A
female
age
30-35,
*ooty24
writes:Been with my bf for 9 months and I love him so much. The problem is that I find his best friend extremely attractive and I find myself thinking about him all the time. I think he might find me attractive too because he always hangs out with me in the group and gives me a lot of eye contact.I am in no way flirting with him because I know how wrong it is that I should feel this way. I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend but this feeling is eating away at me inside.Me and my bf are supposed to be going out for drinks with him and a couple of mates this weekend... any idea on what I can do about feeling this way? It's driving me mad!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): Yeah, that's a tough one and one that only you can really answer. You write that you're thinking about the best friend all the time and that it's eating away at you. I think you just need to really think about what you're feeling and why to help yourself get through it. Be really honest with yourself. Sounds to me like you want to get busy with the best friend and I'm of the train of thought that if your not married than your single, so if you want to be with someone that you're hot for like you obviously are for the best friend, you should do that and get it out of your system before you tie the not. Plus, I'm sure the best friend knows what's up too which is just sad for your boyfriend. I'd say take a long hard look at what you really want and take it from there. If you find that you want to want to stay with your boyfriend, then avoid his best friend for a while until you cool down. You could tell you boyfriend about it, but that would probably make things bad even though it's super honest and a really noble thing to do. Most guys can't handle that kind of honest information, so I'd say just avoid the best friend and don't say why and try to do it in a way that isn't suspicious. BUT only do that id you're SURE you don't want to go out and have some fun. Be honest. Don't be nice. I'm 28 by the way.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (12 August 2009):
 well put it this way hun! i don't think you're boyfriend you are with is the one you love if it was you wouldn't start feeling this way about a friend of his.
what i think you need to do is talk to your boyfriend and this relationship may have to end if you're feeling for his friend.
and then you'll just have to see what happens from there.
hope this helps.
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (12 August 2009):
 Your saying that you love him so much. If that were the case, how you view his friend would not make any difference. So, your question would also cause question to how you view your boyfriend, or if your love with him is true.
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A
female
reader, Felisha Marie +, writes (12 August 2009):
 Quite a few people are attractive. When you're with someone in a committed relationship, why would this be an issue? Desiring his best friend is the same as saying that you're not in love with your boyfriend, and that he could be replaceable by this best friend.
Attractive = lust. Love is much deeper than being or seeing someone as being attractive. Willing to jeopardize your relationship says you need to review how much you love your boyfriend.
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