She starts chasing me after I stopped caring
Q. Hi I'm a 28 year old man. I was pursuing this girl, she is a bank teller, very pretty. One day I just walked up to her booth and gave her my phone #. She called me a few dys later and we started going out, got along real well. it all lasted about a ...
A. 15 June 2009: Sometimes people realize what they had once it's removed from their lives, absence does make the heart grow fonder. A woman also sometimes needs a challenge, if you were the one always pursuing she may have never felt any of it was her idea...her ... (read in full...)
My emotional affair ended with the married man! I miss him..any advice?
Q. I had an emotional affair with a married man with 2 kids for the last year. i trapped in his emotional talks only. e said so many lies to me that "i swear on god that i love you so much" i used to discuss my all the problems with him so openly. he ...
A. 3 February 2009: The only way to get through this is to simply go through it. You are going to miss him, have pain, and it will be difficult...but be assured that each day, little by little, it will get easier. Your emotions got tied up in him and now you have to ... (read in full...)
Should I bring my cat to the shelter?
Q. I know I may sound mean , but I am having trouble with my cat because it’s actually a family pet but most of the time, I do the cleaning, feeding, etc. What do I do? My mom was once actually sick of the animal too but my dad still wants to keep it. ...
A. 3 February 2009: You may not have asked for the cat or even wanted it, but it sounds like you're the only responsible person in your household. Sometimes love is a choice not a feeling, this is one of those instances. Yes, it's a pain to clean out the cat's litter ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be interested in older women?
Q. First of all, in order to understand wher I am coming from, it might prove beneficial to know a little about me. I am 18 years old, and in college. I study Computer Information Systems and Network, with a minor in German. German is my real ...
A. 3 February 2009: There's nothing wrong with being attracted to older women...you are simply looking on the inside and when you see depth and maturity it you like it. It so happens that the traits you like tend to be in older women. I wouldn't sweat it, don't worry ... (read in full...)
Living situation?
Q. Hello! I'll get right to the point. I currently live with my father and have for several years now after my parents divorced. My current life is nice, though I have no motivation for anything. It's an extremely small town with no movies, malls...
A. 3 February 2009: You have to do what you believe is in your best interest. Your father is an adult and will deal with it, he's the parent - not you - so it's not your job to take care of him but his job to see that what is best for YOU happens. Look at it this way, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my fiance, but my ex threatens to tell him we have slept together!
Q. Hi, I am a 23-year old girl from a very good family.I am completing my education from a very reputed college in India.My problem is that years back , when I was in grade 11 in school, I had this huge crush on my classmate. He was cute,friendly bu...
A. 2 February 2009: Your ex sounds like a very abusive, selfish, evil person. There's just no other way to put it. Google the term "narcissist" and you will see a description of this guy. My advice is to talk to your fiance and tell him that this guy has been trying to ... (read in full...)
My husband won't put me above beer and doesn't want to have sex EVER.
Q. Well basically my husband is an alcoholic which I didnt know when I met him and didnt know for a while after we started dating. Anyways, I fell in love with him, and eventually relized he drinks a lot (everyday). I told him that i didnt want to be ...
A. 2 February 2009: If you're concerned about him taking your money and you don't have a bank account yet, get your money put into traveler's checks with only YOUR name signed on them. Write the numbers for the checks down somewhere or email them to yourself, then if ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him how I feel? Is this relationship possible?
Q. I have graduated from college and have known one of my profs for about five years now. We've really hit it off and become good friends, but now I think it's becoming something more. When I was his student, he would pick on me in front of the cla...
A. 23 January 2009: You are no longer teacher/student since you are now graduated. You have to see yourself on an even level with him now, and certainly so for any relationship to work. And if what you say is true, then trust me, he likes you and has feelings for you. ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for this love
Q. Well I kind of feel confused about this so called "relantionship". Im 16 and in 11th grade but it all started when i was in 8th. Theirs this boy who use to like me and would make passes at me all the time asking me to marry him and everything, he ...
A. 23 January 2009: You are infatuated with him, which is a normal part of life. But do you like him because he's a good guy (respectful, polite, treats women well, kind, etc.) or do you like him because he's cute and everyone else wants him too? There are some... (read in full...)
