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... Send *rttymtlkitty a private message | | | *rttymtlkitty's profile:Live in Central NJ. I'm a passionate person who enjoys long lasting relationships and autonomy. I've studied buddhist philosophy, psychology and have been in several long lasting & long distance relationships. I'm not on bad terms really w. any of my ex's so I can't be all that bad. My x's then turn to me for advise sometimes. Its very flattering. Yet when I'm in over my head, I see no problem in asking for help. I know there is someone out there who had the same issue. |
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This guy does drugs, is that okay or should I move on?
Q. i've met this really great guy and we get on really well, he's good looking, funny, in a band...but...he does drugs, not sure exactly what...'shrooms n hash i think. Im not saying that i don't go out and get drunk but drugs are different. Do you ...
A. 9 May 2006: I would be weary of the marijuana use for the simple fact it seems to make some emotionally unavailable. Then you have to think of how your relationship might be affected as it progresses especially if its hibitual. You have to consider how big of a ... (read in full...)
I have no sex life because of my wife, what should I do?
Q. I am 39 and been married since 1990. I have two beautiful children whom i adore, and a lifestyle which surpasses my expectations.My problem is that my relationship with my wife is totally unfulfilling for me physically. We have sex approx once a ...
A. 9 May 2006: Your wife seems to be asleep at the wheel from some reason. I would think about the root of this emotional distance before approaching her. Pin point where/how it started. Did you or she work long hours or constantly away? Did she or your ... (read in full...)
To her he was a rebound guy 15 years ago but now we are getting serious!!
Q. Okay, here's the scoop..... Over 15 years ago, my best friend, now and then, was dating a guy. Nothing serious, no love, no sex (they were 14 at the time). Anyway, we met up with this guy 15 years later as adults. We all hung out as friends. ...
A. 9 May 2006: No, your right. That is a line that should not be crossed between friends/family at any age for any reason. She may not really care but in that realm its still 'her territory'.
You may want to spare her of the details of your relationship and keep... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt her, but I feel it's time to break up!
Q. so how do I break up with her? we're both sophomores at different colleges, and have been dating since senior year of high school. i just don't feel the same way as I once did, and i really don't want to hurt her. she's been asking things like what ...
A. 9 May 2006: Ok, so you love her but want to break up? Is it the distance getting to you more or the pressure? If your ok w. the distance, but can't handle the pressure then you need to let her know before you do something you may regret. Once the pressure is ... (read in full...)
We broke up, she's with her ex, but now she don't even want to know me!
Q. hey my g/f just left me after 5years together after she said she doesn't want to be with me she went straight on anti depressions and has gotten back with her boyfriend before me in a month of us breaking up i try to ask her why she left me and i am ...
A. 3 May 2006: I don't know what the circumstances surrounding the break up are, but from what you said she is with someone else and on anti-depressants. Thats a big clue. She is obviously trying to get healthy along with a 'crutch' or some emotional support ... (read in full...)
My mom told my dad that I'm not a virgin!
Q. My mom just told my dad that I'm not a virgin anymore. How can I talk to my dad about this? He's going to be fuming and I'm already angry at my mom for doing this without consulting me because if anything I should have been the one who told him ...
A. 1 May 2006: If he does blast you, he's a total hippocrate unless you signed a waiver revoking your right to live and learn like the rest of us. Anything he expresses beyond general concern is overstepping, especially at your age.... (read in full...)
Did I make the right move with confused partner?
Q. k so here it is....my sons father fell in love with me while he was with his fiance that he's been with for 3 yrs. i ignoreded him for about a week and a half cuz i wasn't gonna be a third party so he left her, cuz he couldn't stop thinking about ...
A. 28 April 2006: I definately think you did, but there is still no way to know if he is still seeing her for emotional support during these two weeks. Since you are the absent party, he will be feeling for you the most in those 2 weeks. If so, it may still not be an ... (read in full...)
Husband is stressing me out and I can't cope anymore, Please help me??
