A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 and my girlfriend is 15. Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me. I never forced her, but can I still get in trouble. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jchevy1791 +, writes (16 April 2009):
 It's really not a big deal. Your also a minor. You can't get in any trouble unless you were 18. So don't stress, you didn't do anything wrong. Your only two years older then her and it is legal. once you turn 18 it will be illegal. The mom can try to press charges on you but you won't get in trouble and definitely not sent to jail.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Well, in this case, the poster would do good to protect himself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Enjoimx you said, "Sorry to say, but this is NOT an extreme case. NO JUDGE, I can assure you, would sentence a 17 year old boy to prison for consensually sleeping with his girlfriend 2 years his minor."I say, bullshit. Don't give out legal advice unless you're this boy's lawyer. This boy could very well likely find himself in front of a judge whose just sick and tired of kids having sex and just itching to make an example. Or the girl's mother could have heavy influence with the prosecutors et al and make sure that the boy does time or have a record. So, don't tell this boy "there, there... the aunts are just scaring you" unless you know the full circumstances of his situation, which none of us do. I know a guy who went to prison and has a record and both he and the girl in question were minors when they had sex. It can and does happen.I mean, come on... we're the same country that is currently prosecuting a 12 or 14 year old girl for sending out naked texts of herself under the charge of child pornography.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (15 April 2009):
I agree, both kids should have been thinking with their brains. Which is something that can be said of millions and millions of people around the world. Including the mother who thinks that sending a teen-ager to jail is the way to protect her daughter from sexually transmitted diseases, an inconvenient and unwanted pregnancy, emotional stress and all that.
Where I live, and I assume that, around the world as well, we know that once you "taste the honey of sex", you want it again. And again. So, the girl will sleep with someone else again and I'm afraid that she won't really bother to check her partner's age before she sleeps with him. What is going to happen then? Send another teen-ager to jail?
What if the girl turns 18, sleeps with another 18 year old, and becomes pregnant and gets AIDS? Will the mother put the other man in jail? Oh, no, she won't, because legalities have been respected. The real issue here is abiding by the law. Whether the law makes sense or not, that's irrelevant.
I believe that sometimes we need to see beyond the question that is asked. The poster's life could have been seriously affected as well. He is not old enough to be a father. Here's a teen-ager who needs to be told to open his eyes and get smart. I am pretty sure that this is what happens in jail. It is well known, as Army Medic suggested, that criminals rape young men. I believe this is what we call "the just reward for statutory rape". A 17 year old sleeps with his 15-year old sweetie: it is just right -because it's legal- to put him in a situation where he will be raped. Of course, there's a law for everything, so the boy will always be able to file an accusation. An inquiry will begin to determine whether he was really forced. Of course, the constitutional rights of the rapists would be respected, so they would not incriminate themselves. And we'll have someone saying that the boy had it coming.
I see that a point is being missed here: this is a seventeen year old who didn't think right. Not a criminal.
I agree with enjoimx in that the mother most likely won't press charges. But I see something wrong in an adult bullying a teen-ager. And I also believe that the guy's parents should have a say in what happens with their underage son.
Ejoimx has presented an interesting point. The boy's mother should also press charges. I suppose that the 15 year old girl should be put in jail, too?
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Sorry the legal age of consent actually ranges from 14 to 18. Also a typo
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (15 April 2009):
The United States has ages of consent ranging from 15 to 18. For example, washington the age of consent is 15. That means if this boy lives in washington, no charges can be brought against him. Furthermore, Even if the state he lives in has an age of consent of 18, the highest possible, recent court rulings indicate that in the case of consensual sex between minors with a two year age gap, the harshest extent of the law which can be applied to the boy (and for that matter THE GIRL if the boy's mother presses charges, yes men and women have equal rights people) is a misdemeanor and 1 year in jail. That is the HARSHEST punishment. A misdemeanor. Jail time is parenthetical to MANY petty crimes such as speeding, stealing a cd from Wal Mart, and getting into a fight in high school. The clause is tacked on in order to allow thre judge the possibility of applying a harsh punishment when appropriate for extreme cases.Sorry to say, but this is NOT an extreme case. NO JUDGE, I can assure you, would sentence a 17 year old boy to prison for consensually sleeping with his girlfriend 2 years his minor. But, if you want to be technical, the BOY's mother should also press charges as the couple were both under the legal age of consent in states where it is 18.It all depends on your state buddy, and even then, Probably nothing is going to come of this threat.Keep us posted!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (15 April 2009):
I don't know what the law is in the United States. I know that, where I live, you wouldn't be charged with anything. Both of you would be minors, both would be equally protected by the Code of Children and Adolescents, and you wouldn't be charged with statutory rape as the age gap between you two is less than two years and she's 15.
