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... Send *eatherrrrrrr a private message | | | *eatherrrrrrr's profile:I'm a psychology major and blogging addict studying human sexuality for fun and profit. I was born and raised in the American midwest and managed to turn out fairly awesome considering the conservative environment in this area. I'm a pretty even mix of analytical and intuitive thinking, which has led to a perpetual civil war between my heart and mind. I'm very frank and straightforward with a twisted sense of humor. A lot of people in my life have commented that I remind them of Daria, from the cartoon on MTV. I spend a lot of time playing video games and intentionally seeking out bad movies to watch and make fun of. I am the coveted cute nerdy girl. I love going out to clubs and concerts and try to keep a somewhat active life, rather than wasting away on my couch 7 days a week. I have a wonderful boyfriend I've been dating since January 08. My family is totally nuts and so have my past relationships been, but finally this one feels pretty healthy. Here's hoping! |
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| Latest articles: A word of warning about an anti-anxiety drug!
No replies yet... 31 July 2008: So many people suffer from many different forms of anxiety. Our world is filled with people trying to prey on our insecurities, capitalize on our fears, sell us a pill to make us prettier, thinner, stronger, smarter, smooth-skinned, white-teethed, ...
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Boyfriend does not know how to give me space!
Q. Depressed over the loss of my father, and my jealous boyfriend won't give me space! I have never been with someone who loved me so much and respected me so little. We have been together since December of last year, and my father passed away in J...
A. 7 August 2010: I started going to therapy again a couple of weeks ago, and I've been going to Codependents Anonymous meetings for two weeks, as well. I took the boyfriend to therapy and meetings and nothing has really changed.
I broke up with him last night an... (read in full...)
What do I make of this conversation with my troubled ex?
Q. I stopped speaking to my crazy Ex after her "relationship" with a guy who does cocaine. I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore and for a month to obliged my wishes and we didn't speak at all. Then out of the blue she sent me an IM. I hadn't ...
A. 2 August 2008: I'm beginning to think every guy holds onto their first love for a long, long time. Time heals all wounds, but you may never really forget Her.... (read in full...)
What do I make of this conversation with my troubled ex?
Q. I stopped speaking to my crazy Ex after her "relationship" with a guy who does cocaine. I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore and for a month to obliged my wishes and we didn't speak at all. Then out of the blue she sent me an IM. I hadn't ...
A. 1 August 2008: To all of my male friends who have ex girlfriends like this, I only have one thing to say: No, no, NO. Men and women alike will try to charm their exes back in when things aren't going particularly well for them. It's likely she wants to use you ... (read in full...)
My past makes me feel like any new relationship is a game of jenga, just waiting to topple..
Q. I don’t understand why I can’t stop being so pessimistic. I’ve had my heart stepped on a lot in the past, and it’s even been broken a few times. Now I’ve been dating a new guy for about 3 months. Things are great, and he’s wonderful. But, (I...
A. 1 August 2008: You came to this website for the same reason I did. Reading about all the problems other people are having made me feel much more secure in my current relationship, because we have such trivial problems when we have problems at all.
I suffered... (read in full...)
I texted my ex happy birthday and he didn't even reply. Why would he just ignore me?
Q. Hello, I hope someone can help me. I feel I have no-one I can talk to about this and its churning around in my head. My ex and I split up some months ago and since then we have had very little contact. today was the first birthday he has had since ...
A. 31 July 2008: He's your ex. Don't worry about it. He has probably moved on and so should you.... (read in full...)
Can suffering from S.A.D. "Social Anxiety Disorder" affect your sex life or performance?
Q. Does anyone suffer from social anxiety disorder? If so, how does it affect your sex life/sexual performance? Do you suffer from feelings of embarrassment or guilt after having sex with a new partner?...
A. 31 July 2008: I've had a bit of social anxiety my whole life, it fluxes sort of randomly. Sometimes I go months without any symptoms at all. Sexually, though, I can't say it has ever effected me. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed when I think about some of ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know what he wants, I keep being dumped and picked up again.
Q. My boyfriend have been on and off for years. After 5 years i asked him are you sure you really want me?Because lately id been feeling like im more than a nuisance in his life. He spends time going places and doing things with his mates sayin im not ...
A. 31 July 2008: Oh yes, this guy sounds like he is more than a little confused. When people want to break up, it doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. Sometimes they just need to move on, try something new, maybe just be single for a few months, or have fun ... (read in full...)
Men, do you discuss details of your sex lives with your buddies?
Q. I have a question for the men. Do you guys discuss what happens in the bedroom with your male buddies, or best friends? I'd like to think what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Do you guys compare notes and tell each other if she was...
A. 31 July 2008: It depends on the person. My boyfriend got a little upset with me for sharing a few juicy details of our sex life with my best girlfriend. He said that stuff is private and he doesn't tell anyone what we do, so he'd prefer if I didn't either.
H... (read in full...)
The Understanding Male Species...or not?
Q. After reading several of the replies submitted by Agony Uncles here on Dear Cupid, I have come to realise, or should I say, believe, that the majority of them are really very sympathetic, kind, loving, caring ~ but most of all understanding. But ...
