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... Send *astedLife a private message | | | *astedLife's profile:I'm single yet again, and looking. I never wanted the single life, just a wonderful woman I could love and be loved by, live with and for, and have hot, gentle, passionate and nurturing sex with, and cuddle all night long before we made love again in the morning. Someone that shared a vision of the world and wished to walk life together, each appreciating the other for who we are.
I've walked this earth for too long, looking and learning, and am glad to share my understandings with fellow humans, both male and female. I've loved and lost too often, and I'm afraid the sadness of it all has become part of me, yet maybe I can still be of help to others.
I am well educated in the style of the Renaissance Man, able to do most anything, including carry a conversation across most disciplines, especially the sciences.
I currently live in southwestern United States with my two cats and a dog, in paradise yet all alone. I am quite well off and have my own financial means, so I can make my own schedule and work as much or as little as I please. It took years of struggle to get here, but I have arrived, though the solitude, while beautiful, is empty without a mate and lover.
You might wonder about my screen name - in my experience, life without a lover is wasted, one day or night at a time.
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My boyfriend of 7 months lied to me about his age . . .
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now. We have been completely in love. It is passionate and intimate and we have talked about long term and how we are what the other hoped to find. He has been divorced for 3 years, was married for ...
A. 8 August 2008: Do you love him and does he love you? If yes, why do these other things really matter? Try to put yourself in his shoes - on the first date you want to know about kids and age, and he just wants to be loved for himself. He probably thinks that he ... (read in full...)
My husband is irresponsible and won't file taxes!
Q. I had dated a man (had a baby, got married, and am now pregnant with his second child) for two and a half years before getting married. He owned a nightclub and was opening a restaurant when we met. He convinced me to try to get a house for us ...
A. 19 July 2008: In a marriage, debt incurred by one may not be a debt for both of you depending on state laws, and whether or not you signed for the loans. The federal government is big, clunky and powerful, but it can be erratic in it's reach. I'd certainly get ... (read in full...)
I uploaded sexy videos of my girlfriend's to the Internet, where do I stand legally now?
Q. my girlfriend made some sexy vids for me and sent them 2 my email while i was working away , months later we split after i found out she was cheating and in the heat of the moment uploaded them to internet . she found out and has said she is going ...
A. 16 July 2008: A test of maturity is whether or not you will break something that you cannot fix. You can't fix what you broke no matter what you try to do. You certainly can and should do the obvious - remove the videos from any sites that you can. You can't ... (read in full...)
Why do I bleed when I have sex?
Q. Why do I bleed when I have sexual intercourse?...
A. 5 July 2008: At your age, you might have fibroids. You may have a sensitive vagina or very rough sex. Is he much bigger than you're used to? Do you have sex often? If you are not used to regular sex, the vaginal mucosa may get irritated. Are you using a ... (read in full...)
He just wants sex but then talks about marriage. What is going on?
Q. I am very confused. Very confused. Last night I was with my "BF?". We've been seeing each other for about 15 months.Because he travels a great deal for his work, we usually see each other 5-6 times a month with as much as 3 weeks between visits ...
A. 5 July 2008: The questioner here lives in the USA, and the divorce laws here are draconian if you are the guy. The bf here has been separated for 7 years and travels extensively, so it's likely that he makes a lot of money and has a lot of assets. Divorce here ... (read in full...)
Am I going to die alone because I'll be single forever?
Q. Am I going to be single forever??? I have been single for ages after my boyfriend of 8 years cheated on me. Iv been on a few dates and have made sure im not clingy, that I pay my own way and am fun etc etc (its been a while since i dated lol). T...
A. 2 July 2008: Are you advertising on the Internet? It does give you the opportunity to clarify who you are looking for and to see what type of woman the men are looking for. At your age, it would seem that you would have fairly good opportunities - though I do ... (read in full...)
I just found out that he cheated on me...do we still have a chance of being together?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 14month now and we have set a date to get married wich is next year but i recently found out he cheated on me with my best friends little sister i feel so disapointed and let down do you think we still have a chance ...
