He's Just not that into me . . . and we're married! What should I do?
Q. My husband has made it clear that he's just not that into me anymore. What should I do? Should I get a separation or more drastically, ask for a divorce? I still love him and want to work out our problems, but I'm at the end of my rope and don't k...
A. 17 February 2009: Sounds promising - keep it up - he likely felt that you were not connecting with each other enough. best of luck to you and keep working at it to build love - it is a daily effort and well worth it.... (read in full...)
Is it time to move on after almost 20 years together?
Q. I feel like I'm the only one in this situation, but I know with all the people out there, I can't be. I've known my husband since we were 12 years old. We had the same circle of friends, and eventually became high school sweethearts. We'...
A. 12 February 2009: I am sorry to hear this and am unsure how much of the lack of sex is because of his other experience. Do you think he is gay or bi, and is getting something on the side? If not, then try building on your love life - telling each other you love ... (read in full...)
Why is he contacting me when he asked for space?
Q. So my ex and I got into an fight where the conclusion was that space was needed. It has been a lil over 2 weeks now and I have not initiated any form of contact, but he has (texts, random e-mails, twitter messages). I reply to those in a very short ...
A. 6 February 2009: Looks like you have been with him long enough to have determined that you want a committed relationship - now you have to decide if you are going to give him that ultimatum. If you only will except a monigoimus committed relationship - tell him ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal sex but my fiance says its disgusting
Q. I have been with my fiancee for just over two years and we are getting married soon. Everything is fine between us, we have a great sex life and we are not afraid to try new things to add some spice to the bedroom. However, one thing I would like to ...
A. 6 February 2009: I tried it once, and my girlfriend wanted to - it was her idea actually. And the result was that she did not like it, and we stopped pretty quick. Never tried it again. She said it felt like going to the bathroom. Most women do not like it, and ... (read in full...)
He's Just not that into me . . . and we're married! What should I do?
Q. My husband has made it clear that he's just not that into me anymore. What should I do? Should I get a separation or more drastically, ask for a divorce? I still love him and want to work out our problems, but I'm at the end of my rope and don't k...
A. 30 January 2009: All I can say is that people need to put their spouse 1st - I would suggest you check out the book - Marriage fitness. You both need to work to build love. Remember how you both felt when you first fell in love - you both need to want to recapture ... (read in full...)
Bad gag reflex but my b/f wants oral sex
Q. So I'm really new at this dating thing, never really had an official boyfriend until now. I am 20 and he is 19. He was surprised when I told him I am a virgin, and that I've never been kissed. Well he says I can kiss pretty good now, but kissing...
A. 30 January 2009: Dont be in a rush - this will not be the guy you marry and the one you marry will be very upset with the way you were pressured into it - and also, after you do it - you will be hurt, and it may kill your self esteem - take your time - if he is ... (read in full...)
My g/f never wants sex now
Q. im a 21 yr old guy im pretty good looking. ive been with my girlfriend for 3 years. the first 9 months our sex lives for great. we would have sex at least once or twice a day. my girlfriend is 22 yr old. we had a baby about a year in a half ago. my ...
A. 30 January 2009: Not sure if there is a hormone issue or not - for now assuming that she does not have that problem, she likely could use help with the other tasks of the day, and romancing here - just a nice kiss any time, etc - will help. Slowly getting her in the ... (read in full...)
I don't want to give blowjobs but it seems like a problem.
Q. Every time I make out with a guy they always go down on me or should I say oral sex but I feel bad because they lay back expecting me to do the same thing to them which I can never do because it seems disgusting!!! I know it's unfair for them but I ...
A. 29 January 2009: you should never be pressured into doing that - when you find the right person, things will change - with time and love - you will likly change your mind - dont be in a rush... (read in full...)
Ejaculation problems... is it me?
Q. I have been with my man for 3 years the sex has been great but recently I have noticed that he has not been able to ejaculate while have intercourse. He will ejaculate while we are having oral sex, is there something wrong with me? For some reason ...
A. 29 January 2009: Sounds like it could be emotional on his part - talking is best. I have been there - and it could be (I dont know) an intimacy problem. Or just being tired or not being able to relax and take time. Do not blame yourself - you need to be ... (read in full...)
I never want to fall in love again!
Q. I never want to fall in love again! My first boyfriend and love broke up with me after 2 years. He had issues with my past. I don't know how many times I've typed this. But this was just the final straw. In the past I had a friend with bene...
