A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now, but recently I started feeling differently due to some issues with her past. Basically without jumping into too much detail she had sex with three of my friends,one which she "dated" and the other two were basically revenge sex when they broke up. A few months after this her and I were formally introduced and we hit it off. I knew of two of the guys and didn't really mind, but no one informed me of the third guy she slept with until after we started dating...Now we live together, and she tells me frequently that she has never felt this way about any other guy and she talks about marriage and all that. I'm 21, she's 23 and now quite frankly just wanna have sex with a bunch of random girls. I don't want to have sex with her anymore because it just disgusts me thinking about the other guys. I don't want to feel like this but I can't help it. Any help is appreciated, Thanks a lot!!!
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broke up, her past, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): OKAY let me start by saying the basic if she says she loves you she needs to show it and when she shows you she loves you and give you her all and commit to being in a relationship with you then maybe she does,but if she had sex with 3 of your "friends" don't you think that is alot i don't blame you if you want other girls other then her because who wouldn't on the other hand i think that everyone is accountable for there actions and he/she knows what he/she is doing honestly i would get rid of her because if she had sex with 3 of your "friends" what makes you think she woun't do it again
A
male
reader, Pyroshadow +, writes (24 February 2010):
They dont know how you feel. you are angry and upset. You feel so betrayed and destroyed. How you can you be dating such a slut right?I know it hard, really hard. But you have to choose if you can deal with her past or not. I am still in similar boat as you, but my ship is sinking and i dont think its gona last. I think all we had done is hurt each more.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): People are not engineered to be very happy about their partners having slept with their friends or family members. Especially men. What you feel makes perfect sense even though it's such a big problem.
You need to get over this, and soon, if you want the relationship to work. Don't tell yourself that you will "just get over it in the future" because it won't happen like that. If you can't get over it soon and you really wanna play around, then maybe you break things off with her and just go play around.
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A
female
reader, preciouss  +, writes (24 February 2010):
when you fall in love with her you know about this & you insisted to be in a relationship with cos you love her so l don't see why you having problems with this now
or you didn't have any problem with that before cos you want to sleep with now you got whath you wanted thas why you don't want have sex with her cos you had enough of her thats why you want to move forward to the next avaliable girl
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A
male
reader, James-Thomas +, writes (24 February 2010):
I think you have to decide whether or not this girl is important enough to you to want to try to have a long term relationship with her.
Everyone messes up in a relationship once in a while, we are all human after all.
Try not to let the sex be a deciding factor in whether or not you stay together.
If you feel strongly about being with her, then try your best to get past this and be happy again with her.
If you dont have strong feelings for her, then what she did with other guys didnt matter anyway because your relationship wasn't that strong to begin with.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 February 2010):
Well her past is her past, and usually I don't agree w/ someone being upset over these types of things, but I would probably feel the same way if I found out that I had a boyfriend that had slept with 3 of my friends. Really, all of the info about her past experiences are her business but I don't think you can really help but feel the way you do.
So you basically have two options, you can tell yourself it's the past and you're happy together and possibly see a future together. Or you can dump her because you can't get past it and hopefully she won't have revenge sex with a few more of your friends.
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