A
female
age
36-40,
*iffy116
writes:So my ex and I got into an fight where the conclusion was that space was needed. It has been a lil over 2 weeks now and I have not initiated any form of contact, but he has (texts, random e-mails, twitter messages). I reply to those in a very short and concrete manner. Yesterday, I was around his area after I had an interview and was hanging out with a mutual friend all afternoon. He texts me once I get back home saying that I should of called while I was in the area. I replied back, why? He didn't respond so I decided to call him. When he answered he was like yea you should of called and I said you could of called me. I told him about the job I signed up for and how I have the car and house to myself for the next week and plan on being in DC (his area, I'm in Baltimore) frequently during that week and if he wanted to rendezvous to call me. Then I abruptly told him I had to go and would converse with him later. That conversation was around 2 1/2 minutes long and somewhat empowering. I know I'm not over him, but I know he doesn't think about me as much as I do him because it's all about him and his lil world. I am just wondering why he is doing this. Keep in mind, he plays games, but doesn't really realize it. Whenever we hang out he tells me how much he loves and misses me and wishes he was mature enough to be with me but then says that he wants to date other girls... Why is he still contacting me when he asked for space?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 February 2009):
He sounds like he still doesn't know what he wants. So rather than do the decent thing and get his head straight, he is just getting in touch with you whenever he misses you and then ignoring you when ever he's thinking about someone else.
He's not meaning to play games as you say but since he's just doing what he wants with no regard to your feelings or how it might affect you, you end up getting messed about.
You seem to be going ok, so just keep being strong and telling him to bugger off.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, LOSTONEla +, writes (6 February 2009):
Looks like you have been with him long enough to have determined that you want a committed relationship - now you have to decide if you are going to give him that ultimatum. If you only will except a monigoimus committed relationship - tell him to stop contacting you and move on. I do not think you should give him space if he is going to use it to date other girls. I suspect this will mean - you need to move on, and not play games with him. He is being inconsistent about his signals to you - saying he wants to date others but that you should be taking the initiative to come see him - that is BS. He wants he cake and to eat it too - he wants to be with you and date others. He needs to grow up - I think you can do a lot better - find someone more mature that does not play games and hurt you.
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