A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:y do girls who have a bad past get called a slut and a guy called a player? and y when a girl is known for sleepin around and finds a good guy he is told to hang on to her no matter her past...but when a guy has a past of cheatin girls are normally told to avoid a situation with him...im confused help!
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male
reader, Pyroshadow +, writes (22 October 2009):
I agree with this very much.
I haven't been overly promiscuous in my life. I mean I had a few one night stands, a few short term relationships and a few long term ones and dabble a bit in a poly circle...
Okay so maybe I done a little more some guys but not too bad. And yeah, I am a guy but I have been called a slut before.... But I still dont think I was that bad.
My girlfriend has done some very awful things in her past. Very very bad (sex with an unknown amount of strangers while blindfolded is the worst).
I am a 'good' guy. I know how to treat a woman, am respectful blah blah blah. So she really likes me and I really like her.
I think her past is awful but I am just supposed 'man' up and deal with it? When if she though my past was awful everyone would be telling her to leave me.
This is such crap. It should be seen as equal guildline for both sexes.
@quiet-echo
"When a woman cheats it is because she wants to and the fact that her relationship is lacking something is just the permission she gives herself. Men give themselves permission to sooner than women do is my guess which would explain the supposedly higher percentage of male infidelity than female."
I have to disagree. I think all cheating is a lack of something in the relationship. When women cheat its because they dont feel sexual desired by their parnter. Yes I will give you that.
When men cheat its for the same reason. Women try to hold the power in the relationship by controling sex or using sex as their tool to get what they want.
Men by nature are told to spread their seed often. In fact, if a man doesnt spread his seed, his body will naturally release it in his sleep. When a man feels sexually insecure, he when he is most likely to cheat. He will find another woman (or man) who finds something about him sexually appealing and engage in a sexual relationship with that person.
This happens more in men because many modern women try so hard to hold power and control over their man with sex. Women that do this are more likely to have men cheat on them. Sadly women are finding that this a way to get what they want and have been using it more and more with just leads their partner to cheat.
So really it is the same for both sexes in the case of cheating.
@ A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009)
I agree with this. Many men (including myself) see themselves as protectors. As the role of the protector you want to be able to take care of defend what ever it is that you are looking after.
Men value their panthers body. Now I'm not saying that men want their women all to be 5ft, 5in 120lb. I dont mean body as in physical appearance. When a I say body I mean her actually body. A woman who is very promiscuous has been used more. It could be looked at that she doest value her body or maybe her body is more damage or less value. I can't tell you what one it is.
I am in a contstant struggle with my girlfriend because of what she has done. I want to take care of her and love her but the things she had done are just so awful that I dont know if I can be with her.
A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (22 October 2009):
 If a woman cheats on a guy, it most likely is not just for sex but for some kind of emotional connection with the other person and the lack of that from her boyfriend/husband. But, when a guy cheats it is usually just for sex, period. I'm not saying that is always the case, but it usually is. So when we see a woman who has cheated/played around alot society sees her as not the norm and therefor must be damaged in some way. She is labelled a slut. Men when they play around alot are not labelled as such because they are withtin the norm of there behavior. Sex,sex,sex. Again, this is a generalization and I don't like it either. Not all guys are pigs and not all women are angels.:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): It's called a double standard. Girls are somehow seen as flowers that need to be protected and are expected to act that way. Personally I believe that whether you are a guy or a girl you should try to do things right your whole life. I don't believe just because you are young and in highschool or college that you are allowed to be as stupid and crazy as possible. In my opinion, if there is a guy and a girl who have both played around with too many people to count by the time they are 18, then they are both slutty and need a reality check.
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