk to him and tell him how you're feeling - perhaps you'll get a better idea of what's on his mind and how you can overcome this.
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