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Can anyone tell me what my problem is?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *hero writes:

I'm a guy, i've been dating since i was 16, albeit poorly. I've tried to be every kind of guy, badass, nice, and in between. And everything else you can think of.

All i want, all i've ever wanted, is a stable relationship. Something that, i can have for years and years on end. So far my longest relationship is 3 months.

I'm 21, i've been in the army once, i have a dead end job, and im trying to go back. I recently dated someone 4 days in a row, and she broke it off today. She hasn't said why, and im hoping to find out soon. Here's the thing, i get very very clingy. I want to spend every minute i can with whoever im dating. Mind you, its been 2 years since my last date. In between then its just been me.

I have some mental issues i know that, i just want you ladies to ask me questions or to tell me, what my problem is.

Mind you she had other guy drama, but still. If he even factored (even though he was a douche who was with her for 5 years and did her wrong), if i was doing it right, he shouldn't have mattered. So, i appreciate your advice.

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A male reader, thero United States +, writes (13 April 2009):

thero is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thero agony auntI always gave. But then again, probably expected too much on an emotional level. And as far as being anyone else, I have been myself, apparently it gets the same result. I think my main issue is attachment, i don't know how to not form one and then let go when the time is right.

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A male reader, NightLad Canada +, writes (13 April 2009):

NightLad agony auntI think your first mistake is trying to be any other "type" of guy aside for yourself. You can't start a relationship or attract a stable partner on a false premise. If your authentic personality isn't what you are putting out there, then you can't be surprised when you attract the wrong type of girl, IE: one who is attracted to the persona that does not reflect the real you.

Just be yourself and work on your self-confidence before you try again. I hope this helps.

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A male reader, enjoimx United States +, writes (13 April 2009):

enjoimx agony auntGirls like a guy who has stuff going for himself. You said you want to spend every minute with her, that means you are too clingy. You need to get your life in order and make yourself happy for yourself. Do not rely on a woman to make you happy, because they NEVER will. Only you can make yourself happy, and once you are happy, you can share that happiness with a woman. That its called LOVE.

Love is giving not receiving.

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