Is my friend (rightfully) angry since she hasn’t answered my email for days?
Q. A decade ago my hubby and I moved to one of the most beautiful and touristic cities in Europe. We knew that our friends would visit. And they did. One more than others, let’s call her K. She’s smart, witty, sociable, makes friends easily … and she ...
A. 29 September 2015: Thank you so much WiseOwlE and Tisha-l! I've just seen your answers. I've been working on setting boundaries for some time, since it's not something I learned when I was supposed to. And it's not easy, but the older I get the more comforta... (read in full...)
Is my friend (rightfully) angry since she hasn’t answered my email for days?
Q. A decade ago my hubby and I moved to one of the most beautiful and touristic cities in Europe. We knew that our friends would visit. And they did. One more than others, let’s call her K. She’s smart, witty, sociable, makes friends easily … and she ...
A. 14 September 2015: I posted a reply, but maybe something went wrong and it didn't get published.
THANK you ALL so much for yoru replies. They gave me a needed change of perspective.
I did get a reply from my friend. She was obviusly surprised, maybe a little b... (read in full...)
Is my friend (rightfully) angry since she hasn’t answered my email for days?
Q. A decade ago my hubby and I moved to one of the most beautiful and touristic cities in Europe. We knew that our friends would visit. And they did. One more than others, let’s call her K. She’s smart, witty, sociable, makes friends easily … and she ...
A. 14 September 2015: I posted a reply, but maybe something went wrong and it didn't get published. THANK you ALL so much for yoru replies. They gave me a needed change of perspective. I did get a reply from my friend. She was obviusly surprised, maybe a litt... (read in full...)
I don't see my boyfriend and I moving in together should I walk away?
Q. I don't think my boyfriend and I will move in together, should I walk away ?. He has bipolar disorder. He recently moved into a new place. He doesn't seem to want to move in with me, and it could be difficult to live with him, as he has so many mood ...
A. 5 November 2014: Dating someone whose bipolar is difficult, but not impossible. Living with that person is more difficult than just dating them. First of all you must at all cost avoid being his shrink. You are not there to cure him. You have to be strong and don'... (read in full...)
Advice on what a break means.
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years. However, out of the blue, she sent a text message asking for a break. She said she didn't want things to end, just a short break. It was not stemmed from a fight and she made it clear she still ...
A. 5 November 2014: I agree with chigirl. A break means no relatinship stuff.
There's just one small problem. I understand that sometimes people need time for themselves, especially if there are some big decisions to be made.
But, if it's just a break for no reason..... (read in full...)
How do I help my friend who keeps getting involved with the wrong men!
Q. Hi, I need advice on how to better understand and help a close friend of mine, to whom I’ve been an agony aunt since our teenage years. First of all, I’m not super-woman. I’ve had my own share of heartbreak and loneliness. It just happened that som...
A. 19 July 2013: Dear WiseOwlE, thank you so much for your advice! She refuses to seek professional help and always finds a no-money/no-time reason. However she always has both for e.g. astrologists or healers. I'm not saying that it's a complete rubbish. It... (read in full...)
Friend wants to visit with her husband, and I don't want him in my home
Q. My best friend wants to visit me, but she's invited her husband (without saying anything to me) and I don't like him! I haven't seen my best friend in about 4 years, she wants to visit me this Fall, but her husband is jealous, and doesn't trust he...
A. 18 July 2013: As far as I understood, it was your friend who wanted to come alone for a visit in the first place.
As you never told her how you felt about her husband (which is completely understandable) she couldn't have guessed that her inviting him to come... (read in full...)
Am I just not date-able?
Q. I have been single for a year now and I am starting to get really frustrated with it. I am a attractive and interesting 22 year old girl. I am over weight, but I, and other guys I know find my body very sexy because of it's shape; I'm very hour ...
A. 18 July 2013: I agree with the previous post.
You are still very young and being single is not such a bad thing. it gives you time to work on yourself, improve yourself but not for a potential significant other, but for your own sake.
When you say that you... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I'm going to ruin this fantastic friendship but I feel like after wanting him for this long, I need to know how he feels.
Q. I apologize in advance. This is a very lengthy question, but I feel it's really complicated so I shouldn't spare any important details. I am completely hooked on my best guy friend (Andy). He makes me smile and laugh all the time and I spend...
A. 21 December 2008: In this situation people usually regret when they don't express their true feelings. I was on the other side of the "problem" so to speak. I was with a guy (a complicated story) and we had this moment in our lives when we could have done something ... (read in full...)
I feel like my world has been crushed, all our wedding plans have been made.
Q. I had been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years and we got engaged last Christmas. He also moved in with me around the same time and we were never happier. Around 4 months ago he started to get down and depressed, we put it down to money worries, ...
