A
female
age
30-35,
*issc0rc0r
writes:I wouldn't say I'm fully co-dependent because I don't have to have a boyfriend 24/7. I know I'm young but I really need help. I'm on depression pills, but I haven't taken them yet today and I just feel pathetic. I don't understand why none of the guys that I happen to like, likes me back. All my friends and random people will ALWAYS tell me that "oh you can get any boy you want!" But really I can't. and no one understands that. Sure I might have a pretty face...but I still can't get any boy. I'm really lonely. I haven't had a boyfriend since 2007 summer. Ha, I know. I've had dreams the last couple nights, all in a row, about me being in love again. I guess my dreams just made the person up. I'd wake up and cry. I feel pathetic and useless. I have no patience for anything. and I'm not expecting like...the LOVE OF MY LIFE to come at my age. I just want a boyfriend, to love me. Every time I watch a love movie, or read a romance book it hurts me. I always ask myself why can't I have something like that? I just need some help please. I don't know what I should do. :[
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male
reader, solarect  +, writes (21 August 2011):
I feel exactly the same way you feel right now, and I'm also depressed like you, all I can say is that I feel sorry for both of us, and I hope that we find someone to be happy with as soon as possible, good luck (:
A
female
reader, meetjoeblack +, writes (10 February 2011):
Speaking for myself in the position of the initial question asker having others understand and empathize felt better than, dear the sun also rises. The fact is it can be tough. I'm not 16, or 29, but 41. And, one might argue it gets a little more worrisome with age, as my mother pointed out years previously, that if I don't find a husband immediately, I'm not getting any younger. You know what it is frustrating. It is hurtful. And it is tempting to wonder is it me. Like many of you mentioned yourselves, I am attractive and I have friends, but what I don't have is someone to curl up with, to lean on. Its tough, as I said and it's too bad and i don't have any answers even with the greater experience. I wish I did. Its too bad really because I have a beautiful house that I bought all by myself which is very empowering but at the end of the night when my long hair hits the pillow I wish I had someone to share it with. I wish I did, but I don't. It's too bad like one responder noted it has it's advantages but it has its disadvantages too. It'll be over in 60 more years or so anyway so try to make the best of it and enjoy life where I can.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): Im 19... And i realized im to nice to gather up any type of person... I did last year have an amazing girl friend named meeghann , but i thought i was gay and broke up with her , i didint want her to be alone so i set her up with my X friend robbie who brain washed her into a bitch... I loved her with all my heart.... And the ironic part is im not gay, Infact i just dont find sex that great anyway...so in other words im A-sexual... I stopped trying to think i was going to get her back or anyone for that matter , because this whole sickening society seems to only run on sex and money..All i would ever want is to be with someone who would love me for who i am, If i saw exactly what i was saying right now, id find it to imposable to beleive, and even now , even now i know by saying any of this wont matter tomorrow or anyday for that matter, well peice out... and i know how you feel (sorry for the spelling)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): i understand how unhappy feeling unloved can make you feel. i'm 30, a couple of months ago my bf ran off with my best friend. i was and still am devastated. the worst part is i feel so alone and lonely. there's is no one i can talk to. my friends will say "chin up" because of course that makes everything better. i dont know if its a relationship i want, or just a good friend who can hug me through the bad times. but when i go to bed, or even throughout the day, i often wish that i had someone who cared about me, who saw that i was worth something special to them. i know all of this has messed with my self confidence and caused problems for me. i just wish i had someone who i could lean on, someone who knew they could lean on me too.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): real quick , lost my family when i was 7 , started out on myown when I 14 nothing about being that young and having to make your own way in life is good ,,lots of things ,lots of stuff, you have to find your way . but now at 47 , I know I would be thinking never going to get there ,,,, but I did , its is kind of nice to look back and think about all you have over come, you are haunted by your past but that was it your past ... I to am feeling a little down in the dumps tonight , I still have no one to care for me .. but i think everyday ,I will find her or even better she will find me :) chin up ..eye stright oh and dont text and drive .. yeah I had to toss that in oh I did not tell you the end , well I own and operate my own conputer com, but work for the GOV .. its not were you are its were do you want to br ??? buy something with two wheels and ride it like you stole it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): I feel your pain, as i read this, i feel that undescribable sharp pain in my chest. For as long as i can remember i've always wanted someone to love me. I myself am a lover at heart and have so much to give but i just keep finding myself in a position and ask myself; "Why can't i find a person to love? Even if i do will they love me back the same?" Just now i was walking down the streets on a beautiful sunny day and all i feel is this void in my heart. Im optomistic but it just gets hard sometimes. To be more specific what i truly want is someone whom i can spend the rest of my life with, go through all of the hard times and at the end of the day look each other in the eye and say "i will always love you and be with you no matter what"? Sometimes i feel like i'm chasing a fantasy but i cant see how im wrong for wanting something so beautiful. Well im pretty much done on my small rant, and sorry for some of the cheesiness or cliches but thats just how i view things for now. But i will say keep your head up, if we conlcude that we are not worthy of love or that we will NEVER find it, then there is no hope for us.
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female
reader, ManhattanB  +, writes (4 October 2010):
I know exactly what your feeling. Sometimes the grief and depression overwhelms me, friends say I'm being dramatic, I want to scream at them, they have no idea since they all have boyfriends and spend nearly every hour of the day telling them they love him/her and everytime I see that, I want to burst into tears. I ask myself constantly, what about me? Why doesn't anybody love me? Why don't they care? I want, I need somebody to tell me or even show me some kind of affection. And just like you, u can't understand why the boys I Like, don't like me. I'm sick of crying, trying to hold myself together for everyone.
