A
female
age
36-40,
*alyov
writes:So I'm really new at this dating thing, never really had an official boyfriend until now. I am 20 and he is 19.He was surprised when I told him I am a virgin, and that I've never been kissed. Well he says I can kiss pretty good now, but kissing is not the problem. The last relationship he was in lasted a year and they were sexual the whole time. I know he gets flustered because I won't sleep with him, even though he says he respects my wishes.I also have never masturbated or anything before either.Well the other night things got far and he started to finger me (but I made him stop after awhile), and I gave him a hand job.He drops his all the time that he wants me to give him head. Like he was telling his friend the other day "no she wont do that." and joked around earlier when I said that I was hungry.I have always thought it a bit gross, I don't know...he asked to 'eat me out' the other night and I pushed him away.What should I do? Should I try it, I have a really bad gag reflex, so what do you think?
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hand-job, kissing, oral sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LOSTONEla +, writes (30 January 2009):
Dont be in a rush - this will not be the guy you marry and the one you marry will be very upset with the way you were pressured into it - and also, after you do it - you will be hurt, and it may kill your self esteem - take your time - if he is gonna bolt over this, he just wants one thing. You will regret it - read this note in 6 months - you will see I am right. Look at some of the posts here about "wifes past sex with ex" - it should feel right and be an expression of love - not simply getting someone off
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Well, most 19-yr old guys are horny and will want sex in a relationship. If you aren't ready for that, you may want to put the relationship on hold. There is nothing wrong with that option. Sounds to me like you won't keep this one for long without it, so I would make a decision on it if I were you. Oral sex will only please him for so long, then he will want more. Be ready for that.
If you think you are ready for oral sex, the gag reflex issue can be overcome. I have a problem with that myself. I start by giving my bf a handjob with lube. When he's good and hard, I go down on him using my mouth on just the tip, while I continue to stroke the shaft with my hand. Works like a charm. You'll have him cumming in no time!
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A
female
reader, Kalyov +, writes (24 December 2008):
Kalyov is verified as being by the original poster of the question I really like him
we get along really well
A lot in common and hes very sweet
But hes just a very horny 19 year old and I'm not use to that
because I could care less about things like that
I prefer to wait to have sex till I''m married
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (24 December 2008):
 i think you should dump his ass as he's pressuring you into stuff you arn't comfertable doing.
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A
female
reader, sianybarney +, writes (24 December 2008):
 Hey there, you know the saying practice makes perfect. Try practicing on a carrot or cucumber, after a while you will get used to it and you wont gag. If this grosses you out too much then just try it on him, and just take as much as you can without gagging.
If he knows your a virgin then he already knows it will be awkward for you when you give him head. Trust me he will be glad you even went near his penis.
Make sure that the reason you dont want to give him head is your gag reflexes, and its not that you are just not ready to do it. If you dont wanna do it, then dont. You say he respects your wishes so he should understand and wait till you are ready. Dont let any man pressure you into doing something you dont want to do.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, chris23010 +, writes (24 December 2008):
 Well yall are early in your relationship yet and if you arent comfortable with it you probably should wait but if your only fear is you gag reflex then try it out you may be surprised, and letting him return the favor or even possibly going first to set the mood would probably be in order as well.....In short as long as you think your ready give it a try worst case if you dont like it dont repeat it.
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