A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am married and fell in love with a married man. I started the process to end my marriage. I was not miserable in my marriage just bored and my husband and I have very little in common and we do not see each other much because we have been working opposite shift for 6 years.My husband and my lovers wife know that we are in love however they both want to save the marriages. I do not know what exactly is going on at his house he said that we needed to back off for a little while until things cooled down because his wife was keeping track of the phone calls.I have not spoken to him in one week. I am miserable.I do not want to go to work, i cry all the time and i am finding it hard to give my family the attention they need right now.My problem is that my husband took a 2 week vacation and the whole time he has been comforting me while i cry over another man. I feel so bad for my husband because I know it is killing him inside. But he refuses to leave my side and I am glad he is here for me.I know that I love my husband, he has been in my life for 15 years but I do not want to do things for him like I want to do for my lover. For example cook, clean rub his back, do nothing together. I do not desire my husband like I desire this other man.I am so confused, what does this all mean?
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male
reader, LOSTONEla +, writes (22 January 2009):
If you were a painter, would you spend all of your time looking for the one perfect subject to paint or would you spend most of your time learning how to paint? You have a husband - build love with him. There is a book called Marriage fitness which is great for building love back into your relationship, Stop seeing the other man - but think about what attracted you to your husband in the first place. You can rekindle that love if you forget about your problems and follow that book. The ideas are simple - put your spouse first, give love, share some interests together, etc. good luck - I hope you do not do something you regret
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): Well firstly, I'd like to make it clear that I do not agree with this at all. You're only thinking of yourself and not thinking of how much you're hurting your "lovers" poor wife!
You could be completely tearing apart a family, and you're sat there whining about how -you- feel.
You're also deeply hurting your husband. It's obvious he loves you, and wants you to be happy, otherwise he would've given you the slap you deserve.
With that said, all I can say is wait until you get in contact with your "lover". If he is leaving his wife, have at it. But if he wishes to stay with her, I suggest you leave well alone.
Finally, I'd like to say that it's women like you that ended up making me lose my daddy. And I think you need to think about how your selfish actions make the people around you feel. You're not the only person on the planet.
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