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female
reader, Xx.Michaela.xX  +, writes (12 September 2010):
I'm going to repeat what most others have said here, I know how you feel. I just wish seine would love me for me and not for what I look like. I'm introverted, and recently went through a really bad experience. I was relapsing into depression and cutting my self. Thinking I could talk about it with my bf, I tell him. The next week, I'm single again. This is the second time this has happened for the same reason!
I cry at night because Im so lonely.
I try not to think about it but whenever I see other girls with their boyfriends, I get a physical ache in my chest. Like I just want someone to hug me and say they love me, and mean it.
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male
reader, Andyman135 +, writes (14 December 2009):
Wow...I understand completely. I made an account for this website just to answer because what you said really brought out something from inside. I do not believe I am as depressed as you say you are but I whenever I'm not with friends I can't help but think, "what's really going to happen to me?" I'm only 16 but I think about the future and do not know if I'll ever have someone who actually appreciates me for who I am. Someone who will stay with me because I make them feel good. I just watched a tv series (although it was not romance) and the same as you described happened to me. Now that I think about it...I have had some dreams at night like you have as well...Anyways, just letting you know that there ARE others like you in this world. You are not alone and good luck on your...um... quest. =D
This is kinda strange since I'm a guy and not "supposed" to express my emotions but I feel good about doing this
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female
reader, OChick +, writes (11 December 2008):
Hello. I understand how you feel! I get dumped all the time or the guy that I really want to be with doesn't want me. I have been single for almost 4 years after my ex-fiance broke up with me. I was in such deep depression. I am an average looking girl with a great personality. I dont make enemies and I am the most laid back person...well, there are other laid back people but I am down to earth. I have dated men whom I met through former friends and the guy just doesn't like me back. It's always bad timing like the guy just got out of a relationship. Then, I met another guy whom I liked a lot because he was the most "normal" guy that I have met by far. I am also attracted to him. But, he stopped showing effort to get to know me. I think he's dating someone else. He stopped calling me.So, I try my best to keep busy (take belly dancing, drawing class, go for a walk at the beach, go love on animals at the shelter, library visits, etc.) I cry every now and then and I write in a journal. It sounds cheesy but sometimes, it works. Watch funny movies or action movies. NEVER romance!!! Read a good and intersting book. I hope that this helps. I am in your shoes and just keep having faith. Make sure the guy knows that you are independent and don't show him that you want a boyfriend. Act aloof and that you don't care if he doesn't want to get to know you. Have a lot of confidence...good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): I bet anyone you tell your problems to will say 'I know how you feel' and you know that truthfully they have no idea, but with this one, I honestly do think I know what you're going through. During the last few months, all my best friends have started to couple up with boys that I have introduced them to! As in your situation people have told me many times that I am as good looking or even on occasion prettier than my friends, but even so I still haven't got a boyfriend. I have even pulled some of my friend's boyfriends before they were going out and yet all the guys saw me as was 'just a friend'. My female friends ask if it bothers me that everyone has a boyfriend and I'm still single and I always say that I enjoy being single etc. etc. but really it gets me down when I see them all cuddled up, I just want someone to be like that with me. The only thing to do is to focus on the positives, for example you're free to do what you want when you want and you're not tied down to one guy all the time, and when the next attractive guy comes along your friends can't have him cause they're already taken! Just remember you're only young once, life doesn't revolve around having a boyfriend, just have fun and enjoy yourself and I'm sure that you'll find another guy sooner than you thing, after all, guys like calm, laid back girls :) xx Hope everything works out for you
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): I know what you mean but from a guy standpoint only thing is that i'm not an attractive guy like your an attractive girl.. but my problem is tha i like thesse girls so much and tell them that but i cant get them to like / love me back if you can help me maybe i can help you. get in touch with me.
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female
reader, missc0rc0r +, writes (23 October 2008):
missc0rc0r is verified as being by the original poster of the question For A Reason - thank you a lot. But I'm not on depression pills just cause of that, I have family issues aswell. Thank you! 3
Dr Reality Check - Thank you so much. && no that didn't hurt. I love the truth. But you are right I don't like myself and I just need to learn how to. Thank you! 3
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male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (23 October 2008):
 I'm sorry, but I hate these sugar-coated answers you are getting, and if you are honest with yourself you will know that you dont need them either. The TRUTH is this: how on earth can you expect someone to love you when it comes across that you don't even like yourself? Think about it, would you want some 'pathetic' (your word) moaner? Get yourself out of your hole and start enjoying life. Love will find you then, not in the state you're in now. Sorry, but the truth hurts - you need to get yourself to a better place before you can be loved.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): awww hunny that sounds so bad....
it is always hard to find a boyfriend at your age-belive it or not,
and when most find one, they kiss a couple of times and then the girl/guy decides to finish it cause they like his/hers mate......
why dont you try meeting friends of friends and guys you wouldnt normally hang around with, get to know them and it could work out xxxx
good luck hunny xxx
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female
reader, for_a_reason +, writes (23 October 2008):
 They say that you need to learn to love yourself before you have the chance of anyone loving you back - and I think this is true.
Come off the depression tablets, there is no need for someone as young as you to be depressed about this - you've got all the time in the world - seriously. Focus on everything else that's good in your life - not the part that you feel is missing. Enjoy doing all the things you'll miss when you do have a boyfriend taking up your time. Join some clubs and get out there meeting likeminded people - you're more likely to find someone you click with in those sorts of places.
I know it sounds difficult - but think about it this way, pretty face or not, no guy who's worth getting into a relationship is going to fall for the girl in the corner with a frown on her face.
When you're smiling, and clearly enjoying life - some guy will notice you and snap - you'll be back in the game.
Good luck :)
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