A. 31 July 2008: Collaroy, "Pyschology!" That's a new one. I thought they had spell checker built into most browsers by now. One thing that is fairly predictable - people who talk down about psychology generally have little idea what it entails. Or even how to ... (read in full...)
I want to be with someone who doesn't treat me horribly, but I love my boyfriend.
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months now and having arguments has always been our "thing"; anyone who knows us knows this. We never intended for that to happen, though, we just disagree on really one thing: Who's to blame for ...
A. 31 July 2008: Here's a great article for you to read on the topic. Maybe this is where you will find some answers: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/predictors-of-spousal-abuse-and-violence-in-a.html... (read in full...)
After a long term relationship, what's an acceptable "moving on" time period?
Q. Just wondering what people's idea's are on an acceptable 'moving on' time period after a long term relationship ends. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years 6 weeks ago as I fell out of love with him and now I'm in another relationship already ...
A. 31 July 2008: If you are happy, your friends shouldn't need any explanation. My current boyfriend separated from his wife only a couple of months before we met, and we kept our relationship on the downlow for a long time before deciding to make it "official." ... (read in full...)
Another ten with an Am I Pregnant question?
Q. I'm 16 and I think I may be pregnant. My last period started on June 22, 2008. I had unprotected sex on July 5th, 2008.it is july 30th and I still have not got my period. A few days after we had sex I had blood spotting but only for a day or 2.now I ...
A. 31 July 2008: Taking "the easy way out" as you call it is sometimes the most responsible thing you can do.
Juno is a terrible movie of frilly fantasy and in no way does it resemble real life, what a dreadful suggestion!... (read in full...)
I'm self-conscious about my body, I'm afraid that when we have sex he'll tell his friends about it!
Q. I'm self concious of my body and am scared to have sex for the first time because i fear that he won't like my body and will tell all his friends about it. Are guys usually like this. please help!...
A. 31 July 2008: If this is how you are feeling, it may be your own way of letting yourself know you aren't ready for full intercourse. As you get a little older and more confident, so will the boys you date, and they will be less likely to brag to their friends.
... (read in full...)
I can't figure out what this man wants from me.
Q. I recently started "seeing" a man I used have feelings for. Now I can't figure out what he wants. He says he is looking for a serious relationship, but I'm afraid he's just spending time with me until he finds what he's looking for. When we are ...
A. 31 July 2008: Definitely ask him outright if he wants a future with you. If he waffles, he may not be sure yet. So keep your options open. Go on a few dates with other guys. Keep it light.... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant and he is calling other girls on line the pet names he calls me. Help!
Q. i think my boyfriend is cheating on me im 8months pregnent and i dont know what to do. he left his myspace screen up and i went in took a look in his messages he's calling these other girls baby and sexy and tells them that their fine and it hurts ...
A. 31 July 2008: Well he obviously isn't trying very hard to hide it from you. I agree that he is probably getting cold feet about the baby. This online stuff could be harmless, and probably is. Maybe it's time to talk about how he's feeling. He's the only one ... (read in full...)
Does he chat with her instead of spending time with me?
Q. My boyfriend had this girl add him on Msn, he doesnt know who she is and she started talking about sex and trying to have cyber sex with him. I told him i wasnt too happy about it (he would go mad if it was me!) He says he deleted her and doesnt t...
A. 31 July 2008: Ohhhhh I hate liars. In the pit of your stomach you always know they lied. I think you should come clean about snooping. It's not that weird or bad, he should forgive you. Now as for him chatting sex with another woman, this could be bad or not ... (read in full...)
How can I get to know the guy from the pub?
Q. Hi I really like a guy in my local town and he goes down to the pub alot with some of his guy friends... but i dont really know him and he doesnt know me..? how can i get to know him, my friend knows him and she is trying to play matchmaker and s...
A. 31 July 2008: Yay! I'm planning to write a book for girls on how to pick up guys, this is perfect.
A guy who is 24 is not all that different from a guy who is 18. They only carry themselves with more confidence in the beginning, once you get to know them, th... (read in full...)
Does anyone want to quit smoking with me? We can do it!!
Q. Goodbye nasty cigarettes, hello brighter future : ) I know I'm not exactly posing a question here but today I decided to kick the habit. I have only been smoking a year, I am in college and for whatever reason I gave into the smoking peer pre...
A. 31 July 2008: Oh lord, I just quit smoking pot, can we save cigarettes for next year?... (read in full...)
Trying to exercise my PC muscle - any tips?
Q. I'm a guy and I'm trying to strengthen my pc muscle. I can't really find it but think i have. When i squeeze the muscle my penis kind of feels like it lifts slightly Is this right? Are there any other methods to exercise the muscle? Th...
A. 31 July 2008: As a woman, I can tell you this is really important and I am impressed that you have an interest in figuring it out at your age.
Practicing your ability to stop the flow of urine after it has begun is one way to go about it. You can also try hang... (read in full...)
What does a girl do when she's on top?
