A
female
age
30-35,
*ittleRobyn
writes:Im currently 19 and 38 weeks pregnant. Me and the babys father are not together, he doesnt want anything to do with the baby.About a month ago, me and a boy (also 19) i have known for about 3 years and met twice before started SMS texting each other again, he knew about the baby and everything was going good with us (through SMS) and he said he really like me, wanted to be with me and if looking after us both was what it takes he wanted to do it..we agreed to take things slow and so we arranged to meet.Everything was great when we met, he said the baby didnt bother him, he even said he thought it was nice..and when i left he made me promise to meet him a few days later, and in the gap, we were constantly texting each other. We carried on like this for about 3 weeks.Then, last thursday, he told me that his family were going away the next day and wanted to know if i would spend a couple days at his house with him.. so i said yes.I stayed over his house last saturday night, nothing happened between us he even told me he wanted to be with me and everything was still great on sunday morning when i left, he even asked me if i would stay again that night. As i was leaving he told me he was going back to bed for a bit and would txt me when he was up.I didnt hear anything off him untill sunday evening, when he text me saying sorry he hadnt spoke sooner, he really enjoyed me staying. he seemed a bit off with me, but nothing unusual.Monday morning i tried calling him, no answer.. he then text me saying he was ill, but he still seemed ok with me.. tuesday i didnt hear anything off him and when i tried calling again, he text me saying he was watching football, so i said i get the idea.. he said dont be like that i still want to be with you.. and basically that was it, but sitll no mention of us meeting up agian.Wednesday morning i decided to go for it and text him saying do u want 2 see me tonight.. he just replied im working.. so i said whats going on, one minute u cant get enough always texting me wanting to see me saying u cant wait to see me being proper nice and caring, the next u hardly text me, dont want 2 see me and wont answer the phone, i just want to know the truth about how ur feeling and whats going on...He replied 'rite i do wat to be with u just theres a few things im just getting my head around! the thing is i dont want to rush things when theres a baby involved do u get what i mean?'I replied not really.. but tell me though (i knew he didnt want to rush things and neither did i but i dont understand what had changed from the weeks before being really interested untill now)He text back... i meant to take things slow untill shes born it dont mean i dont want to see u just its gettin a bit scary for meI said to him theres nothing 2 b scared about, im not expecting you to take on a father role at all.. maybe u want to see me tomorrow?But no reply.. so i asked again, r u sure thats all thats on ur mind.. he said yeh nothing for you to worry about.. i said i cant make you see me or spend time with me so i dont know what to do.. he said i will do soon i promise.. i said please dont let me down.. he said i wontAnd since then, nothing... i dont really know what to do, one minute hes really nice suggesting names for the baby, wont leave me alone evern and now i dont feel as though hes telling me the complete truth and not sure what to do next!! I was thinking maybe i should txt him on sunday and say im coming over meet me here at this time i need to talk 2 u face to face... or should i just leave it? i dont want to be hanging on forever not knowing whats going on, but i dont want to pester him either!! Please help me! x
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (24 October 2008):
 I agree with Emily.
Of course it's not scary to u, you're the pregnant one! lol Imagine being with a guy who had a kid and he had baby momma drama. That'd be scary for you, wouldn't it?
Anyways, I think that you are afraid to go out and do stuff on the fact that you might miss one of his texts. Don't be. You should be out having fun, as in swimming, hanging out with friends, etc., because when that baby comes, your time is going to be limited.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 October 2008):
So shockingly, he had all the time in the world on the weekend, and then he was busy through the week?
I think you are in danger of over reacting here. For someone who is taking things slowly you are being very needy in your text messaging and phone calls.
He's keeping his distance as you agreed to take it slowly and not make him a dad, and then you've freaked out so he's taking a day to think about what to do next.
Let him work through the week and stop sitting around over analysing every text.
Go out and go swimming or something so you can't look at your phone every 3 seconds.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, for_a_reason +, writes (24 October 2008):
 It sounds to me like he just needs some space. You have a baby so you must understand that for him beginning a relationship with you will be far more complicated than one with a girl who doesn't have a child.
Just give him some time to get his head around what he's letting himself in for. You say you told him that you didn't expect him to play a father role, and that's fine - but you must understand that the baby will be involved in your relationship one way or another - and he'll have to deal with that.
He'll ring you or text you back in his own time - until then you're just going to have to give him some time. I'm sure he will see you soon - it doesn't sound as if he's playing you.
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