A. 1 July 2008: I wouldn't write him off completely, though it may take years before you two are able to get beyond this. There's a certain "devil you know vs. devil you don't know" thing here. There's a slim but real chance that he can learn from this - but ... (read in full...)
Is it possible my girlfriend could know she is pregnant after only a week?
Q. me and my girlfriend had sex bout a week ago, and now she says she is pregnant already, is that possible to know that soon?...
A. 1 July 2008: Many women can feel if they are pregnant somewhere between immediately and the next day. Even young women might have had an abortion or miscarriage, so they know the feelings. Others might just feel a bit different and guess they are pregnant, so ... (read in full...)
How do you get rid of a sunburn really quickly?
Q. Sorry, this isn't a relationship question BUT basically I got really sun burn at Glastonbury Festival and its SO SORE and RED and painful!!! im slapping on the after sun like there's no tomorrow but the problem is im supposed to be getting a t...
A. 1 July 2008: Skip the tat for now - the skin is sore, red, and mostly INFLAMED. Get it later if you want. I'm no tattoo expert, but it would seem the ink will migrate and bleed from where it belongs, resulting in a poor result. There may well be medical ... (read in full...)
From best friends to lovers: How do we get past knowing so much about each other and making this work?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 10 months now. The problem (which mst of you will not see as a problem) is that we were very close friends for about three years before we started seeing each other in a romantic sense and we know ...
A. 1 July 2008: You didn't mention your age. You might be in your 20's or perimenopausal - we don't know, and women's libido can change radically over the years. If it's physiological, see an MD and insist on an answer and solution. If not, see below.
A rul... (read in full...)
My husband is pretending to be a young girl on a poker site!!
Q. my husband has been pretending to be ayoung girl on apoker site he has been chatting to a man in finland he stays up until all hours chatting and flirting he has today sent him a cd of love songs please can anybody help me...
A. 1 July 2008: I agree with the first answer. Have you asked why he is doing it? Did you tell him it creeps you out? And have you asked him to stop doing it for you?
If he has no good answers after this, you might want to ask him if he really wants to be wi... (read in full...)
How can I understand just how much I've hurt her by cheating on her??
Q. My fiancee and i broke up about 5 months ago because she found out i cheated on her, i have changed the way i live my life and have become a great person, i will never chea t again, i have stopped drinking, and lying and living the terrible way i ...
A. 1 July 2008: Sadly, the way most guys learn this lesson is to lose her permanently. Women are not the same after they have been cheated on, and neither are guys. When a relationship is close enough, many partners will actually feel and know when they are ... (read in full...)
He never thinks about things in advance!!
Q. I have been seeing a man for one year and we live an hour apart by car. It's a given that we will spend the weekend together (I usually drive to his house as he has an 11 yr old son) but I get frustrated that he doesn't make advance plans to ...
A. 1 July 2008: This sounds like a classic communication problem between men and women. Many men are just fine hanging around the house, making love, spending time with "family", etc. We are inclined to avoid going "out", unless it's clear that the woman WANTS to ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my partner that its my time of the month??
Q. I am a very private and personal person. The dilema is that I'm not sure how to tell my lover when its that time of the month. I usually just avoid him for those few days but he's recently been away for a month and wants to be intimate but I ...
A. 1 July 2008: Men don't take hints - in fact, we rarely even recognize them. That's who we are. We won't pay attention to a receipt, if we even notice it. If you say it's "my time of the month", or even "I'm on my period.", he WILL get it and appreciate you ... (read in full...)
What does an investor do?
Q. Please - This question might sound boring but I need to know. What's the work of an investor? How many hours a day do they work? Do they work on bank holidays? Is their income high or low?...
A. 27 June 2008: I would like to clarify - the questioner is asking about an investor - not an investment broker. An investor is one who invests his or her OWN money in the hopes of adding or creating value or otherwise getting the highest return on said money. An ... (read in full...)
What does an investor do?
Q. Please - This question might sound boring but I need to know. What's the work of an investor? How many hours a day do they work? Do they work on bank holidays? Is their income high or low?...
A. 27 June 2008: Investors choose the best way to use money to add value or get a good return on it. They take careful risks with their own money. They may work anywhere from an hour a day to 16+ hours a day, since it's their own money at risk and they need to ... (read in full...)