Q. I don't know what to do when I'm on top!! help! ...
A. 31 July 2008: A simple answer? Play with your tits. Or put his hands on your tits. If you're feeling adventurous, reach behind you very very gently tug on his testicles with the tips of your fingers, as if they were delicate breakable eggs, never squeeze ... (read in full...)
I think these women are after my husband...
Q. Me and my husband have a large group of friends. We all meet up for events in our area and have a good time, but lately i have become suspicious of him. My best friend lives down the road and we get on great and most of the time it is just us an...
A. 31 July 2008: Clearly there are some major trust issues cropping up here. There almost isn't anything you can do or say to anyone about this because if you are wrong, that would be very insulting to everyone implicated. I think the best you can do is try to ... (read in full...)
Another ten with an Am I Pregnant question?
Q. I'm 16 and I think I may be pregnant. My last period started on June 22, 2008. I had unprotected sex on July 5th, 2008.it is july 30th and I still have not got my period. A few days after we had sex I had blood spotting but only for a day or 2.now I ...
A. 31 July 2008: However embarrassing it may seem, it's time for a trip to Planned Parenthood. They have free pregnancy testing and it's the most accurate I know of. Whether you are pregnant or not, you should really go up there and find out about cheap birth ... (read in full...)
I want to be with someone who doesn't treat me horribly, but I love my boyfriend.
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and eight months now and having arguments has always been our "thing"; anyone who knows us knows this. We never intended for that to happen, though, we just disagree on really one thing: Who's to blame for ...
A. 31 July 2008: A lot of girls find themselves in situations like this, you are not alone. But I have to tell you, anyone who hits you, even once, is not someone you want in your life. Much less as a boyfriend. Changing people is impossible. And there's noth... (read in full...)
How do we take the resentment he has towards me out of the relationship?
Q. Where do I start. My boyfriend and I have been dating officially 7 months and unofficially almost a year. During the beginning of our attraction i was seeing someone else and he was flaunting girls in front of me to get my attention. However I did ...
A. 31 July 2008: I get what you mean by alpha male. I think if you make it very clear you are coming from a place of loving concern, he should take it alright. You can say something like, I love you very much, you're the center of my world, etc, and I don't want ... (read in full...)
I can't break it off with this MM myself should I call his wife instead to break the tie?
Q. I have been seeing a married coworker since March of 2008. We've been together just about every day since. He is so unhappy at home but he won't leave his wife. He is 52 and I'm 26. I'm considering calling his wife so that all ties will be broken ...
A. 30 July 2008: This is going to sound really harsh. I'm sorry. Find a new job, change your phone number, STOP SEEING THIS GUY. If you call his wife, you go down in the history books as another psycho mistress and nobody wants that. Plus you are ruining live... (read in full...)
I'm 14, catholic, & want to have a baby!
Q. well i'm 14 and reallllly want to have a baby. i want to be married and, 5 months pregnant right now. i have babysat a lil a baby before but so i know its not a walk in the park. and i know they refuse to sleep and cry and stuff and im catholic so ...
A. 30 July 2008: Get a puppy.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a physical relationship with this guy?
Q. I have a guy-friend. We used to be close but dated briefly and are just now renewing our friendship. Last time I spent time with him, we were joking around and ended up making out. Today, when I saw him again, he kissed me good-bye. I still have ...
A. 30 July 2008: I wouldn't worry about it too much if you're just making out or fooling around a little. The fact that you know he's leaving makes it kind of fun, you get to spend your last month together doing fun stuff. You're young, this is fun time! Just ... (read in full...)
How do we take the resentment he has towards me out of the relationship?
Q. Where do I start. My boyfriend and I have been dating officially 7 months and unofficially almost a year. During the beginning of our attraction i was seeing someone else and he was flaunting girls in front of me to get my attention. However I did ...
A. 30 July 2008: I feel your pain, truly. I was in a 2 year relationship with a man who suffered from extreme mental problems and it was my job to be his rock. He took out his insecurities about the problems he was having on me all the time. Even though I ... (read in full...)
I love her and care for her, but I feel like I'm being suffocated; I tried telling her this before, but she burst into tears.
Q. I have always sucked at this part and am not sure what to do... I'm 31 and have been dating a girl for about 15 months now. She's also 31, very nice, and we share a great deal in common. There have been some issues since the beginning of our...
A. 30 July 2008: There are two sides to every coin and in my experience she couldn't make all of your family and friends hate her without a little help from you.
In short, it sounds like this relationship is pretty poisonous and you need to steel your heart an... (read in full...)
In a relationship, but not over my ex. What do I do?
Q. I apologize if this is too long... I dated a girl, we'll call her Jane, in high school. She was the sweetest person and it was a pretty great relationship. However, due to her dad's work, she had to move away my sophomore year. We kept in touc...
A. 30 July 2008: A lot of men, maybe even the majority of men, hang onto the ideal of their first love for years or even decades. Women are said to be the romantic ones but I believe that is a complete misnomer. Perhaps the reason you can't move on is because you ... (read in full...)
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