A
male
age
30-35,
*organ4marriage
writes:Okay me and my girlfriend love each other very very much. And I know for sure that this is true love and not a high school crush. I am currently 14 and my girlfriend is the same age. We have been going out for 6 months. When we first got together about the first month we started dating I flirted with one of her friends. It was a very very long time ago, but she says it still hurts like it was yesterday. I have said sorry and bought her flowers more times than I can count on my fingers and toes. She knows that I am very sorry. And to me it seems like she has pretty much forgotten about it. Though she is having a lot of trust issues. Currently we are at different schools. But next year we will be going to the same school. She is really really trying to trust me, but she says she just cant. She questions everything I do. And when I tell her the truth about where I am and who I'm with she does not believe me. I have told her that she is my one and only many times, but sometimes she believes me and sometimes she doesn't. It is very hard. She kind of wants to break up, because this is hard on both of us. I know deep down in my heart that I love her and if she doesn't break up with me, that we will get married some day. So how can I prove to her that I am not lying about where I am, and who I'm with? Also how can I prove to her that she is the one and only? Please help ASAP because we might break up soon!!!!! Thanks a lot!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, for_a_reason  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 I can only really repeat what Dr. Reality Check said. You're 14, and it's highly unlikely that you'll be marrying this girl someday. Situations and people change, and moreso when you're going through your teens - hormones flying about etc - who knows whether in a year you'll still feel the same?
But then again, you never know - sometimes it does happen, though very rarely, and if it's meant to be and you both feel the same way, it'll happen.
I think you need to just enjoy the here and now - be sensible and don't give her any reason not to trust you. Assure her that you've got no intention of lying to her or cheating on her etc. and eventually she'll believe you, and then you can both look at where you're headed. I have a feeling that things will get better once you're both in the same school.
As for letting her know that she's the 'one and only' - buy her, or make her something completely unique. Something special to her, that says you understand her well enough and care enough to try that hard. She'll soon get the message :)
Good luck - I reall do hope you prove us all wrong!
A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Look, you're 14. You probably never will get married, or end up with this girl. Very few relationships from this age last the course - not because we don't have feelings for them, but because people change, situations change etc. You made a big mistake not such a very, very long time ago as you care to believe it is. April seems about two minutes ago to me. The other thing you need to learn is that as nice as buying flowers and telling her how much you love her are, they mean nothing if these aren't backed up by actions. You need to SHOW her how much you love her to win her trust. Unfortunately, this stupid mistake you made a while back is costing you, and although it may not seem like a big deal to you, it is to her.
At your age all experiences in relationships are good practice for the future. At least next time you will know not to act so stupidly. I'd love to be able to give you a secret remedy for your situation, but the truth of the matter is that unless she is able to trust you, the relationship will never last.
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