I want to know what experiences people have with age-gap relationships...
Q. I don't really have a problem..(well i do, but thats a dif. story..lol) Anywho, I just want to know if there is anyone out there that is dating or married to someone with an age difference of over 15 years,and if so what makes it work and what ...
A. 5 June 2008: The two best relationships of my life were with much younger women and I am actively looking for someone much younger woman now. We were both good for each other, we learned from each other and we had fantastic sex together.
Most if not all ... (read in full...)
Some men put work before their women, how is a proper ordering of priorities?
Q. What ranking is a woman meant to come in their partners life?? What should be coming before them and after?? Some men put work before them, is this right?? Or should a women come before work?? Just a general question really. Something me and...
A. 4 June 2008: Woman comes first she's the first love - and she needs to be fed, clothed, housed, excited and comforted. It can be done, but it's a lot of work, and most of us try really hard. If there are kids, then they come right after the woman, since she is ... (read in full...)
Is this possible? Science-wise?
Q. is it possible to get pregnant if i have my boyfriend ejaculate in my mouth, and i save it in a syringe and then inseminate the semen into my vagina? ...
A. 4 June 2008: Yes, it's possible. It's a VERY bad idea unless you have a very good reason and both of you agree. Leading a man to become a father under deceitful circumstances is just plain wrong. Why would you want to do this anyway?
It may be just an acade... (read in full...)
He won't let me meet his mother. What's going on?
Q. My partner and I have been together for a year and a half and during that time although he’s met my parents, he has deliberately engineered events to ensure that I’ve never met his mother – who only lives in the next street! We’re not yet living t...
A. 4 June 2008: An important part of being one's lover/partner/wife is being there for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, including being nurse/mother/confidante, etc., at least some of the time.
It's easy to be in relationship when everythi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 7 months lied to me about his age . . .
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now. We have been completely in love. It is passionate and intimate and we have talked about long term and how we are what the other hoped to find. He has been divorced for 3 years, was married for ...
A. 4 June 2008: Men(and women) are put in the preposterous position that they almost must lie about their age. Women online sort based on age, so what are we to do? They don't know us and eliminate us based on a number. I have tried being honest about mine, and ... (read in full...)
When I ask him about us, he always says he wants things to stay as they already are - but I'm not happy with the little time we spend together!
Q. im a 41 yr old woman, whose been in a 2 yr relationship with my bf, hes 60, we both been married and divorced with children from our marrages, his children are grown, but his younger son is still living with him, hes 18 and 2 of my children are ...
A. 4 June 2008: My own age is entirely too close to that of your bf, and I generally tend to suggest salvaging a relationship rather than abandoning it. That said, it seems he really doesn't want a serious relationship. I did know a girl like that once, and she ... (read in full...)
I want my online guy back, will it help if I surprise him with a visit?
Q. i really luv him lyk anything...but thatz not all...he is being 11 yrs elder to me..and am now 18.We met through net..chatted..been friends for long.... shared our pics and slowly got intimate...and fell for each other..We even decided to marry each ...
A. 3 June 2008: Things can change if you meet - though probably they will change badly. Men don't like surprises nearly as much as women do, and you are likely to embarrass him with family and maybe others. It sounds as though he really wants to avoid getting too ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about the annulment now or later, or even never?
Q. Should I tell him now or never? I had a short duration (3 months)of a long-distance marriage. My ex was impotent at the time of marriage so this marriage was never consummated. I moved to a different state, later we both moved to different countr...
A. 3 June 2008: If he never asked about your past, and never asked if you were ever married, I'd leave it alone. An annulled marriage never happened, according to legal and church doctrine, so I'd let it be until either he asks, or you two are in a much more ... (read in full...)
This girl wants me to come over, is that slutty?
Q. I just recently started talking to this girl, we havnt hung out yet but she has already asked me to come over to her house, is that somewhat of a slutty thing to do? I really would like her to be my GF but it seems shes looking just for sex. Btw im ...
A. 3 June 2008: Consider yourself lucky! Drop the concept of slutty from your life and recognize that girls have lots of choices in sex - especially at 20, and you are privileged. Go have fun, talk and learn, and if the opportunity presents, then go for it if it ... (read in full...)
