A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know I may sound mean , but I am having trouble with my cat because it’s actually a family pet but most of the time, I do the cleaning, feeding, etc. What do I do? My mom was once actually sick of the animal too but my dad still wants to keep it. My brother doeesn’t take care of him at all and makes excuses like he’s at work or I’ll do it later (when later is a lot longer) or “I did it last time” and he gets mad at me. Or when he does it, he grunts all the way when doing the task. I don’t want to suffer anymore and yesterday night I almost tripped because of him, I didn’t know he was there, and yes accidents can happen, but I just find it so effing difficult to live with him. He’s an old cat and he’s been neutered but he’s been peeing on the living room from God knows when. He meows at night sometimes because he’s hungry when we are all sleeping. Sure he can give somoeone a companion, but I think in my case, the bad outweighs the good. The only problem is, he’s grown up with us and I feel so guilty if I were to take him into the shelter.
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, answersqueen  +, writes (3 October 2009):
If he is the family pet then yes if you think about it giving your cat away would proberly be very upseting.You also have to think that if nobody in your family if looking after it maybe the right thing for the cat is to give it a new home where the owners have lots of time to look after him/her.
Try talking to your dad about it seems though he wants to keep the cat maybe you could make some kind of agreement with him for him to take some of the reponsibility of taking care of it. You should also speak to your mum because if she wants to get rid of him/her so badly then there could be a very good explaination for why this is.
I no its a big decision giving a family pet away but sometimes you have to think what the right decision is. hope i help
Answerqueen x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Hi,I came across this page because I'm in a similar situation. My father had adopted two kittens when I was a kid but he recently passed away. Because my brother is lazy but wanted to keep the cats without having the responsibilities, I took both of the cats (now about 12 years old) even though I'm going to school and it is REALLY hard and expensive to take care of them and give them the attention they deserve while being a broke student.Anyway, my grandfather had a cat that was incontinent (due to a car hitting him) - he made messes all over the place. My grandpa felt too bad about euthanizing him, but seriously...the cat hated being messy all the time, he couldn't ever get clean from just grooming himself. The mess in the house was NOT worth keeping the cat, it was smelly and dirty all the time. Finally, to my relief, the cat passed away from health complications, which was better for the cat and the living conditions of my grandfather.The majority of the people who've responded to your question are being completely irrational. Animals are NOT equal to humans in many ways. I totally understand your annoyance at your family not wanting to help out, especially since it wasn't your decision to get the cat. Of course, ideally you would keep caring for him like everyone says, but situations change over time. I would take the cat to see the vet about fixing the urinary problem (I got the impression that it's an involuntary problem), and if nothing can be done or if it's ridiculously expensive to treat, euthanize him at the vet's. At least the cat will get to pass away with someone who cares about him instead of being depressed at a shelter and getting euthanized alone. Basically, there's no reason that a pet should become your first priority over health, dire money issues, etc, in my opinion.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): I missed your post where you are again trying to justify getting rid of the cat.
You didn't want a pet, your Dad did.
The cat doesn't have a soul anyway.
We have had the cat 9 years, that is longer than a lot of people keep their pets.
This is what people do to others, when they can't take care of them, dispose of dependent family members.
This is what people do to their older relatives, put them in nursing homes.
I have a lot of issues with money and health and the cat is a burden on my family.
I am not going to get into an argument about whether or not a cat has a soul, whether or not some people are cruel to members of their family or that putting an elderly person in a nursing home is wrong or not.
This has nothing to do with your cat. A cat is a domestic animal that is dependent on the care of humans, it bonds emotionally with it's human family and when a cat is dumped in a shelter it always becomes depressed acting and even can be considered non adoptable....especially at 9 years of age. An older cat especially will act depressed which makes the cat unfriendly to strangers, and it has competition to be adopted, with cute friendly kittens as uneutered cats can breed every few months!
When your Dad got the cat you made a committment for the care of that cat. The cat's very life is dependent on your family. If you have health issues, and money issues and you can't afford the $11/month it costs for feed and litter for one cat, then you need to take responsibility and ask your friends and family to adopt your cat, you need to put an ad in the paper, if you do this charge a little something for the cat so you know it isn't being adopted by someone who is going to sell it to a lab....ask some questions to be sure the cat is going to a good home.
If you put the cat in the shelter it will be killed because of all the conditions described above.
You scare me because you think that it is OK to do, it is not like the cat has a soul (how do you know, it wouldn't be heaven if animals weren't there and the cat has feelings doesn't that mean anything to you?) You think you at least have kept your cat for nine years so at least you are better than some people....do you really want to be an "at least" kind of person, that means you like to shirk all kinds of responsibility for things because "at least" you didn't do this or that....You think a nursing home is a bad place for an old person, as far as I know they don't put elderly people to death in a nursing home and they take care of their health and well being and their family still care about them and make visits....so what is your point with regard to your cat?
It is your family's decision, but I am not sure I would want to be a party to killing an innocent animal....I would do everything I could to afford the small amount of money it takes for it's care, and I would find it a better home than the one it live's in myself.
But like I said, your attitude scares me.
...............................
