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female
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*hunky_monkey
writes: I know that if it is meant to be everything will work out. But how do you stop the friend that a bad influence and who is always there from destroying it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, prttymtlkitty +, writes (28 April 2006):
 Ya know...too bad he already knows how much you dislike him because if you really want your bf to think twice about bringing him around, you could always say how cute he is or strong, etc so that he begins to view him as competition. Does your bf has a jealous bone? I'm sure he does! Laugh at his jokes when they're zooted, tell him his outfit is nice, lol. Although you don't mean it, you could attain your objective as long as you didn't take it too far. I know that's down and dirty but thats the only thing I can think of that you can do without addressing your bf's behavior.
A
female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (28 April 2006):
chunky_monkey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried to me more accepting but these bad influences have causes troubles in our relationship as my bf as you could put it, does "stupid" things with him. Some that are bad. Like my bf knew smoking kills and wasnt a smoker. But because his friend is he wanted to be social with him and started smoking occaionally. And then didnt tell me for 4 months and stopped and then didn't tell me about smoking and stopping until 3 months after that. Up until recently he was away at school were he met this friend and i only got to see him every second weekend. These stupid acts to be social end up hurting. I have already given him a ultaminat about smoking or lying to me agian. And now he is true to his word. I could never leave him as he is the best to me and we plan to marry. I just don't want this bad infleunce from school to move here when he was supposed to move somewheres else. I want this to all stop, i am tired of the friend. I need help.
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A
female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (28 April 2006):
chunky_monkey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried to me more accepting but these bad influences have causes troubles in our relationship as my bf as you could put it, does "stupid" things with him. Some that are bad. Like my bf knew smoking kills and wasnt a smoker. But because his friend is he wanted to be social with him and started smoking occaionally. And then didnt tell me for 4 months and stopped and then didn't tell me about smoking and stopping until 3 months after that. Up until recently he was away at school were he met this friend and i only got to see him every second weekend. These stupid acts to be social end up hurting. I have already given him a ultaminat about smoking or lying to me agian. And now he is true to his word. I could never leave him as he is the best to me and we plan to marry. I just don't want this bad infleunce from school to move here when he was supposed to move somewheres else. I want this to all stop, i am tired of the friend. I need help.
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A
female
reader, prttymtlkitty +, writes (27 April 2006):
Guys pretend to be someone they are not just to win our affection all the time! I know this is not what you want to hear but you have to show them you are mature and selfless enough to accept them as they are. Doesn't mean he doesn't love u, isn't a good guy ,etc ,etc. Who they are around their buddies should be consistent if they aren't putting on an act to please. So, does your boyfriend plead temporary insanity when his friend is around? Since your boyfriend is an active participant in allowing this to happen your choices seem a bit more limited.
1)become more accepting and love him unconditionally
2)leave him or give him an ultimatum
3)as a couple, move elsewhere if his friend comes back.
Either way, good luck!
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A
female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (26 April 2006):
chunky_monkey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is the best person to me when i am just with him. He is the best when he comes home from school to see me, about 5 hour drive. He lied to me for 4 months to be social with this bad influence. I forgave him for it but its hard to forget. I feel like i didn't have my guards up and shit happened. Now i refuse to let them down. My heart broke when trust was broken because of the lying. My boyfriend knows this and tells me that and promises it won't happen again. He also knows i don't like the friend much and was quite happy when the friend was supposed to move somewheres else. Then suddenly I was told that he was moving her and i don't know what to do. i don't trust this friend and i know he is a bad influence on my boyfriend. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. For more than a year no problems happened and no fighting. Since issues like this that always seem to invole the friend we have fought a lot more. It has almost got to the point of a break because of miss communication between us but we both don't want that. WE have this agreement that it won't ever get to that point but yet we keep on fighting. We want a future and this guy who just causes problems is moving here and causing problems. I am tired of this. I want him out, I was here before him and i will be after. I don't care if this friend hates me afterwards i just want him out. I need help.
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A
female
reader, prttymtlkitty +, writes (25 April 2006):
There is a such thing as free will. I believe if someone has tendencies to do something, they will do it eventually anyway. You could try to avoid it for now, but who's to say he won't gravitate, yes gravitate, toward another 'bad influence'. That says more about his true self then the influence. Take a good look at him before you misplace blame. You don't have to put up with it either.
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