What should I do? He's pushing me to do unpleasant things!
Q. I am 13 years old and I'm dating a 17 year old,but he keeps pushing me to do unpleasant things,what should I do?...
A. 3 June 2008: First thing - tell him it doesn't feel right and you're not ready yet. If he doesn't get the point, just say NO. It's important to know how to say YES too, but you're not there yet. Tell him if that's what he needs, perhaps he's too old for you. ... (read in full...)
The problem with my bff is that I want to go out with him! Help!
Q. i really love my best friend. he is so cute, he's sweet and i'd totally go out with him. except he doesn't like me back. he did once, but now he acts like i'm his sister. i don't know what i should say or feel. can anyone help me here?...
A. 3 June 2008: Has he hit puberty? Girls mature much younger these days and he may not be ruled by testosterone yet. Definitely keep him as your best friend and be open to things changing as he grows. It's OK to be a bit flirty and see if he responds, though a ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for relationship when living far from a city?
Q. I live way out in the country, have earned enough to support me well for at least one lifetime, and I really enjoy just working on my land, building and inventing things, and making deep, powerful, soul-merging love. The only problem is lack of a ...
A. 3 June 2008: Thanks everyone - I'm doing what I can to work with your suggestions. Jen86, it's too bad you're in a relationship and on the wrong side of the pond, - you're just the right age for me! Let me know if anything changes XD.
Aunt Letty - good ide... (read in full...)
Girls only see me as a friend...
Q. How odd is it to almost be 23 years old and still not had any real relationships? I am a 23 year old male and relatively good looking, or so I am told by some female friends. The problem is I just don't know how to move from the friendship stage...
A. 1 June 2008: Part of the answer is right from the beginning - when you meet a girl, be flirty and use LIGHT sexual innuendo. Be touchy-feely, but not creepy. Make sure you touch her in some way(other than a handshake) within the first few minutes of meeting. ... (read in full...)
I had sex with the guy I met on line, but he does not know I am a minor as I lied about my real age!
Q. Right this may sound really stupid, and anyone who reads this is going to think I have a very low self estime and no confidence at all. But I used to go on chat rooms quite often, when I was bored or had no one to talk to on msn, and just for fun I ...
A. 1 June 2008: There is only one ethical thing to do, and that is to break it off for any reason until you are legal. You might have an honest conversation with him after you are 16, but for now, just avoid him until you are of age. Don't give him guilty ... (read in full...)
Knowing about her past makes me feel inadequate, but I love her! So why do I feel like running away?
Q. My problems kinda about jealousy... So i'm really, really close with this girl. we're not ''official'' but only because I wanna give it time, we do everything a normal young teen couple would do. My problem is with her past...It isn't that sl...
A. 30 May 2008: She's with YOU, not them! That's what you need to remember. Speed is not a drug I would use unless I was in a war zone, and then only to stay alive - be glad she is still healthy.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things, even if you d... (read in full...)
Guy trouble! Please help me!
Q. well i was with this guy for 12 days, however i still have feelings for him, he dumped me a few months ago. since then he never told me why we broke up or anything. everytime i try to talk to him we always end up arguing. it became really bad when...
A. 30 May 2008: At this point, the best you can do is to be friends. I know it hurts, but it's going to hurt anyway. By creating friendship, there is a chance you will remember each other positively after the next two weeks, and even keep contact.
Creat... (read in full...)
I can't stand to see him any more, but our daughters are good friends. Any thoughts?
Q. I split some months ago, after a 2 yr relatyionship from a guy. We tried staying mates because our children got on well. My daughter is a bit of a loner, but she gelled real well with his daughter of the same age. They are 11. But recently things ...
A. 30 May 2008: OK, first thing, don't let anyone pull strings! You may well not be able to be friends, but you can be cordial, regardless of where he is coming from. Stay really centered, and point out - by email if possible, that the kids are getting along and ... (read in full...)
I'm playing hard to get. What is he expecting?
Q. Is he expecting me to make the moves on him? We have demonstrated to be attracted to each other. He hasn't approached me yet we flirt and flatter each other. Two years ago he wanted to go out with me but I turned him down because of another ...
