I cant get over what she has done in the past...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months and her past and what she has done haunts me and maked me want to throw up and call her a whore and leave her. I cant do this though the thought of not being with her hurts me and I know that I ...
A. 4 February 2011: Hey Brother, I feel you I really do. Really you have have pick, you can stay with her or leave her. I can tell you the feelings dont go away. Here is my post, I am still with the girl. We been together for almost 2 year now. http:/... (read in full...)
Should I try to get her into therapy because of her past?
Q. There is this girl I know and were not exactly boyfriend girlfriend but we sure have a connection and i love this person very much. Well I read her diary and it said at the ages of 9-10 she was molested every day and practically raped and it ...
A. 6 January 2011: Yes you should talk to her about seeking out help.
Also your post says you are 22-25... and the girl is 15. You would be adding to her problems not helping her if you attempted a relationship with her.... (read in full...)
Why does her past bug me so much!
Q. Hi I have posted a few items now and I am sure a number of you will recognise which ones when I write on.... this is another post to see if I can tap into your wisdom again. My girlfriend and I get ever closer and also ever closer to having o...
A. 29 November 2010: @Gabrielle Stoker
"Her sexual past means little, trust me."
OP, You don't have to listen to comments like that or even acknowledge them. The problem you are having, most women just can not understand. I learned to boldly ignore their advice... (read in full...)
Why does her past bug me so much!
Q. Hi I have posted a few items now and I am sure a number of you will recognise which ones when I write on.... this is another post to see if I can tap into your wisdom again. My girlfriend and I get ever closer and also ever closer to having o...
A. 29 November 2010: Media saya you should like real thin girls and large breasts. Not everyone does. A larger penis is only more visually appealing. since your lady knows what it feels like too be with different sizes she really knows what she wants and clearly she ... (read in full...)
Trying to cope with retroactive jealousy!
Q. I suffer from Retrospective Jealousy, I'd love to hear from anyone that has a similar condition that has "come to terms with it??" Rather than tell a story here are some points that hit the mark for me My partner and I lack of balance or...
A. 19 November 2010: "if you fall down a cliff, roll off a ravine and down a treacherous waterfall, but stumble into a beautiful valley full of lush vegetation, beautiful scenery, and family and friends that love you, then why waste time and energy cursing the trip that ... (read in full...)
Trying to cope with retroactive jealousy!
Q. I suffer from Retrospective Jealousy, I'd love to hear from anyone that has a similar condition that has "come to terms with it??" Rather than tell a story here are some points that hit the mark for me My partner and I lack of balance or...
A. 19 November 2010: Hey Friend,
I would love to share with you. please message me.
... (read in full...)
I cheated on my gf who cared deeply, I hurt her, I have such remorse, now what??
Q. *Sighs*...Here it goes. I am 20 years old and my girlfriend is 30 and we have been together for 2 years. She is from another country and I moved there to be with her. I became confused and just obsessively negative about the relationship upo...
A. 2 October 2010: My girlfriend has cheated on me. Unlike you, she was not brave enough to admit it to me. I found out when i was helping her migrate her email over to my domain. I saw the email convo and time stamp that indicated that it happened when we were ... (read in full...)
I'll never be the "wild ride" she had with others!
Q. I just can't get over my girlfriends past. It's not that I have an issue with the fact she's had sexual partners before me, or even that she had great sex with them. It's the fact that those relationships were almost purely sexual, and the sex was ...
A. 29 September 2010: I dont normally post publicly much anymore but.... "We do a lot of that stuff too, but she sees me as the best LOVE she ever had, and perhaps not the best SEX. I've told her that I know I am the best lover she's ever had and she's convinced me of ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 1 September 2010: @ Miamine
Thanks. The 'rape' analogy I use to portray just that.
What good does attacking the victim here do?
My opinion is so strong because it is something I struggle with everyday. ... (read in full...)
Retroactive jealousy regarding my wife! How do I deal with it?
Q. Hi, I need to ask you all about my wife. She has a very sexually chequered past that haunts me, but to be honest, at other times turns me on too. What I need to know is how to deal with it and get over it. She is a beautiful woman, 30yrs old ...
A. 30 August 2010: Yos,
"At the article suggests, you need to teach yourself to not focus on the images when they appear, to break the obsessive cycle."