I'm always seeing him with another man
Q. i have a problem with my bf,who i belived is a gay and he is keep on denying it,but i always see him with a another man and pretended that he is just a friend but i can feel something that its not right,when this is around,how can i be sure that he ...
A. 23 January 2009: If you sense something is wrong then you're probably right, go with your gut. This is not something to mess with because you could get a sexually transmitted disease. I would not rely on him admitting it to you because he may still not want to lose ... (read in full...)
Breaking free from a married man
Q. I fell in love with a married man and something happened (long story) and he disappeared without telling me. I was heartbroken, cried and went into extreme depression. I was in trying to get over him and move on and then he reappeared and explained ...
A. 23 January 2009: Yes, I would recommend seeing a therapist. You sound like you are very honest with yourself, that's a good thing. Find a good therapist who deals with co-dependency and find a good book about it. You will be amazed at what you read and how much it ... (read in full...)
Wanting more than what he will give
Q. I have been dating this guy since September. We're not boyfriend/girlfriend we're friends and it tears me up inside because I have deep feelings for him. We have had sex a couple of times and it's like the way he treats me, no other boyfriend I had ...
A. 23 January 2009: It sounds to me like you're "friends with benefits". My advice is not to have sex with someone who will not commit to you, it strengthens the bond and reinforces any feelings you have for him. I think there is nothing wrong with admitting that you ... (read in full...)
What causes menstrual cramps?
Q. What does it mean when you cramp a lot during your period? but is not just a cramp that comes and goes it stays the whole day and it hurts bad. What is it?...
A. 23 January 2009: You may have a hormonal imbalance, many times this causes PMS and severe cramps. Go to a doctor who specializes in NATURAL hormone therapy. I say natural because many doctors want to give you synthetic hormones, but you're much better off with ... (read in full...)
My husband won't put me above beer and doesn't want to have sex EVER.
Q. Well basically my husband is an alcoholic which I didnt know when I met him and didnt know for a while after we started dating. Anyways, I fell in love with him, and eventually relized he drinks a lot (everyday). I told him that i didnt want to be ...
A. 23 January 2009: You married him hoping he would change, there is a term for this and it's called co-dependency. Google the term. He may be addicted to alcohol but you are addicted to the relationship. There is an organization for co-dependents and it's call ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I will ever fit into my boyfriend's life.
Q. I'm not sure I will ever fit into my BF's life. We have been together for 7 months now, he is recently divorced and his family and friends invite his ex-wife to everything. He has never brought me and I know its because he knows I'll be ...
A. 23 January 2009: It sounds like it is just too soon after the divorce, 7 months isn't that long. Things are very unsettled and weird after a divorce, everyone is still trying to adjust and figuring out just where they fit in. It also sounds like some people ... (read in full...)
It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and he didn't even get me a card. How do I breach this subject maturely?
Q. Ok, so I'd like some advice on how to sit down and talk to my boyfriend about his recent behaviour... It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and he didn't even get me a card. I questioned him about this, calmly, and all he had to say was that ...
A. 3 September 2008: Your intuition is kicking in when you say you are thinking of breaking up with him. His lack of consideration for you should leave you feeling insecure about your relationship. You were looking for a small token for your special day and he couldn't ... (read in full...)
Does watching/playing 'Lolicon' turn you into a pedophile?
Q. I'm a 16-year-old male and have been thinking about lolicon. I played a few lolicon online games when I was 12 and found it to kind of turn me on. I by no means like the real stuff, I find the idea repulsive but it's different when it comes to this. ...
A. 22 May 2008: I don't know if it will turn you into a pedophile but if it's a concern I'd not play the game. The thing about sexual desire is that the more you concentrate on the object of desire the higher the desire becomes. That's how it's supposed to work ... (read in full...)
Why am I so attracted to men in authority?
Q. This may sound strange but i just want to know if anyone else out there feels the same. I am always attracted to people in management positions that i find it hard to settle for a guy with a normal position in a job. I'm 25 and i develope crushes ...
