A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm heartbroken. I've been interested in this girl for years. She's always been interested in me. She told me quite frankly how her world turns upside down when she's with me. We have a wonderful time when we go out... but she says she's not ready for a relationship ("that her hearts not there for this right now"). It just kills me and now I feel very uncomfortable around her on campus.Why would she go on all those dates with me? Why would she ask to kiss me? Why would she tell me how crazy she is about me? This is all such torture. It's like everything couldn't be more perfect but for an unsurmountable block she has. I don't know what her ex did to her but it really sucks that she's been single all these years. I'm so heartbroken.My friends say that I shouldn't feel rejected given how crazy she is about me, but I do. I'm sad. I want to be with her. I think she's too scared of getting hurt and that now that we're graduating she's going to distance herself from me to protect herself from the feelings we feel for each other. I'm so sad. What can I do?
View related questions:
heartbroken, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Wow, I went through a situation extremely similar to yours. I had a crush on this girl for all throughout high school and never got a good chance to make something happen. We started hanging out a bit and after a few times of seeing each other we were crazy about each other. Everything we did we had a great time and it was amazing. I knew she had dated this kid the end of the year before and previous summer but I recently heard they broke up. We weren't close enough yet where I would dig into her previous relationship and ask a bunch of questions so i figured for the time being we would enjoy each others company and I would try not to worry about it. A few months had gone by and we were still hanging out all the time but never took it further than that. We'd kiss and hold hands but nothing more. Then randomly we met for coffee and she told me she likes me and enjoys spending time with me, but doesn't want a relationship right now. I was absolutely crushed. I feel you because EVERYTHING was there. The chemistry, the connection, the physical attraction, you name it. But for some reason she just did not want a relationship at that time, and wasn't at all ready for one. She told me what I did was up to me. And i notice you're in a similar situation. You can technically not see her anymore and move on but who would want to do that when you're this crazy about someone you know? She said she'd understand if i didn't want to continue to hang out and move on, but I told her I wanted to continue hanging out, simply because I loved being with her.
I'm not saying this to get your hopes up man, but in my situation, about 3 months later we started dating "officially". We had continued to hang out and see each other over the course of the next couple months and it turned into something more. Now remember, there was a point where she absolutely did not want a relationship and made that clear. But over time, we grew closer and closer and her mind changed. Mind you, this was months before we graduated so I was hesitant because I knew we were heading to different schools in the fall.
After finding out she did not want a relationship, it was a rough time, because like you, I wanted more. It hurts I know. You feel rejected but yet happy she spends time with you. That combination can make things very frustrating and confusing. I simply cannot imagine that this girl, who says she is this crazy about you, would just never want something more. At this point in time she doesn't obviously, but who knows how she'll feel in a months time, 3 months time, etc. You have to ask yourself if you think you're going to be happier by moving on and finding someone who wants to be with you or take a chance and risk heartbreak.
Keep your head up though man, keep being yourself, and hopefully thing will turn around. I truly hope things work out for you. Let me know what you decide to do!
A
male
reader, enjoimx  +, writes (3 April 2009):
 Just keep being her friend and being nice to her. Give her whatever you can give (in terms of love and kindness), but make sure you are happy first. If she doesnt want a romantic thing, just let it be friends and be thankful for that. Keep your chin up, as long as you stay true to yourself and keep being nice, you wont lose anything.
...............................
|
