A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiancee for just over two years and we are getting married soon. Everything is fine between us, we have a great sex life and we are not afraid to try new things to add some spice to the bedroom. However, one thing I would like to try with my fiancee is anal sex but I cannot seem to bring her round to the idea and I am always met with a flat out 'No'. She also says that it is a disgusting thing to do and why would I want to do that to her? I have tried to explain that if she didn't like it then I would stop straight away. Still a no. Do you think she is right and I am being selfish or do you think she should at least give it a try?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): I don't think you have the right to pressure her at all. It is her body and she has the right to decide what she does with it and what goes in it. It is absolutely wrong for you to try to talk her into it or manipulate her. She will only end up resenting you.
If it's such a big problem that you are reconsidering your engagement, then just break up with her for her sake. She needs a man who will be understanding and accepting of her needs.
I honestly don't believe that you're ready to get married with your attitude. You're more concerned about your own penis than how your fiancee is feeling. She said no. Let it go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): You Really should reconsider marriage with your fiance. If you're the type to go all kinky, and she likes vanilla (mixed with love, passion, seduction) then I see BIG problems, and possible affairs. She wants to look forward to it, but with you, she might start resenting/avoiding sex.It's your life, is she the woman for you?
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (6 February 2009):
if she says no then that's the final answer. you have to stop pressuring her and nagging her to have anal sex. she does NOT WANT to have anal sex! that's it! there is nothing you can do to make her change her mind.
sure some women enjoy it, but it's usually very painful. after all things are not supposed to go up there! so no is no.
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A
female
reader, triplemock  +, writes (6 February 2009):
I don't want to!!! Don't try to change a person. Too many posts suggest doing just that! That should be ALL she has to say if you love her, and if you have to, she's not for you. It seems to be mostly the men with the answers on how to make her, or reboot her, talk her into it.....The real ques. is would YOU want it done that way to you?!!! No offense to my gay freinds!!LOL But really if you have to talk someone into something like that your pretty much trying to REBOOT the way that person thinks or feels about something to suit yourself!! Is that fair in love? Or do you except your partner the way they are? HMMMMMMMM??? Oh and as far as it not being disgusting, the person who said that needs more gay freinds!!! Go find what their talking about!! Considering what bodily function it's used for, why do heterosexual men even CONSIDER it? I think I'll post that ques.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): Don't follow male anonymous advice. Maybe she didn't want to try anal sex with you annoymous because she didn't like it with her ex? The fact you said you leave her if she didn't have anal sex with her, proves what lack of respect you have for your g/f. If I was her, your be out the door with that threat.
OP, some women do like anal sex but a lot don't. Sounds to me she dosen't. So let it go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): If anal is something she doesn't want to do than that's her call.
She shouldn't call it disgusting though because millions of couples practice it everyday and and enjoy it and to call it disgusting is an insult to them, you should explain that to her, might help ;)
My GF wasn't big on anal as she had done it before and didnt like it, so i basically told her look you've done it before your doing it with me bottom line or im out!
On our 3rd time she actually started to relax and enjoyed it, a little, and we did it for 30 minutes, bareback and i came inside her, its not that it was so amazing just more of an amazing experience and it went sooooo well, we were like porn stars and were both proud of how well we performed afterwards lol :D!
Don't pressure her into it, but explain to her its not a taboo and its not dirty and respectable couples do it all the time, proffesionals like doctors, teachers, politicians all do it!
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A
female
reader, triplemock +, writes (6 February 2009):
People!!!!!!!! the medical aspect!! Has the world gone nuts? Do you have any idea the problems she may have later down the road from your request? Yeah we can push babies from there BUT hello!!! Even that is an exit. I don't think humans should request ANYTHING sexual that they could'nt handle themselves!!TELL her this.........you first. You handle just as much as she,(FIRST) when she see's you handled it just fine she will feel obligated to let you try!!LOVE her? Do her exactly the way you want to be done. NOOOO this is not a scary or disgusting idea!!!!U beleive that? U FIRST!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 February 2009):
 No means no, Buddy.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (6 February 2009):
 I think you are being very selfish and disrespectful and should drop the subject right now and never bring it up again. She has given you a flat out no and that she thinks it is disgusting. How would you like it if she kept pressuring you to let her shove a dildo up your ass? Hmmm? Although there are some women who do like anal, the vast majority do not. I, personally, find it to be an incredibley awful experience. It is unconfortable and even painful and certainly dangerous as damage can easily be done to the anus.. The anus is a one way street. Poop goes out, nothing should go in! Have a little respect for your fiancee and drop it.
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A
male
reader, LOSTONEla +, writes (6 February 2009):
I tried it once, and my girlfriend wanted to - it was her idea actually. And the result was that she did not like it, and we stopped pretty quick. Never tried it again. She said it felt like going to the bathroom. Most women do not like it, and it is considered something that men do to DOMINATE women. My advice is to let it go - it is nothing worth hurting your relationship for. And really - you are not missing anything. Maybe you can just try other positions like from behind - but as folks say, HEY - stay away from that - that is an Exit. Good luck
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