What if you can not break this awful cycle? You can sometimes go a months without thinking about it and bei... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 17 August 2010: @Yos
I was talking from a personal exp. My case is one of the more extreame ones.
@those who asking about the rape comparison.
Everyone has something that is intolerable to them. This could be it for them. The bad past.
My case, h... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 10 August 2010: @ Miamine,
I know we have gone over this before privately, but just in-case there are others who also are strong women who are looking out for other women.
"they become no longer worthy of respect...."
Yes, So what? You are 100% righ... (read in full...)
Tortured with the thought of my wife's sexual past
Q. I am dealing with the common problem of having married a woman who had a sordid (my opinion) past. By age 24 she had over 35 sexual partners varying from a 2 year relationship to blow jobs in a club parking lot with strangers. I am conservative by ...
A. 6 July 2010: Hey Friend, Yeah, 35 is a really big number. She did do lots of crazy things in her life. When you look back on it, the first thoughts are 'wow, what a slut! Why in the HELL do I want to be with her!!' Trust me I know that feeling way to w... (read in full...)
I can't let go of her past
Q. well ive been married for 2 years and everything seems typical , but i have a problem i cant let go of , my wife told me she has had over 50 one night stands ! it bothers me sometime i feel like a sucker , she also has had three ways with guys and ...
A. 26 April 2010: The past does matter. Yos and TTM and right. There really are only two option here friend. As for me, I been dealing with for almost a year now. I wish I could tell you it gets better magically. I wish I could tell you there is some magical way... (read in full...)
She had sex with 3 of my friends and I can't get past it!
Q. Hey everyone, I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now, but recently I started feeling differently due to some issues with her past. Basically without jumping into too much detail she had sex with three of my friends,one which she "dat...
A. 24 February 2010: They dont know how you feel. you are angry and upset. You feel so betrayed and destroyed. How you can you be dating such a slut right? I know it hard, really hard. But you have to choose if you can deal with her past or not. I am still in si... (read in full...)
Can't handle girlfriend's sexual past!
Q. Alright. So I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months. She's wonderful. I believe I'm in love with her. I'm 25, she's 21. At the beginning of our dating, I asked her how many guys she had been with. The number she told me shocked me. She said, and ...
A. 1 February 2010: datachild,
I understand your pain, I really do. My girlfriends past is actually worst then yours gf. Mine had lots of threesomes (two guys) with her ex, there wasnt any homosexual sex. It was all as she puts it 'on her'. And agreed to a gangba... (read in full...)
My wife told me she was a virgin, but she was no where near it.
Q. Hello, I have been reading this forum for a while now. My wife and I were High School Sweathearts. We courted for a couple of years, she became pregnant and we were married soon after our first child was born. I was in my third year of college ...
A. 11 December 2009: Does she wish she did do those things and lied to you? Yes
that should have read
Does she wish she did NOT do those things and hadn't lied to you? Yes... (read in full...)
He doesn't "fit" me properly!!!
Q. I have just started having sex with my boyfriend... three times and our parts don't fit together during sex. I cannot fill him during sex. I am totally baffled... maybe he is too small for me? Hence we both cannot climax. Are there ways to make ...
A. 8 December 2009: Every boy fits in every girl. Okay well 90% of the time.
If you both are new to sex you only thing he does and only thinks the same.
Compaired to toy for you and his hand for him, it will never be as large or as tight.
Try doggie. It mak... (read in full...)
My wife told me she was a virgin, but she was no where near it.
Q. Hello, I have been reading this forum for a while now. My wife and I were High School Sweathearts. We courted for a couple of years, she became pregnant and we were married soon after our first child was born. I was in my third year of college ...
A. 8 December 2009: You are jealous that she has more partners then you. You keep talking about how you never been with anyone eles but her.
Will cheating on her really make you feel better? No.
Can she change being a slut? No
Does she wish she did do ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 29 October 2009: She has lied to me about some stuff from the past. She lied about a lot of stuff early in our relationship. We told each other no lies. She knew I had trust problems....
I have ended it with her.
Thank you everyone.