A. 29 January 2009: He is very imature and insecure, and likely he is not the one for you long term. Unfortunately since you slept with him there is a physical bond with him that has become emotional - he does not sound like a guy that you can trust and that is good ... (read in full...)
Do women tell the truth about their sexual past?
Q. Do women tell the truth about their sexual past... do they feel men would leave them if they told the truth? be honest and men your thoughts also please. thanks...
A. 29 January 2009: The answer unfortunately is often that they both LIE - which is to protect them selves and what they THINK that the other wants to hear ===== This was a DISASTER for me, so I suggest that you talk if you must but maturely readdress the discussion ... (read in full...)
What should I do so that he doesn't leave because of my sexual past?
Q. my boyfriend of 4 years and i have been constantly fighting about my past sexual relationships, which unfortunately he knows the details about my exes. he keeps saying he will leave because i expect him to live and love a person like me, who gave...
A. 29 January 2009: Dont fight about it - he needs to either understand how you felt and grow up - or he is not worth being with. Either he can come around to understanding that you need to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince, or he is simply another toad.... (read in full...)
Love to hear about the past!
Q. Hi There, This is the first time I have done this sort of thing so here goes. I want to know if anybody else feels the same way I do about my wife's sexual past. I have known her since we were in high school. We dated a bit in high school and ...
A. 29 January 2009: I think it sounds rather unhealthy emotionally - it places you in a subordinate position. I would rather BE the knight in shining armor - the best, biggest, lover for her - so I cant relate. As others have said - if she is into it as well then ... (read in full...)
Men: why do you ask about a woman's past if you're just going to judge her for it?
Q. Men: Why do you ask about a woman's sexual past if you are going to (intentionally or otherwise) judge her for it and hold it against her? ...even when she has never been unfaithful, she has always been honest with you, she is with you and doesn't ...
A. 27 January 2009: Passionately numb - I have had similar problems. I think there are a couple things that may help - talk it out to make sure you understand her intent - and feelings in the matter. Do not go into details - it is a bottomless pit that will evoke ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so insecure about all of this?
Q. Okay this is my first question on this site and its kind of a simple question but requires a lot of background. So here goes: About 5 and a half years ago I started dating this guy. We were both real young at the time and he is my best friends ...
A. 27 January 2009: He needs to help you too - he should not mention the exs, and he should tell you how much better everything is with you - to be reassuring to you... (read in full...)
The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up
Q. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...
A. 26 January 2009: As a guy I am offended by this behavior - it gives the nice guys less of a chance to prove you wrong. I agree that there are "cherry popper" bastards out there - I would like to kick their asses - but they look for innocent girls to pray on. It is ... (read in full...)
I need to block his past out of my head...
Q. I'm in a loving relationship with an amazing man. We're having a baby in August and we're really excited and happy. The problem is that his past keeps interfering. A few months before we met he slept with a girl in his close group of friends...
A. 26 January 2009: I think you have quite normal concerns, and he seems willing to abide by them - let him - do not fell guilty when he wants to take appropriate action to make you feel at ease. I do not think you have unreasonable concerns here - and I think it is ... (read in full...)
A little advice from guys out there??
Q. A little advice from other guys out there... how can a woman ultimately spice up things in the bedroom? I know every man is differant, but how would like your wife or girlfriend to spice it up? My husband doesn't share his fantasies with me, so I'm ...
A. 23 January 2009: Start with love and then move to sex - an intimacy interview of each of you would reveal that. Just pick a couple hrs 1 night and ask him what he would like if he could have anything he wanted - and go thru different topics like Vacations, ... (read in full...)
Is having "break up sex" a good thing?
Q. Recently me and my gf broke up, but we had breakup sex. Is that bad/weird? :S...
A. 23 January 2009: Sounds like grudge sex to me - if you were both truely angry and really did not want to see each other again - then there was no love in the act ---- if that is the case, though it does happen - it is unhealthy for you mentally I am sure ... (read in full...)
I do not desire my husband like I desire this other man!
Q. I am married and fell in love with a married man. I started the process to end my marriage. I was not miserable in my marriage just bored and my husband and I have very little in common and we do not see each other much because we have been wor...
A. 22 January 2009: If you were a painter, would you spend all of your time looking for the one perfect subject to paint or would you spend most of your time learning how to paint? You have a husband - build love with him. There is a book called Marriage ... (read in full...)
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