A. 22 May 2008: You're attracted to confidence and people who have worked their way up into a position of authority generally have confidence and ambition. Henry Kissinger said the ultimate aphrodisiac is power, but it's the qualities that go the person there ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my daughter's boyfriend that I don't want to date his father?
Q. Hi, I'm a single mom with 2 grown kids and a teenaged daughter still at home. My daughter has boyfriend who is a great kid. I love him dearly. He is so nice and good to my daughter a real cutie. I would never in a million years want to hurt his f...
A. 22 May 2008: You simply tell him that while it was nice to meet him you just aren't interested, and leave it at that. You don't have to give any explanation. If either you daughter or her boyfriend push for more information just laugh it off and say you aren't ... (read in full...)
My husband has been sending pictures of himself in his underwear to a man, is planning to meet him, and has told me that it's none of my business!
Q. I'm 27, and my husband's 29. We have two children, a 4-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter and have been married for 3 years. On Tuesday when I was checking our email to see if a bid I made on eBay was successful, an email came through fro...
A. 22 May 2008: Go get some support from a therapist and tell him that he needs to see one himself or the relationship ends. If he were sending pictures of himself in his underwear to a woman you'd have no problem figuring out what was going on, this is no ... (read in full...)
In love with another woman but terribly affraid of divorce and everything that comes with it!
Q. I am 35 years old and have been married for 8 1/2 years. I have a 3 year old son and 9 month old daughter. I've been having an affair for a year and a half now. I am madly in love with her and want to be with her all of the time. I have no desi...
A. 22 May 2008: What surprises me is that you've had this affair for a year and a half (18 months) yet you have a 9 month old child with your wife.
Your are in therapy with your wife because you tell people what they want to hear but do what you want anyway, ... (read in full...)
My daughter's friend keeps showing up at my office for help, seems like she developed a crush for me! How should I handle this?
Q. Hey, I'm having a problem with one of my daughter's friends and I'm unsure of what to do about it... so any advice is much appreciated. I work at my kid's school as I.T. support staff and one of my 13-year-old daughter's friends keeps showing up...
A. 22 May 2008: Teenage crushes...this is so normal and yet these days everyone makes a big deal out of them. It's really sad that everyone is now afraid of a girl having a crush, then once spurned she'll make false accusations...but let's face it, no one has any ... (read in full...)
When do you know that a man deserves a second chance?
Q. Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. I go to church and he does to. I do believe that god sometimes take a man and a woman away from each other to work on each one in their separate corner.We had problems like any other couples had. It's been hard ...
A. 22 May 2008: It all depends on what he did to cause you to break up with him. If he cheated, tore you down emotionally, or disrespected you then I'd say he doesn't deserve another chance. If it wasn't anything like that then perhaps you can try again. I thin... (read in full...)
Genuine teacher/student problem - urgent advice needed!
Q. Hey, genuinely want advice here guys! Ok, Im 16 and doing my 'A' levels at my school sixth form. There is this one teacher I get along very well with, and im not sure what's happening with us. He is married with children He is genuinely, i b...
A. 2 April 2008: Okay, the anonymous male poster said it correctly: you can't control who you fall in love with but you can handle how you act upon it. You will find in life that you will be attracted to various different men, it's part of our chemistry, but what ... (read in full...)
Crush on a teacher gone way too far!
Q. I hope someone can get their head round this because I cant! So i've known this guy for years, he's 23 years older than me, he was my teacher years ago, we had a business together and we've spent so much time chatting over the years - He was m...
A. 2 April 2008: I find it interesting that you were not happy in your new home across the country nor with your husband. You blew off your initial feelings with your former teacher as a crush and gave it a go with your husband away from this guy. I'm assuming you ... (read in full...)
How do I apologise to my teacher for causing problems?
Q. This is another of those teacher/pupil situations... Please don't lecture me, because the damage is already done! Basically I've been obsessively crushing on a teacher for over a year now, I got very depressed last year - I even considered givin...
A. 1 April 2008: First of all, your parents should have been more understanding. You are craving the positive attention of a man which is normal, and my guess is that you're not getting that at home, which is why you started having a major crush on this teacher. ... (read in full...)
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