A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:he and i have only been seeing each other for a month. i feel a little silly for being so concerned by this; but i have the habit of being a worried girlfriend. apart from me trying to break this habit i would appreciate advice on if maybe my worries are legitimate...in the first couple of weeks we saw each other more or less every other day. he seemed very eager to see me and i felt the same way. when we couldn't be together i would receive random phone calls and online messages from him.then he became devoted to getting his work done and i suddenly saw and heard much less from him. thus the worry began. he's just so distant now.when the topic is brought up in conversation he tells me that i have nothing to worry about, and when im by his side and looking into his eyes i feel that i can trust what he says. but when im away from him it is very difficult.in the past i have felt this same anxiety over relationships. i have responded by treating the guy to some quality bitterness and sarcasm which eventually drove us into a hole and broke us apart. i dont want to do this here. i want to be comfortable knowing that he is into me, even when he's away from me (which he will be for periods of time in the near future). i want to grow up and be realistic about this.but it's hard. the worry persists.should i trust him?is he simply busy with work and being the social butterfly that he naturally is OR is he fading from that infatuation he initially felt with me?should i continue expressing my doubt or will it just become tiresome for him to hear about? how do i rid myself of the worry?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, for_a_reason  +, writes (24 October 2008):
 It sounds like the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over. Welcome to the real part of a relationship! The first month is when everything is very new and exciting and you can't get enough of each other, but there is a time when that has to end and the real relationship begins.
You have to put your trust in him otherwise the constant questioning and worrying will drive him away. He's probably just very busy with his work and finding it hard to juggle the both of you in his life at the moment.
Just give him a chance to adjust and see what happens. If you can't trust him now then you'll drive yourself crazy when he goes away on business.
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