A
male
age
30-35,
*avoc6562
writes:I fell in love with a girl that was my best friend as well. She has been dating my one of my ex-friends(we had a falling out a few months ago over her) for a year and a half. She loves him even though he treats her like crap. She has told me many times that he is useless and doesn’t understand how she loves him. She has told me that I treat her much better than anyone ever has but she still stays with an asshole. She has spent the night with me many times(we haven’t ever had sex or even kissed but flirt sexually and have talked about having sex before/the usual conclusion is she is scared it will ruin our friendship). She broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago but they still see each other often and have sex. He tells her he will change and to give him another chance but so far he has just made things worse. It kills me to see her hurt emotionally or physically and he does both to her. I have fallen so fast and hard for this girl I would do anything for her just to give me a chance. I always make her laugh and we can have a great time even in the most boring of situations. I have never loved someone before so this is a new experience for me. I am always missing her and think about her constantly. So my question is why will she not leave him for me. If u need any additional info about the situation I will be glad to fill u in.
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best friend, broke up, fell in love, flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): What women say they want and what they actually do are two totally different things. She'll complain day and night about this guy but she's nowhere even close to leaving him.
Take care of yourself and back away from her a bit. This won't turn out like you want and you're only wearing yourself out emotionally by staying involved.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): my advise is keep away until she resolves her relationship with the ex. If you continue in this situation you will make yourself miserable. Why dont you give her space and let her miss you and come after you and this time tell her its all or nothing. If i were you I will not hang around and just wait to get hurt! Human have the tendency to only appreciate things once we have lost it. Maybe then your friend will realise your value!
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (29 April 2009):
 The fact is is that she isnt ready to move on. As much as you want her to stop loving this other guy, she isnt going to do that until the time is right for her. Only when SHE sees a real reason to stop loving him will she actually do it. Just because you see this other guy and how he treats her, realize you are a third party perspective, and she is blinded by love. She cant see what you see.
I know you love her but she is simply in love with someone else, even though the other guy is an asshole. She sees something in him. Respect that, respect her. Its not all about what you want. I know you want this girl soo bad but she still wants this other guy. She is telling you that clearly through ACTION. Her words are deceiving you, because she doesnt want to hurt you
Bottom line is she isnt ready to be in a relationship with you yet. You need to move on unless you are willing to wait for this girl untill she sees the light. I would try to move on though. I have gotten to be very practical about such matters and waiting for someone like her, who is blinded and lovesick, is not something you can afford yin your fabulous life. She will respect you more for doing your own thing and not pining over her forever.
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