I believe this way of thinking makes a lot more sense that what seems to be the law in the United States.
If a 17 year old male sleeping with a 15 year old female is considered wrong in your country, then don't do it. Not only from a moral point of view, but from a practical point of view as well. You will get into trouble for it, the kind of trouble that you can't handle alone.
I agree that you did the wrong thing. I disagree with many other things. For example, I would like to point out that you were not the only one to do the wrong thing. The girl did that, too. But the mother is the one who got this all wrong. And she has no excuse.
Here I see an adult who is abusing her condition as such to bully you into not having sex with her daughter who, it seems, had sex with you voluntarily. Your post suggests that you're boyfriend and girlfriend. Either I am wrong, or teen-age sex is not exactly a rare occurrence, whatever people think about it. Honest, rethorical question: How many of the people who visit this site were not virgins at 17?
I wonder if this mother couldn't have handled the problem by talking to YOUR parents, poster, and having four adults taking measures, two from each side. Instead, she bullies you and threatens to put you in jail. This is the kind of behavior adults should be praised for.
If I were you, I wouldn't expect the mother to be happy with a promise that you won't sleep together again. To be honest, if I were the mother, I wouldn't believe in any promises, because, as an adult, I would know sex is too powerful a force. For all practical purposes, your relationship with this girl is over.
I recommend that you talk to your parents about this problem. I hope they will be as responsibly adult as the mother of your girl has not been. Let her deal with other adults, just for the sake of levelling the field.
If I am reading your post right, you have a relationship with this girl. Like I said, it's over; but you will want to approach her again. And, whatever people's opinions about it are, SO WILL THE GIRL. I recommend you don't even talk to her again, no matter how hard she cries or whatever. The minute you are near that girl again, the problem will start anew, because the mother won't believe that you're just exchanging romantic poems. I doubt the mother will just bully you; I'm sure she will do more than that. And that makes me worried about you. I insist: why don't you talk to your parents and tell them where you stand now, and together you talk to that mother?
The mother is taking the easy route. She can't control her daughter, and she knows it, because sex is also a powerful force for her. So the mother goes the way of the bullies, and threatens you. Just for the sake of a rethorical question, what would that mother do if her daughter were sleeping with a 14 year old boy?
NOT A RETHORICAL QUESTION: Is this really the way to handle the fact that two teen-agers are having sex?
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (15 April 2009):
Wow such harsh answers and none of them are based on any research! As long as you ARE TRULY under 18, you have VERY little to worry about, other than your morals and values.
Some important things to consider:
1. She probably, almost positively, wont press charges, shes just trying to scare you.
2. Any legal consequences depend on the State you live in. The legal age of consent varies from 14 to 18, depending on the state. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-07-24-teen-sex-offenders_N.htm
3. It is highly unlikely that in the case of charges, you will actually be convicted of rape or anything else for that matter.
4. Look up the "Romeo and Juliet Laws http://womensissues.about.com/od/datingandsex/a/Romeo_and_Julie.htm
5. Consensual sex between minors is "understandable". Now thats not saying its "good" or "respectable" but IT HAPPENS people.
To all of you harsh posters, when did you lose your virginity? Were you 18? Maybe but doubtfully. Did you go to jail?
Stay away from this girl though and consider your mistake a learning lesson.
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Yes you will be charged and be put in prison and your name on the sex offenders list meaning you won't be able to work with children, you will find it hard to get a job and when you do have children you will have check ups by someone from social services.
Before you go to prison they will do a mental health check on you and if you don't pass it you could end up in a secure unit. I'm not joking my mum works in one with people who are in there for sleeping with underage girls.
You need to talk to this girls mum. Sit her down calmly and explain to her that you know what you did was wrong but you won't do it again. If she says not to see her daughter again then you will just have to except it if you don't want to end up inside.
Good luck
Livia
xxx
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (15 April 2009):
 I love her Mom, I hope she does press charges, technically you did force her, she is under the age of consent, therefore when you asked her to have sex and she said yes legally that means nothing because she is a child and doesn't know any better, so it's not just under age sex it's statutory rape!
But hey you'll know all about that in prison/they like little peados!
You knew when you had sex that it was illegal, so I guess you think she is worth going to prison for, which is kind of sweet I suppose.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 April 2009):
If you have had sex with a child then you can be charged.
She's 15!! How did you possibly think that having sex with her when she was that young was a good idea???
Stay the hell away from her, and tell her mum that you will never see her or anyone that young again.
Good Luck!! xx
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