A
female
age
41-50,
*ehaadvice
writes:I had an emotional affair with a married man with 2 kids for the last year. i trapped in his emotional talks only. e said so many lies to me that "i swear on god that i love you so much" i used to discuss my all the problems with him so openly. he used to hear all very patiently. But every moment he tried to put some non veg jokes and tried to touch me whenever he got the chance. I used to push him away. For that he got very angry with me and used to say "that i love u so much, more than his life" and he got too "but u do this with me". I always reminded him that you are a married man ..it's wrong but he used to get very very angry with me on this. I always made it very clear that we will only have emotional bonding not much but he always found it so funny. Then one day he invited me to his home when his family was not there..then i refused to go. He got very upset, scolded me too that you only like talking to me nothing more . Now it has been 3 months he is not talking to me , avoiding me very badly. I m very upset due to this really missing all that good times..really need some counselling ..please help.
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affair, I love you, married man, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, RunsWithScissors  +, writes (3 February 2009):
The only way to get through this is to simply go through it. You are going to miss him, have pain, and it will be difficult...but be assured that each day, little by little, it will get easier. Your emotions got tied up in him and now you have to untie them, and that just takes time. Learn from this experience and in the future guard your heart. Your heart is the most precious thing you have so only give it away to those who are worthy and can offer their heart to you in return.Some things that may help you through this time is to take up a new hobby, take on a challenge and have a goal. Start working out, learn a new language, anything...just keep yourself busy and have something to occupy your mind and look forward to. There will be days when you'll think you won't want to attend the activity, etc. but do it anyway and you'll be glad you did. If you can get a job somewhere else that will help too. You have to fill this void and make new friends. You won't have the same level of friendship w/others at first...that takes time, but just work on it one day at a time. You may want to read some about co-dependent relationships, it may help in this situation. Just Google the term.
A
female
reader, nehaadvice +, writes (3 February 2009):
nehaadvice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your valuable suggestions .please help me at this stage of my life . i m really feeling very depressed and helpless sometimes.i m finding it very difficult to forget that chats with him.feeling very lonely ..he s working in same organisation.whenever i see him ,hear his voice nad loud laughs .i really get very upset.please help
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A
female
reader, nehaadvice +, writes (3 February 2009):
nehaadvice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks alot for your help..pls be in touch
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): ma ur cheating by him self its emotional blackmail. plz forget him ur beauty ful life ahead. plz visit any meditation phylosophycal centre u can get ans for ur problem. and try to meditate on breath. God will give u morethan u lost in ur life God bless u
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 February 2009):
 You were quite right not to get physical with this cad. You may miss him but at least you can hold your head up and get on with your life. Stay busy, and stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, loopylu33  +, writes (3 February 2009):
O dear... If what you say is true then it seems to me like he wanted his cake and to eat it to... he has a wife and kids to talk to and wanted the fun side with yourself... my opinion is your worth more than that... all women are... unless your prepared to be the other woman for sex and fun i would steer well clear from him...and focus your energy's on friends and family and men that want the total package. by you leaving him to it he will either realise what he has lost in you as a companion and come running back or leave you to it however either way you will then know where you stand... I would walk away from him and see this as one of life unfortunate learning curves and free yourself up to meet someone who's worth being upset over as the guy that is worth it wont make you feel this way... this will get easier... be strong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): I agree that maybe you need counselling. which is not a bad thing at all. But just seems you were at a vunlerable time, maybe even a bit lonely.
But you know deep down you might feel better knowing that u did not sleep with a married man. Unforunttely maybe he does care but otherwise you may have to consider the fact that if it was a mutual feeling, then he would have respected your wishes of not wanting sex.
Good luck with life, your'll find a brilliant man :) But just get some help or even a close friend to talk to . A caht with my girlfriends where we can "discuss" our problems... slag the blokes of always does us good :)
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