A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi There,This is the first time I have done this sort of thing so here goes. I want to know if anybody else feels the same way I do about my wife's sexual past. I have known her since we were in high school. We dated a bit in high school and college and then got serious after college.The issue is the fact that I love to hear about her past experiences. She doesn't like to talk about her past all that much but I find it incredibly erotic. There are times when I will ask her to role play and make believe I am one of the previous guys. It is an unbelievable turn on for me. The only negative is, is the fact that I ejaculate too fast hearing her stories.Does anybody else feel the same way? Is this normal?
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male
reader, LOSTONEla +, writes (29 January 2009):
I think it sounds rather unhealthy emotionally - it places you in a subordinate position. I would rather BE the knight in shining armor - the best, biggest, lover for her - so I cant relate. As others have said - if she is into it as well then fine - but dont make her feel bad about her self.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): I have to admit that I also am extremely turned on by my wifes past! When I first met her she was sleeping with a couple of my friends. Anyhow not that we are together I get soo turned on when she tells me about her past sexual experiences! I get so turned on just thinking about her being naughty!
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A
male
reader, sc03  +, writes (23 January 2009):
I can relate, my wife and I met our last year of high school, and while she was by no means a slut or anything, she did date and have a few flings with guys I knew.
It has never bothered me, in fact thinking of her with some of these guys has always made me horny. Especialy since some of the guys gave me details of what they did before we were even together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): Yes, it's normal -- men are designed to want to know about females' past since cavemen time so that they can know if its their children or not, whether men (or female) know it or not. That said, women don't like to discuss it generally, particulary if it brings up bad memories/judgment. It's great to be turned on by such stories, but careful with how she reacts and how far you take it. She might be telling the next guy instead how she humped you instead of you humping her:)
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A
male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 "Does anybody else feel the same way?"
You mean the negative side effect of hearing and role playing your wife's past sex adventures?
Well, I haven't heard those before but I did inquire about my ex-wife's sexual adventures. The reason for me is to know who this person is because I hate surprises. I learned from her that I am the 9th man in her life. She was the 4th woman in my life. I was totally outclassed by her in terms of tours of duty. I was dealing with a veteran.
Is this normal?
You mean the negative side effect of hearing and role playing your wife's past sex adventures?
Different folks, different strokes. To me, it did have an adverse effect and had to part ways.
Moral lesson: Some tales are better left untold.
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A
male
reader, Luaris +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Wow, that stuff actually would bother me personally. But if thats what you like then I dont see anything wrong with it.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (3 January 2009):
Some guys feel threatened, angry, or at least turned-off at the idea of their partner being with another guy sexually. Some are insecure in their own abilities and afraid of being compared. I suspect the majority of guys are like you - at least moderately interested in the subject, or even significantly turned-on. And then there is the whole swinging, "open-marriage", and polyamory subculture - where guys get major satisfaction from knowing their wives have other partners, even to the point of watching and participating with the others.
But I have to agree with the other responses: If your wife is uncomfortable with discussing this, don't force it. If you tell her that it turns you on to know other men found her desirable, but she chose YOU - she might be more willing to cooperate because she loves you.
Like some suggested, role-playing and fantasies may be a useful alternative. (For instance, my wife and I have had several "one-night stands" together.) Your wife may be able to get into it if you are, for instance, "a handsome stranger who picks her up in the grocery store check-out line", but NOT if you try to be "David, the boyfriend from sophomore year at college".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): i wouldnt say the issue here is her feeling promiscuous id say its more about the fact that they're her past there's issues there she left in the past and she might not want to remember certain people! or the another extreme she may have had some amazing sex with other men and feels guilty of the thought of thinking about that while shes with you
i agree role play about other stuff that you BOTH enjoy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 January 2009):
 I suggest the two of you role-play something totally different then her ex-boy friends. She is over and done with them, so should you be.
Seriously.
She said she doesn't want to go there. Maybe get her to talk about fantasies.
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A
male
reader, pinkey1981 +, writes (3 January 2009):
For her its a matter of secluding her past from you. Woman dont like to talk about their past to the current love cause they dont wanna seem premiscuis(----mispelled i know). You may like it and be turned on by it but for her its probably a big turnoff and may bring some issue up, maybe not for you but for her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): Well are you sure she is into doing that with you??
I mean maybe you wanting her to pretend your someone else bothers her because your the one she picked not the guy she is imagining. But if she doesn't care then go ahead ppl get pleasured differently this just happens to be for you.
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