A. 30 May 2008: Your question does not mention your age. Do you love this guy or do you just want to "have" him? Why are you playing hard to get? Some guys love the challenge, but some hate it and won't even play the game. I am part of that latter group, though ... (read in full...)
How do you get over an ex?
Q. I was with my ex for over 2 years and fell deeply in love with him it was fantastic! I lost my virginity to him and doted on him. We split up last september due to their being an age difference and i was really depressed for 4 months. In April I met ...
A. 30 May 2008: Your first time is always special! Honor that, and respect it. Hopefully your new guy is understanding enough to deal with it. When you are with your new guy, make very sure he knows he's the only one now, even though your ex is around and he ... (read in full...)
What is a single mom's best bet?
Q. I'm single mom with health issues, my BF wants to buy a house and put my name ONLY on the mortgage and he pays Is this wise? The reason I am having a dilemma: I live in a bad neighborhood, my kids like him, we have been together for 6 years and ...
A. 26 May 2008: Ask oldersister has some good ideas, though I would keep looking for a term policy and avoid whole life even if the term policy is expensive. It's just a more effective use of the money. The other reason for owning the policy is that if he owns ... (read in full...)
What is a single mom's best bet?
Q. I'm single mom with health issues, my BF wants to buy a house and put my name ONLY on the mortgage and he pays Is this wise? The reason I am having a dilemma: I live in a bad neighborhood, my kids like him, we have been together for 6 years and ...
A. 26 May 2008: Here's a thought regarding the post by Laura1318. You are certainly right that banks will only loan according to certain formula criteria. If the house is being financed either by third party private paper funding or an owner's mortgage/loan, the ... (read in full...)
What is a single mom's best bet?
Q. I'm single mom with health issues, my BF wants to buy a house and put my name ONLY on the mortgage and he pays Is this wise? The reason I am having a dilemma: I live in a bad neighborhood, my kids like him, we have been together for 6 years and ...
A. 26 May 2008: I live in the USA and have been involved in many complex real estate deals. There are literally no two identical deals in real estate and there are good reasons for the strangest of permutations!
There are lots of good reasons for him to keep his... (read in full...)
I've always had a problem with believing in true love, but I kind of still question it.
Q. I decided i'd give him a chance after 3 years, now i feel nothing could replace him. I've known him for longer than three years and he has told me his love for me ever sence the first time we met. Me and my love have been together for almost 4 mon...
A. 24 May 2008: It's great! Enjoy and be happy! Just don't take anything for granted, and I hope you two can show us all the way.
Thanks for sharing your joy. Good luck always.... (read in full...)
Do all guys get grossed out by kissing their partner after she gives you head?
Q. okay i have a question for all of you guys out there (girls feel free to answer if youve been in this situation). okay do all guys get grossed out by kissing thier partner after she gives you head? my boy friend doesnt want to kiss me after ive ...
A. 23 May 2008: This question is really weird. I'm a guy and would not touch another guy's body, but it's ME, not another guy. If I love someone I will go down on her and if she does the same with me and we both cum, it's wonderful, and the next logical thing to ... (read in full...)
He won't let me meet his mother. What's going on?
Q. My partner and I have been together for a year and a half and during that time although he’s met my parents, he has deliberately engineered events to ensure that I’ve never met his mother – who only lives in the next street! We’re not yet living t...
A. 14 May 2008: There is obviously some avoidance here. Family secrets. It may well be that his mother goes off on women and tells them they are sluts and harlots and to stay away from her son, etc. She may well be a closet drunk and socially shy and can't deal ... (read in full...)
I've always had a problem with believing in true love, but I kind of still question it.
Q. I decided i'd give him a chance after 3 years, now i feel nothing could replace him. I've known him for longer than three years and he has told me his love for me ever sence the first time we met. Me and my love have been together for almost 4 mon...
A. 10 May 2008: True love is very real, but you don't control his love. You do control yours, and it's yours to give as much as you want for as long as you want. He has the same choices. Enjoy it and love him dearly, though recognize that you can't "invest" in ... (read in full...)
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