Q. Dear Friends, My husband wants to move back to his home town and wants me to ask for a transfer when I have only been on the job a short time. I have asked about transfers and have been told I need to be on the job six months and have strong sale...
A. 28 April 2006: Guess he knew things were goin south on the job and didn't want to say. Its just too coincidental that he wanted to move close to the time before he lost his job. Some people have trouble functioning outside their element. Depression usually is ... (read in full...)
He's always stared at other women but now I'm pregnant it's starting to get at me, I need advice!
Q. My husband is obsessed with women. We have a great life together but he can help stopping and looking at other women. And has done since we have met. I find it really hard at the moment be heavily pregnant seeing him watch other women knowing he ...
A. 28 April 2006: Just curious, but did you think he would rather sleep with other women when he looked at them before you got pregnant? Its hard to ask someone to curb there behavior you once accepted, but he needs to know how much of yourself you have to give up to ... (read in full...)
Everything was great until a week ago, now I am lucky if he picks up my calls!!
Q. My boyfriend is 8 years older than me and we just started a long distance relationship about 5 months ago. We visit each other every month taking turns and everything has been great. When we are apart he would call up to 4 times or more a day and ...
A. 28 April 2006: Sounds like something eles had his attention. I would definately roll up on him and find out what it is.... (read in full...)
Half-way through sex I go soft, what can the problem be??
Q. I have sex with my girlfriend we start doing it then half way through it i get soft what can be the problem?...
A. 28 April 2006: Performance anxiety sounds like. Try to keep in mind that its a form of expression, not a rodeo. ;-)... (read in full...)
My mom told my dad that I'm not a virgin!
Q. My mom just told my dad that I'm not a virgin anymore. How can I talk to my dad about this? He's going to be fuming and I'm already angry at my mom for doing this without consulting me because if anything I should have been the one who told him ...
A. 28 April 2006: Well, we're all human here honey. I don't know how immortal your parents present themselves as, which I personally think its damaging. But if it were my daughter, I would NEVER tell her father. Its YOUR BODY, and I really don't think your even ... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to REALLY listen?
Q. I feel like when I try to talk to my boyfriend, when I am upset, he doesn't know how to listen empathetically, even though I know he is just confused and not sure what to do. He asks me "what do you want me to say?", but of course I don't want him ...
A. 28 April 2006: Some men won't listen unless there is a reason, or a problem they can help you solve. I would if I were you, stop beating my head up against that wall pronto and talk to someone else who is capable. If you are upset in his presence, he will sense it ... (read in full...)
How do you stop a bad influence?
Q. I know that if it is meant to be everything will work out. But how do you stop the friend that a bad influence and who is always there from destroying it?...
A. 28 April 2006: Ya know...too bad he already knows how much you dislike him because if you really want your bf to think twice about bringing him around, you could always say how cute he is or strong, etc so that he begins to view him as competition. Does your bf ... (read in full...)
How do you stop a bad influence?
Q. I know that if it is meant to be everything will work out. But how do you stop the friend that a bad influence and who is always there from destroying it?...
A. 27 April 2006: Guys pretend to be someone they are not just to win our affection all the time! I know this is not what you want to hear but you have to show them you are mature and selfless enough to accept them as they are. Doesn't mean he doesn't love u, isn't a ... (read in full...)
What do guys want? Quirky or normal?
Q. hi i am 15 and want to know what guys look for in a girl? do they want a girl tht is mad, funny and strange lol? do tht want a girl thts more normal and calm? plz tell me thanks ...
A. 26 April 2006: I know what she means. Some girls and even women never grasp this concept, but just continue to change themselves to suit whatever guy they are with. That never works long term and ends in heartbreak when they try to be or find themselves in the ... (read in full...)
Having an affair with a married man, feel used, What should I do?
Q. I am madly in love with a married man I work with and I don't know what to do. We were having an affair for two months, and I fell in love with him and told him this. He said that he felt the same but that he would never leave his wife for me, and ...
A. 26 April 2006: Umm, they are trying for a baby... Isn't that enough for you to walk away? Do you think he will be there for YOU if you turn up pregnant too? You weren't the first and you won't be the last affair for him. When he does email you why don't you ask ... (read in full...)
