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male
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anonymous
writes: Here's the situation, I've been dating a girl for 8 months and I pushed her away by making her feel like other things in my life were more important, such as my job. I also talked to ex-girlfriends and said that that was important to me. At the time these things such as my work seemed to mean more to me, but they really didn't at all. These things were used to keep from getting to close, well it worked. The problem is I was scared, scared of loving, scared of caring because for the past couple of years I've been moving around so relationships were short and I was really getting hurt because I always had to leave. What I make seem didn't hurt, like breaking up all the time, really did. I moved about an hour away for a job but I come home every weekend. The girl said that the distance was going to be a problem and that's where more fear was put into me. I didn't want to get hurt so I pushed even more and last week I broke up with her. It was a complete mistake and I regret doing it, I've tried going back on my knees but she wants to keep apart. She says she needs time. I need this girl back and I don't know what to do, I've realized what's really important. I would marry this girl. Does anybody know what I can do? It's hurting my heart not to be able to hold her. Please help me!
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female
reader, prttymtlkitty +, writes (24 April 2006):
 I had a similar situation, however it was over 4 yrs and way more severe. So, now your hurting and wanting her back like your house is on fire and she is water. If she comes back in a snap, would you give her the respect she deserves? Since its been about you, do you know what she wants? Could you give her what she wants? Likewise, if you don't give her time she may resent you too much and either not treat you right or leave. I just went through all this and it would have been nice to have some air. Making a snap decision out of insecurity would not be fair to either one of you in the long run oppposed to expecting certainty now. Expressing your love is fine but pushing your wishes now, just prepetuates the selfishness that got you here to begin with so where do you think it will get you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006): IN a way good for you. imagine what she was feeling through out those 8months? You made her feel unimportant, that you didn't have the time of day for her, making her feel insecure about herself, and you still called your ex's and said that they were important? Who do you think you are by playing with her feelings? No one has the right to do that. and buddy im glad that you're regreting it, because i know it takes time to get over something like this? What if you hurt her again, and yourself too. You should have thought about this relationship before you made her feel like nothing. If she comes back to you then i hope she gets stronger and don't ever make someone feel that they're unimportant.
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A
female
reader, saturna +, writes (24 April 2006):
If you truly, honestly love this girl, then you two need to sit down and talk to each other about your relationship. Be honest with her, tell her why you tried to push her away, that you were scared to let yourself love her but now you know you can't be without her. She is probably feeling hurt just as you are and if she needs it, give her some space and some time to think about what you mean to her. If this is really the girl for you then you need to have a truly honest, meaningful talk with her and if she loves you the way you love her, then she will forgive you for pushing her away and accept you now.Best wishes, I hope you find true, reciprocated love!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006): If you truly, honestly love this girl and you believe that she loves you too, then you need to sit her down and have an honest talk with her. Tell her why you tried to push her away, that you were scared but you know that she is what you want. Let her know how much she means to you. She may just want some time to cool down and reflect on what you mean to her, so give her some space if she asks. If she really is right for you then things will fall back into place.Best wishes, I hope you find true and reciprocated love.
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