A
male
age
41-50,
*heusa101
writes:Dear cupid,My gf and I split 5 months ago yet we continue to see each other about once a week. At best, I'm confused as to what she is doing to me and what she really wants. I have been having a terrible time coping to the point of affecting my work performance. Obviously I am fighting for this relationship to continue but it has taken a toll on me and everyone around me. It has become my mission to get my girl back but I don't know how long my body will put up with this torment.Ofcourse she does not see this side of me so she has no idea just how much it has taken out of me. I am the most stubborn guy you'll ever meet and I will not accept losing this battle with her. What keeps me going is that for one reason or another, one of us manages to break down and make time to see each other. We've talked about it and we admitted that its been torture trying to forget about each other. She told me that she looks at my photos everynight before she goes to bed and she thinks about me throughout the day. She said that she cannot help herself from seeing me because her feelings are so strong for me. Both of us admitted to never having felt like this for anyone in our lives. We are genuinely head over heels for each other. For instance last week we spent an entire day together having lots of fun and we made love many times. Then twice since then we spent hours together and it was like pure bliss. We kiss and are very passionate with each other.She says I need to find someone else. She says that she is not like normal girls and that if we stay together that I will end up hating her. In turn this will ruin her and leave us both in a rotten situation. She said she loves me too much to have her with me. It was as if she was warning me to stay away from her because she herself can't control how bad she can treat someone. She knows it takes a rock solid guy to deal with her sometime edgy hard charging personality, and I am more of a sensitive type. I've been able to open doors in her that she never knew existed and I have really made her appreciate that side of herself. Besides, I am a man and I feel it is my job to take care of my miss, yet if you knew her, she is well independant and likes to get what she wants.She is forcasting doom but our hearts are still wrapped together in a vaccum tight container. I cannot break this girl out my head. I once was so level headed but I feel that I have been broken for my desire for this woman.There is no end in site to us stop seeing each other and some days I feel the need to sink my chips into a diamond ring and to get on with it, but I fear my success rate on a propsal might barely tip 20%. I love her more than I can explain.There are a few compatibilty issues which has also concerned her. I am quite a bit younger and I have the body of a pro athlete. I am a good looking guy and this is a fear for her in years to come. She is scared me leaving her or not loving her. I have explained that I would never do such a thing and that I would make her the happiest woman alive. My core values are based around the family while she is independent of this and likes to fly on her own schedule.Yet love is blind and we are the happiest when we are together and things have been improving lately. We can talk about more stuff and there is no pressure and its like we are building a renewed friendship. Its as if we are starting over after we now better understand what works best for the other person and how we both communicate. We never once fought while we were together. It was and still is like a storybook relationship and i know that I have her heart. Yet we can see each other 3 days in a row, do dinner, make love and then she doesn't answer my calls for the weekend. So I'm stuck staring at outright perfection (us) and left wondering how she could possibly stop taking my calls these last couple days. And you watch, 3 days from now ill get a txt msg from her saying that she has missed me. Pssshhhh, its happen many times. So I'm ready to say, let's get hitched and do this, and if not then I'm gunna take some wine and sleeping pills cause this just doesn't make sense to me. Aaaarrrrgh! She is confusing me!!!!Any advice?
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male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (15 March 2010):
 You HAVE to stop seeing her. You MUST cut all communication. This girl is trying to let you down while trying to not hurt your feelings, but it always hurts to be rejected. So learn from it, and move on. Dont waste any more time. Its almost impossible to "remain friends." Its called a breakup because its BROKEN!
Move on buddy, you will be fine.
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