TTM most of all thank... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 26 October 2009: A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009)
First:
I did get jealous when she used to go out with her single older male friend. When I first met this man, my girlfriend and I were not dating we were just friends. I did little to hide m... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 25 October 2009: @A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009)
I am not jealous of her past lovers. I am not jealous of what she has done.
I am sickened by it. I find it disgusting. ... (read in full...)
Could this be the end?
Q. Hey people I have yet another question that I have no idea how to answer myself. I apologize for any typo's in this question but i just got a new netbook from school and the keybord takes some getting used to. I am 15 and Marry (not real name) is 14 ...
A. 23 October 2009: Hey SFL, When I was your age I had a very similar thing going on in my life. First off, Let me tell you something I have learned form experience. At your age you can not run away with someone. It's just insane. You want to be adult so... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 22 October 2009: @Vectra "A good chance that one or more might have been abusive or had std's or made her pregnant etc." I force her to get tested. Well I asked and she has. And I am going to make her again since its been a few months and sometimes it take... (read in full...)
Venus vs Mars
Q. y do girls who have a bad past get called a slut and a guy called a player? and y when a girl is known for sleepin around and finds a good guy he is told to hang on to her no matter her past...but when a guy has a past of cheatin girls are normally ...
A. 22 October 2009: I agree with this very much.
I haven't been overly promiscuous in my life. I mean I had a few one night stands, a few short term relationships and a few long term ones and dabble a bit in a poly circle...
Okay so maybe I done a little more some... (read in full...)
Her fancy dress nights from the past are getting me down.
Q. Hi, I'm in a loving relationship with a wonderful girl and have been for almost a year. However I have an issue. I can't get over the fact that when she was single she used to love dressing up on fancy dress nights and Halloween etc. Obviou...
A. 21 October 2009: This about this way: Look at the way she is dressed. It's all for you. The other guys (and girls) can sit there and ogle your girl. Yet she is on your arm. They way they all look at her and want her, yet she is only pleasing you. How many o... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had a one night stand with a professional athelte before we met.
Q. My girlfriend recently told me that a few months before we met she had a one night stand with a famous professional ball player. She wanted to be open and I think that is a great thing. We have a great relationship, we are madly in love and its ...
A. 21 October 2009: Hey,
There is a lot worst thing she could have done. If you look at the 'her past' tags here you will see you are really not alone.
My girlfriend has done something far far far worst. In fact what she done might be one of the worst thing that... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 20 October 2009: I have finally come to my final thoughts. I spent basiclly last 2 weeks distance myself from her past and the last week distancing myself from her.
I was able to come to term with that yes this will bother me. And yes I love my girlfrie... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so insecure about my girlfriend's bisexual past?
Q. I've known my girlfriend for almost 16 years. We've dated off an on during that time. She comes from a troubled background and in her teens and (during the time she knew me up until now) she was cheating on somebody (guy or girl). We ne...
A. 15 October 2009: Hey Friend,
You have something many of us suffer from. Its called 'Retroactive Jealously'. You are jealous of her people that she was with before you.
Here is some advice people have given me.
http://www.dearcu... (read in full...)
Would you consider her a slut?
Q. Would you consider her a slut? She has slept with 6 different guys Not including me..So Thats 7... Fron the age of 15- to almost 18 in a few months. One was a serious relationship but cheated on him with two different people includding a si...
A. 5 October 2009: Yes. That is slutty of her. But it doesn't matter if it is sluttly of her, all that really matters is how you feel about it. ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 3 October 2009: @ A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009) Yes, no one is normal when it comes to sexual craving and desires. Lets us me as an example: Almost all (cept for now 2 girls) that have I been in a long term relationship with have call... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 30 September 2009: Thank you Everyone.
I might love her, but its not enough. We have a camping trip be have been planing for months now.
These past 6 months with her have been great, for the most part. But maybe be just are not right for each other. Like Dav... (read in full...)
G/f had been in a MMF threesome..how do I compete with that?
Q. Found out that in her past my girlfriend had been in a MMF threesome and thought it was pretty hot. Makes me uncomfortable. I mean, how could I EVER compete with that? (that's a rhetorical question). I want to believe that all the best sexual ...
A. 17 September 2009: Okay. So your kind in the same boat as me just less. She did it a few times, my gf and her ex did it a lot... and a lot more then just a threesome.
