A
male
age
41-50,
*ris_helpme
writes:Recently me and my gf broke up, but we had breakup sex. Is that bad/weird? :S
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male
reader, kris_helpme +, writes (23 January 2009):
kris_helpme is verified as being by the original poster of the question that helped a lot. but u brought up a good point, i dont think there was any love, just for the sake of it. and yeah i think it affected me mentally cause i cant stop thinking about her and when i see her at school i get depressed and cant go near her. is there something i can say to her to start talking?
A
male
reader, LOSTONEla  +, writes (23 January 2009):
Sounds like grudge sex to me - if you were both truely angry and really did not want to see each other again - then there was no love in the act ---- if that is the case, though it does happen - it is unhealthy for you mentally I am sure your next would not think it is moral either. I am not judging you - I just know people that have done this - even when getting married. He F$%# ed her while she was too drunk to care - he was mad at her for getting drunk - and she thought grudge sex was funny. Pretty sick if you ask me. So I think the answer is with you - was love still in your heart - then deep down you were likly hoping that this was not the end.
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A
male
reader, kris_helpme +, writes (23 January 2009):
kris_helpme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe thinks i only want her cause of the sex, so she doesnt want get back together wiht me. eveyrtime i talk to her calmly she explodes, even after that i stay calm. but the fight was basically about me not wearing a condom and lying..but i clearly told her i didnt and she should have been able to tell so its her stupid fault. but other stuff were involved in the fight too, shes just being stupid
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Ever heard of people having "angry sex?" Its when people while fighting end up havng sex. Somewhere along the line people get caught up in the passion of the moment and end up having sex.(Sex is a great way to relieve built up stress and tension) For some this is "make up" sex and in some cases "break up" sex.
I kinda feel like you guys may have been hoping the sex would have killed tensions and you guys would have made up, but it just didn't work out that way.
6 days is still early days after a huge fight. Have you tried talking to her at all calmly?
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A
male
reader, kris_helpme +, writes (23 January 2009):
kris_helpme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks that really helped, :)but we had a huuuge fight, i called her a cunt and she was swearing at me and slapped me. so basically we were really mad at eachother but we ended up having breakup sex? i think its weird... and i cant stop thinking about her (its been 6 days), and i dont masturbate either, but i constantly think about her.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (23 January 2009):
You know when I broke up with my long term boyfriend of 4 years, the first thing he asked was break up sex. Now I flat out said no. Now our break up was a calm one, so he still must have felt the love we once shared, maybe in hopes that afterwards I might have changed my mind.For some people it is not strange at all as people who break up, especially under civil circumstances, still feel like the other person is their partner. I mean you guys were close and had had sex with eachother before. Attraction was obiously not the reason you guys broke up. Sometimes it might be that last ditch effort to find out if the relationship is really dead. Either way its not weird. I wouldn't make a habit of it though.
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