A
female
reader, RunsWithScissors +, writes (3 February 2009):
You may not have asked for the cat or even wanted it, but it sounds like you're the only responsible person in your household. Sometimes love is a choice not a feeling, this is one of those instances. Yes, it's a pain to clean out the cat's litter box, feed it, water it, etc. but you will be caring for a defenseless creature that didn't ask to be born or adopted into your family. This is your chance to exercise your free will to help an animal that can't ever pay you back. If you try some of the suggestions about cleaning out the litterbox you may find the cat will stop urinating outside the litterbox, then once you've thoroughly cleaned it it will be that much easier if you do it once a week.
If you continue to make this small sacrifice for this animal I believe you will always look back on that later in life and be glad you did it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Wow that is a defensive response, so you are feeling guilty, don't get mad at us for pointing out a few things. People who give up their kids for adoption are not copping out because they can't take care of them....they are not sending them to shelters to become someone else's problems, with human babies adoption brings joy to a childless couple or a couple that want a lot of children and can afford to offer them a great life....most adoptions are done because young girls get pregnant and are ill equiped to financially support a baby.
A cat is a completely different story. Your cat is not going to go to a loving home, get a grip.....if you take it to a shelter it WILL BE KILLED. No one goes to a shelter to adopt a cat NEAR THE END OF IT'S LIFE. They want a young animal that will spend some quality years with them and be part of a family.
Your elderly cat will be very depressed sitting there in a strange cold cage waiting to be killed, away from it's family. If you can no longer afford to take care of the cat that is one thing, find it a good home, take the responsibility on yourself to find it a home....but you can afford to take care of it, you just need to make some adjustments to make the cat more comfortable and less of an annoyance to you.....if the cat for instance has to go up or down stairs to it's litter box and it is old, try moving it to the level of the house the cat lives on or prefers. Clean the carpet to rid it of urine smells so the cat won't pee on it, and clean clean clean the litter box, cats are fastidious creatures and will shun a dirty litter box or one it is too arthritic to climb into. Do some adjustjments, the cat is dependent on you to take care of it.
I care about animals as much as I care about people, we are all God's creatures big and small and when you take on the commitment of having a pet, that is exactly what it is a commitment to see it to the end of it's life by caring for it up until the end....not some shelter employee who has to put down your healthy cat because you no longer want to honor it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn fact, can I ask you what you think about people giving up their OWN children for adoption? when they CANNOT take care of them anymore? Also, I think both you and Satin probably care more about animals then you do about human beings. I hope I'm wrong.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you rythmandblues, but I didn't buy the cat in the first place, my dad did. I never wanted a pet. You didn't have to be mean about it! I agree and know what you are saying but don't people do that to their "parents" when they are old? Put them in a "nursing home"? anyway, it is still MY and my family's decision in the end. It's not like he has a soul anyway. I do feel guilty and we've managed to have him for at least 9 years already. That's more than some people can say about their pets! so before you truly judge my situation, I have alot of problems health wise, money wise and the like so this is actually getting to be a burden in the family. In fact, this is what people usually do with others right? dispose of something they can't take care of anymore. Even dependent family members.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): http://cats.about.com/cs/litterboxproblems/a/urinewoes.htm
Here is a good article on cat's peeing outside the litter box.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): http://www.catchannel.com/care/elderly/article_20669.aspx
http://www.catchannel.com/care/elderly/article_1439.aspx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): I think this is a gross injustice to take your elderly cat to a shelter because he annoys you and you don't feel like taking care of him anymore. The fact that no one else in your household wants to join in his care is also distressing, but you know what I own two cats and they have been my sole responsibility for over 15 years with my old cat.
The reason your cat is urinating outside of the litter box is one because he can smell it because no one cleans it....and his box needs to be completely cleaned of all litter and soaked in cleaning solution either, a littly lysol and water, bleach and water, ammonia and water and rinsed thouroughly to remove the smell in the bottom of the box, then put clean litter in it. Do this at least every month, every week is even better.
He may be suffering from early stage kidney disease, or he may be too arthritic to get into his box (make sure there is no top on the box and the entrance is low, low low for him to step over....he may be ill. Instead of shirking your responsibility and commitment that you made to this animal when it was a cute kitten, take it to your vet for a senior blood work up and you may be surprised at what your cat needs to feel better.
If he meows at night because he is hungry, then keep his bowl full of food at all times, elderly cats need to eat when they feel like and they need more food during the winter months to stay warm even if indoors. He may also be feeling lost due to loss of hearing and smell, that happens to old cats sometimes....give him his own furry bed near his food and water and litter box and he should settle in for the night.
You aren't being fair to the cat you grew up with, you have to fulfill your obligation to your loving pet, it isn't a toy or a video that you can discard when you are done with it.
There may come a day when your cat is old and sick that you will have to put him down, but not until he is no longer healthy and is in pain......your inconvenience is beside the point. How would you like it if when you are an old lady, someone decides to dump you instead of taking care of you? Seriously, talk to your family and get their help, but if they don't you obviously are the more responsible one, what does it take to clean a litter box and put some food out, and check on the cat's health, a few dollars and a little of your time. Pet the cat and give it some attention so it will be happier and relax....
I can't believe I have to sell you on any of this, you know what is the right thing to do.
If you take your old cat to the shelter, they will euthanize it. They measure the euthanized animals in "tons" now every year because people regard their pets as disposable playthings and when they are no longer fun, or have health issues or you are bored with them they end up there and become someone else's problem. It is really a horrible thing to do...
...............................
|
