A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I split some months ago, after a 2 yr relatyionship from a guy. We tried staying mates because our children got on well. My daughter is a bit of a loner, but she gelled real well with his daughter of the same age. They are 11. But recently things turned nasty and i wont go near him.Anyway, i cant be friends with him anymore, he is very manipulative and i feel the time has come to move on. All of us.How can i go about this, when my daughter loves still seeing his daughter. He picked her up earlier to go to the fair. I look like the bad guy and he's pulling all the strings!
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (30 May 2008):
OK, first thing, don't let anyone pull strings! You may well not be able to be friends, but you can be cordial, regardless of where he is coming from. Stay really centered, and point out - by email if possible, that the kids are getting along and it's good for both of them to stay in contact, and then let the kids lead. If they want a ride, or to stay over, let it be. Otherwise, stay away from the ex. Make sure the kids have good ways to stay in contact and leave it at that. They are resourceful anyway, and they have so many tools - email, myspace, DearCupid, etc.Do your best to never speak ill of him yet stay self contained and centered. Easier said than done, but it's best for the kids. He will do whatever he will, and hopefully he will pick up on the cue, but don't lecture or nag. It will create a negative dynamic. When all is said and done, the kids will get what they get, and all you can do is to keep the opportunity open as best possible. They will notice your attitude and it will help. Hopefully, he will find a new gf and be preoccupied with her. Good luck.
|