SO how do you compete with that? You dont. It took me a little while to figure that out too. Yo... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 11 September 2009: When my girlfriend and I had our first date, we went out to dinner. At the resturant, we had dinner, desert and coffee. Desert and coffee lasted for a long time. We sat there and talked the whole night away. Our first date lasted 6 hours. I asked ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 10 September 2009: I talked to her about regeit and how you can hate the part of you did something so bad but still love yourself. It took over 2 hours of talking and crying and knowing that if we didnt find a solution it was over. I learned she really put up a ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 9 September 2009: She says the same thing as your wife. That she doesnt want to feel bad about it. There there is nothing she can do about it now.
I konw its wrong but a huge part of me wants her to feel as awful about her past as I do. I dont want her to be sa... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 9 September 2009: I hope i get some advice before it happens today. Sep 9. 5pm est
I have talked to my gf about her past. I told her that I need to understand why i feel the way I do about her past, that I need her to understand that I think what she did was ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 3 September 2009: TTM,
EXACTLY
Honestly, HONESTLY... If i knew when I met her that she did threesomes and had done a gangbang with strangers, I would have NOT dated her. I would have looked at her said wow she hot and smart but I am looking for a nice girl,... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 2 September 2009: TTM and Gina you both bring up very good vaild points. I am starting to see that its not something that one day I will wake up poof, i wont care anymore.
It just seems like a lot I have to deal with to be with someone. At some points I really d... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 1 September 2009: Hey TTM,
You always know just what to say and how to say it. The way you explain things always helps. It makes me a bit better. I know I'm not as good as replying to your advice as you are at giving it, but thank you. Thank you so much.
... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 28 August 2009: Gina, But she doesn't regret it. That is part of the problem. ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 28 August 2009: iydm,
It still bothers me that she would do such a thing. I find it so awful and disgusting. I'm not sure I can ever look at her the same way again.
Dont worry about the size of your post, you had a lot to say.
She could have said n... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 21 August 2009: @ jj2night
Your very wrong. I am very dominate. This is the first time that I havent been as dominating. I have pretty bad sexual past too. Not as bad as hers but I was involved in a form of bdsm that involves 'slave girls'.
She is less... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 21 August 2009: Gina,
Thank you for you words of encouragement. I can not see my life without her. I really hope you are right and that I have the power to leave her past in the past. She has been great in helping me.
The thing that got me was the gangbang... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 20 August 2009: I am away on a bussiness trip. When I lay in hotel bed and close my eyes, all i can see is the things she has done. I feel like I havent really slept at all in two days.
This is just so awful. I dont know anymore and it kills me. I want to ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 16 August 2009: *sigh*
So I have a follow up question.
How do I break up with her without hurtting her feeling? I don't want her to think she is a bad person or anything. I just cant handle it anymore. ... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 15 August 2009: @troubledtoomuch
To you first. Thank you so much for replying to my message and giving your input. I see you give out some of the best advice and really think highly of what you have to say.
I guess it is different, every guy I ask says the... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 13 August 2009: Male 25,
Thank you. That is the best answer I have gotten so far. It does help. I will keep going keep trying. The more I talk about it and explore my feelings, the more I am able to dull the feelings of disgust out.
I hate her past so... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 10 August 2009: @rhythmandblues2
Yes, she got professional help. And she made him do the same, but didn't press charges against him. She actually ended up Eloping and marrying him. They were going to have a real wedding for the family but she broke it off 2 we... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 10 August 2009: " If you are sickened by it all then ask yourself, why is it because it makes her seem cheap and therefore unattractive, are you confsed because her present self is so nice and her past self is so horrible."
I think that has a lot to do with it.... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 10 August 2009: @LazyGuy Thanks. I want to be with her, it just this one thing that hangs me up. Its the one that gets to me. Everything else about is really great. We spent more time together then most people that have dated for a year or so. @rhythmandbl... (read in full...)
How to get over her promicuous past including threesomes and gangbangs?
Q. Hey, I am seeing a girl, I been with her for over three months now. We have a really good relationship, even though its only three months in, we are really good together and spend more time together then either one of us has with former lovers. ...
A. 10 August 2009: She wouldnt ever go for a threesome with another girl. She only wanted to do it with other guys.
... (read in full...)
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