A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend made some sexy vids for me and sent them 2 my email while i was working away , months later we split after i found out she was cheating and in the heat of the moment uploaded them to internet . she found out and has said she is going 2 the police . were do i stand legaly . some people say as she sent them to me thay are mine to do with as i please , other people say she can get me arrested please help
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (19 July 2008):
Wow, you're a jerk. Hopefully you do get in trouble!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): You'd have to investigate your country's laws, but she sent them to you of her own free will, without stated expectation of privacy or that you would keep them to yourself. I don't know if such a thing requires permission the way personal correspondence might, in legal terms; see if it's possible to publish someone's letters without permission from the sender, that is the equivalent technologically speaking of your emails. Consult a solicitor to be absolutely sure. But this would be a civil rather than a criminal issue - her case would probably be on defamation of character rather than on harassment, as your intentions may have been petty but it wasn't to hound her (you didn't send them to people she knew; the possibility that they might see the videos is small). The police are unlikely to get involved over a few homemade sex tapes when no crime has been committed: not stolen but given; she wasn't coerced into making them; you have not distributed them to harass her or defame her. Legally, I don't think she's got a leg to stand on. But the way to get it to blow over is to take them down, apologise, and cross your fingers that they haven't been copied and pasted all over the web by jerk-offs, and that nobody ever sees them. (If that issue is brought up - is it possible to identify her from the videos?)
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (16 July 2008):
A test of maturity is whether or not you will break something that you cannot fix. You can't fix what you broke no matter what you try to do. You certainly can and should do the obvious - remove the videos from any sites that you can. You can't prevent the videos from going viral and being reposted everywhere.
A sincere apology is in order, and anything else you can do without making things worse. In the United States, the law may let you get away with it to a degree, but you are apparently in Australia, and Fade878 has mentioned the law there. Judges and juries have a way of getting to the heart of a matter. Even if you are not charged with a crime, any good lawyer can sue you for the tort of defamation of character in a civil action. The standard of proof is much lower.
My best advice is to apologize, pray, correct things to the best of your ability, and resolve to respect your partner, even if she stops respecting you. Ponder the first sentence of this post again carefully.
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A
male
reader, Passthrough +, writes (16 July 2008):
 How would you like it if nude videos of you were posted online?
Take your punishment like a man.
You can and likly will be arrested. Dont be a jerk and deny accountability for the upload- It's not fair and sets bad precedence.
Tell the judge they were yours, and you acted out of anger, and you're sorry. Get a lean sentence, perhaps? Hope it doesnt get out of hand; hopefully nobody important sees the video.
She may have given them to you, but like a DVD, owning a digitial copy doesnt give you right to distribute.
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A
female
reader, Belladonna +, writes (16 July 2008):
I can not believe that CERTAIN people on here are telling you how to escape the heat.
What you did was petty and wrong and you deserve to be punished for it.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (16 July 2008):
 It may have been one thing if you just had possession of the videos but now you have gone a step further by uploading them to the internet. If I were you, I would take them down immediately and apologize. You dont want to be sued for damages that you may cause her such as grief from friends, family and the community. She could easily be fired from her job and have a hard time getting a job.
Do the right thing and keep those videos private and it may be in your interest to destroy all copies of the videos.
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