A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have a bad social life. There are so man reasons for this, No money, flaky unsincere friends, my no-bf situation, spending the last year of my life in th books studying for my degree that now that I am finished and want to go out and have fun, I can't seem to find any of my "friends" to do things with.I am a nice, fun girl (i think).I am a good friend. What is the problem? Why is it a Saturday night with me sitting on my bed typing tis question? Im only 22 and feel like im living the life of a 60 year old.Also while I as studying for my degree i didn't desert my friends i kept in contact was always available for a special night out for birthdays etc., so this isn't a case of me being a bitch to my friends and now they are doing the same to me.I really like this guy and I never get the chance to meet him because I havent been out in 3 weeks!I am tired of being sad. I am tired of feeling alone, completely and utterly alone. I just want some friends, some real friends, that I can do things with. A group of friends that I can just assume we will be doing something on the weekends.I want a life! I want to be having fun and enjoying life, because right now I am not!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): Hey there!Yep I'm in the same situation...I transferred universities and found that some of my friends started flaking on me also. Now being at a new university and city I am finding it increasingly hard to meet people let alone the right people as most of my subjects are maths and physics based.Currently I signing myself up to as many activities and sports as I can afford time. I also got a job working as a party DJ, so every weekend I head out to someones party and meet a whole heap of people.The best advice I got about loneliness is that it is your feel that way and it is also your choice to do something about it.I couldn't be bothered writing anymore, but all the best
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): When you get out of college people change and so do situations. I studied a lot in college and did not have as much of an opportunity to meet a group to hang out with, but then I found a group and it clicked (just graduated myself). It is all about meeting the right group of people. Some of my best friends I met involved going on a trip and now we still hang out after college. Another one of my good friends I made by going to play kick ball. I recommend trying a sport or activity in which you can meet more people your age. Maybe be forthcoming and ask the guy you like to go out with you sometime, just the two of you. Everything will work out in time. Just keep your chin up and go out and do things you love... even if its by yourself and if you meet someone while doing it (and with your described personality you will) then great. A LOT of people are in your shoes. Follow your own gut, have fun:)!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 AWWW your adorable, I have often wondered this if you watch tv or look at facebook profiles some people seem to have tons of friends there's even a tv show called friends, i tried to figure out what was the big deal.
Some things i noticed Kids have friends college students have friends adults have a friend. there now busy with work and preparing for the future or retirement or taking care of there family, unless they have some sort of activity ie a bowlinglegue fishing sports some binding and common theme you tend to have a few friends after awhile friends come out of necessity and convenience . Consider how you met your friends in the past.
I think its normal for you not to have many or any close friends if you have completed college and everyone has gone there separate ways and your starting a new phase in your like it makes since. You can try this Volunteer at a nursing home soup kitchen orphanage Hospital church etc Its not hard and theese places and the people they serve will be glad you did,Plus its a good way to meet people and it will be alot better for your body then getting plastered at some bar.
Having friends can be great you can go out and party at the club........... yeah, im thinking if you take away the alcohol and replace it with vinegar but the amount of money you spend per bottle, shot glass, mug etc remains the same you will realize no ones really that funny your drinking poison and you just paid alot for it.
Common ground when you find people that have similar taste and interest as you youve struck gold. How to find them simple ask.
For the poster i would suggest you get a profile here instead of being anonymous for starters and you have a life and you are living, you just want to enhance it a bit. You say you want to have fun whats stopping you thats a question because the lack of friends shouldnt stop you from having fun. and your not alone youve got the whole world go check it out.
Take singing lessons go ahead cant hurt
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A
female
reader, Felisha Marie +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Well, you can't change what others do. If you think you're a good friend, a good person, then it's their loss, right? In my personal opinion...since when do you need a crowd to have fun? If you're only 22, and fun, get out there and do it. Nothing is stopping you, nobody is telling you "Don't go out and have any kind of fun, it's forbidden!" You want a life? Make one.
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