Trying to get over him...but it's painful. I'm texting him but am not sending. Good idea?
Q. Im trying to get over Derek but what seems to really hurt is him telling me not to contact me again. We did say to each other what ever happens we'll remain friends. We did have a good friendship. When he has been with women in the past, he always ...
A. 26 April 2006: Keep a journal if you have to but texting isn't gonna cut it for long. Take up a new hobby that really fills you up emotionally, preferrably a hobby to help you express and get this out. Some of our best work is done in through our worst pain.... (read in full...)
Does the ex wife want my bf back or was she just being nice? What do you all think?
Q. It was my boyfriends birthday at the weekend and his ex wife brought his 2 small children round to his so they could give him their presents. They only stayed 30 minutes but she spent about £50 on him from the kids and also gave him her own birthday ...
A. 26 April 2006: It depends on how fresh the divorce is. If it is, I wouldn't put it past her. Otherwise, I've been in the x-wifes shoes sort of but I didn't cheat. He left me. I would do silly things like that for my daughter's father when I was involved elsewhere ... (read in full...)
My sister in law is obbsessed with my husband and now im attraced to her husband. What should I do??
Q. Hi: I am a married woman wih an 18 month old daughter. I am pretty unhappy in my marriage in large part due to my overbearing know-no-boundaries inlaws, especially my sister in law. She is obsessed with her brother, my husband. As a conseque...
A. 26 April 2006: Well the only weird thing about that would be if your sister-in-law has kids with this guy. They would be cousins/step-siblings...and your doing this to try to leave the freakzone? Sounds like if you opt for this guy you may prepetuate it in a way. ... (read in full...)
He always throws our misunderstanding in my face!!
Q. My gay boyfriend and me had a slight misunderstanding where we were both missunderstood, and wrong impressions were given and we both got hurt. We planned to get together but family issues arose i didn't know what was happening at all as we were ...
A. 26 April 2006: Sounds like he wants to do what he wants on his terms and gets annoyed when given the 3rd degree. So, to make you think more about loosing him, then for him to have to come up with an excuse for his behavior, he plays the drama card and sounds like ... (read in full...)
How do I get space from my 'friend with benefits' so I can date this new girl??
Q. hey, I like this girl at work i am 16 and she is 17 im not sure what but as soon as i seen her for the first time i just liked her vibes and she is super cute and she has all of the qualities that im looking 4 but i have this problem. I was talking ...
A. 26 April 2006: She probably likes you, but being that she's sort of with someone she probably likes just the attention more so. Heck I still do. It could evolve into something more in time, but getting an answer from her now is not likely right now. So lets shift ... (read in full...)
I think I'm taking allergic reactions to my boyfriends cum, What should I do??
Q. I think I'm having an allergic reaction when I ingest my new man's cum. I've never experienced anything like this, so I'm tempted to believe that it's something about him causing my immune system to react this way. Within 3 hours after ...
A. 25 April 2006: I would question his sexual or urinal health. Definately look it up but, I believe certain bacterias (not always sexually transmitted) could cause this type of a reaction, especially diahrrea. I would go to the doctor to see if they can do a culture ... (read in full...)
How do you stop a bad influence?
Q. I know that if it is meant to be everything will work out. But how do you stop the friend that a bad influence and who is always there from destroying it?...
A. 25 April 2006: There is a such thing as free will. I believe if someone has tendencies to do something, they will do it eventually anyway. You could try to avoid it for now, but who's to say he won't gravitate, yes gravitate, toward another 'bad influence'. That ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is slowly deleting me from his life, What can I do??
Q. My boyfriend and I were dating and we exchanged the I love yous and he told me he was falling in love with me more and more each day and he would be so upset if we didn't get to talk. We talked everyday for hours on end and everynight when he would ...
A. 25 April 2006: I don't think he's going to worry much about you unless you stop paying attention to him. Then see.... (read in full...)
Recieving mixed signals from my ex, What does this mean??
