A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with this guy for a few months. He knows that I wont do anything with him unless I get some kind of commitment but he still can't call himself my b/f because he isn't ready and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep. He did, however, ask for oral sex because its not even a big deal to him and I said to get a whore if he wants easy sex and he says he only wants me. Its weird because he is not one to go from girl to girl trying to get sex (we started off as friends)We go on dates, kiss in public and he says there is no one else so I don't understand what the problem is. I want to tell him I am sick of him stringing me along and not being able to commit. Last time we talked was exactly a week ago and we accidentally ran into each other that same day and I think he could tell that I was really angry. He hasn't called since so my question is should I call him and "officially" end it or should I assume he got the memo? I know we were never a real couple but I need to get closure and make him realize that he just missed the best opportunity of his life.
View related questions:
hasn't called, oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah thanks. I'm not even going to bother calling him, if he wants to talk to me, he can call me. I guess he's forgotten all about me :( Whatever, he's an ASS!!
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Hi Honey,
To expect a guy to commit to you after only a few months, just for sex is a bit unrealistic.
What if he had said to you "Yes I love you! Yes I want to marry you" then you had sex and he didnt call again.
He is trying to be honest, where I think you are trying to push things to soon.
Babe! all guys will try to get sex, especially at that age. It doesnt mean that he does or doesn't care, its sex!!
Men look at this totally different from us girls (unfortunatly).
If this guy really does like you, then leave him alone to think about things. If he comes back to you then you know he cares. And if he doesn't, well you have your answer.
Not every guy looks on virginity as a massive prize, so he may not see that losing you is a missed opportunity.
If you have a sexual relationship with another person, it should be much more important that you have feelings for one-another, rather than the fact its your first time.
How many girls think they are in love, sleep with a guy for the first time, then dont see him again? thousands I bet!
If you want to hold onto something that you feel is special then thats great, but not everyone will have the same opinion.
XX
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 enjoimx got a point, love gives. Of course, his point only works on silly people who don't reason through.
If love gives and he gives nothing then he doesn't love you.
You got to ask what enjoimix in his relationships gives. Is he only a taker? Well who cares, he didn't ask for advice you did.
Your guy has made it pretty damn clear that "he just ain't that into you". God movie has a good title. Sure, he asks for sex. Guys ask that of anything in a skirt that has a pulse. It means NOTHING. And plenty of guys are perfectly willing to use a girl who fancies them for sex while it suits them even if they know they "just really ain't that into her".
At least he is honest enough to say it. Start listening.
As for you being the best opportunity in his life. Sorry girl, even if that is true, how many best opportunities have you let slip by in your life? It ain't your call to make this time.
...............................
A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (30 April 2009):
 The problem is is that you want something he doest want. You want some commitment, he wants freedom. I respect his desire fgor freedom. It is absolutely possible to love someone and still desire freedom from commitment, that is a common misconception. Commitment sours love and relationship because it introduced expectations. If you claim to love him, it shouldnt matter whether or not he "commits" to you. Respect the man's freedom and he will appreciate you soo much more and maybe your relationship will blossom.
Love gives, it doesnt take. It thinks of others. you have to be the change you want to see in the world.
...............................
A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Honey, closure doesn't exist...what you really want is for him to feel terrible and to miss you desperately, and to realize how wonderful you are, and come crawling back with a commitment to you and only you.
How realistic is it to expect such a response from him?
If a guy really cares, he claims you as his girl (so no one else can have you).
If a guy really cares, he wants to protect you from everything that may cause a frown on your pretty face.
If a guy really cares, he sends cards, little thoughtful notes, and calls you a lot...(he can't stop thinking about you)
If you don't have this with someone, you have not met the right someone yet.
Stay loose for now. Your real match is waiting for you to ditch this friend of yours. Don't bother officially ending it - you'll just look silly to him and you'll take longer to heal.
...............................
|