Q. Hey guys, I am recieving mixed signals from my ex, who i have just got back in contact with. I am feeling all the lovey stuff i felt back then. My ex and i are both single and we are having sex. However we are not together. I want to admit my...
A. 25 April 2006: Sometimes the only way to get what you want with an ex or a current bf for that matter is to give them exactly what they want. So, he doesn't wanna go back down that road? Fine, let him have it! lol. Realizing your not gonna play games should change ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is almost perfect, except for hairy nipples...
Q. I have started dating a lovely girl. Perfect in almost every way except, she has quite hairy nipples. It's fine to say I should just ignore this little problem. However, how do I suggest that she might want to get rid of the hairs, without seeming ...
A. 24 April 2006: Whooh, you guys are scaring me. Nair on sensitive areas = hot sauce on your testies! I've got serious burns from that stuff. I do myself have hair in strange places, and mortified. I inspect my body everyday, tweeze, shave, use creams and refuse to ... (read in full...)
How do I understand his mixed signals?
Q. attention guys! I need your help. what does it mean when a guy sends some major mixed signals? I really liked this guy but he always refused to answer the question "do you want to be more than just friends?" yet told me once that he thinks abou...
A. 24 April 2006: Ok, I'm not a guy, but personally if I'm not his 'saturday night' then I consider myself a 'filler' to him. Is that where you want to be regardless of your feelings for him? You know he's into you cause he keeps coming back, but where does he go and ... (read in full...)
I pushed her away and finally dumped her but it is hurting my heart not to be able to hold her!!
Q. Here's the situation, I've been dating a girl for 8 months and I pushed her away by making her feel like other things in my life were more important, such as my job. I also talked to ex-girlfriends and said that that was important to me. At the ...
A. 24 April 2006: I had a similar situation, however it was over 4 yrs and way more severe. So, now your hurting and wanting her back like your house is on fire and she is water. If she comes back in a snap, would you give her the respect she deserves? Since its been ... (read in full...)
I feel like I do all the hot lovin' stuff in our relationship - how can I get my boyfriend more involved...
Q. I'm a very affectionate, spontenous person. When I'm with someone I like to show them that I desire them and adore them. It's the little things I do here and there without being overbearing. Little butt pats, a passing 'im gonna eat u up look' lol, ...
A. 21 April 2006: The light bulb just went on! YAYY! Must have been a language barrier cause once I said the magic words it clicked. I put it exactly as I did here. I said you blow me away when you open up to me completely and I haven't felt that of late...whats the ... (read in full...)
I feel like I do all the hot lovin' stuff in our relationship - how can I get my boyfriend more involved...
Q. I'm a very affectionate, spontenous person. When I'm with someone I like to show them that I desire them and adore them. It's the little things I do here and there without being overbearing. Little butt pats, a passing 'im gonna eat u up look' lol, ...
A. 21 April 2006: Thank you for your input Gryphon! I do know that about men, and try to not be that way because I know what a turn off that is. I didn't think I was being overbearing, but I guess right now it is. When I was like, 'come here' last night, he said well ... (read in full...)
I think my gf is seeing somebody else!!!
Q. I think my gf is seeing someone but i dont know...I've been going out with her for a little over a year now and i think she may be seeing someone else, i try to confront her and ask her about it but she always avoids it or leaves me with an answer ...
A. 20 April 2006: Follow your gut cowboy. Why are you letting it ride? What would you do if you got the truth and you were right? Are you afraid of pushing the envelope and losing her? Chances are she is avoiding the confrontation because she simply couldn't handle ... (read in full...)
When is enough actually enough!!
Q. Hi. I am 23 years old engaged and living with my fiancee for the past 2 years. We have no kids. Both of our families think that we are married and we wear wedding bands to show everyone as we are married. Yet, there was never any paper signed or ...
A. 18 April 2006: Well I find that the quicker you pull back the quicker they pull there little head out. May want to check your marriage motives tho. Is it about saving face w. your family? I don't understand what the rush is all about? I have a feeling you are ... (read in full...)
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