A. 16 December 2008: It's hard to offer impartial advice, because from what you've said he sounds like someone who's definitely not to be trusted. He lied to you for months and now he wants you back? If he doesn't know why he did it, how can you even begin to understand ... (read in full...)
How do I repair this relationship?
Q. I relocated to New Zealand with my fiance and 4 month old baby from South Africa. On coming here, I thought I would find a job quickly but it has not been the case as my skills are very specific to the SA market. As a result, I have been very down ...
A. 15 December 2008: p.s. I forgot to mention that my husband was very verbally abusive throughout my difficult time, which made me feel even more like a looser. Part of the problem was that back in my country everything was different I was the one who worked and earned ... (read in full...)
How do I repair this relationship?
Q. I relocated to New Zealand with my fiance and 4 month old baby from South Africa. On coming here, I thought I would find a job quickly but it has not been the case as my skills are very specific to the SA market. As a result, I have been very down ...
A. 15 December 2008: I have a very similar problem, except for the fact that I'm married with no children. I relocated to a country where I had to start from less than zero. I had to learn the language (still struggling) and work illegally (still do because I haven't ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm letting people down whatever I do... Help!
Q. Hi - really stuck at the moment feel pretty desperate about my situation. I have a (very) long distance relationship with my boyfriend (3 years total) and we are very much in love. We have only managed to see each other twice in the last 18 months ...
A. 9 December 2008: I'm so sorry for your grandma. It's terrible. A difficult choice ... nobody can tell you what to do. I can only speak for myself when I say that I'd stay with my grandma. My reasons for doing so would be that I have a whole life in front of me to ... (read in full...)
Is it more important to live up to the commitment I have made to my family or to live my life to the fullest and find true love elsewhere?
Q. I have been with my partner for 20 years. We dated 4 years and have been married 15. We have children... I have a nice life. I love my children, and my husband. But I am not in love with my husband. And honestly, do not know that I ever have been in ...
A. 8 December 2008: If you're so sure about your feelings, than you have to leave. Unless your husband has been aware of your doubts, this whole relationship was somewhat unfair to him too. Why spend the rest of your life with someone you don't love that way, when you ... (read in full...)
What if the guy tells that I had sex with him while drunk? I feel so ashamed!
Q. Ok here is what happened. This weekend I went to my cousin's family party and in there I got super drunk! I got so drunk I forgot everything. All I know is that I had unprotected sex in the bathroom! I feel so ashamed I want to dissapear and what if ...
A. 8 December 2008: These thing's happen. You're not the first. Even if they do find out, their shock, if any, won't last long. You have one option: be strong and simply don't be embarrassed about it! At this moment you have a much more important issue to deal with - ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is showing me inconsistant affection alternating with abuse
Q. Im at a dead end, and am so confused on what to do. Im pregnant and am living with my boyfriend who is the father. We both want the baby. The thing is he is being so nasty towards me, he will call me names make me feel like trash and overreacts over ...
A. 8 December 2008: Seek support from your friends and family and get out right now. It can only get worse. Abuse has many forms, don't be fooled by his kind words and appologies. You must protect yourself and your child. I wish you all the best.... (read in full...)
Need help with the same old situation!
Q. Okay heres the deal, my problem is the typical I love her she sees me as a friend you know but I have been in this situation many times now, but I feel more strongly for this certain girl than any other. I have known her for roughly 2-3 years and I ...
A. 7 December 2008: I was in the situation you described a couple of times. Except that I was on the other side. I have to addmit that I wasn't interessted in that way in my friends and I wanted our friendship to stay on that level. I could tell that they wanted more. ... (read in full...)
Does he feel guilty about the way he treated me?
Q. I was with my ex for 2 months before he split with me for someone else back in august. I was in love with him so this was heartbreaking for me. 2 weeks later I find that Im pregnant by him. He didnt want to know and so I had an abortion as Im too ...
A. 7 December 2008: Read your letter as if someone else had written it. Let's say your best friend. Would you support her decision to try to contact him and prolong the pain? Ask yourself if you can really love a man who left a woman, didn't care about her feelings ... (read in full...)
How can I break his heart into tiny little pieces?
Q. Hey I'd really like a male perspective on my problem but would also appreciate female feedback as well... I've been in an on and off again realtionship with my daughter's father, during one of our "breakups" he decided to go and have another ...
A. 5 December 2008: He's a bastard, right? You hate his guts? You want him to suffer? You think that would make you feel better? You'd earn back your self-respect? This way of negative thinking is just a phase. But you have to get out of that dark hole as soon as ... (read in full...)
What do I do to prove to her that O will never lie to her or cheat on her again?
Q. Hello, I'm having a problem with my girlfriend and it's all my fault, since a year now that we started this relationship, I've cheated on her and lied without knowing the reason why I did all this to her, though I lied because I don't want to lose ...
A. 5 December 2008: We all know the rules and yet we all make mistakes. The worst thing is if we don't learn from them and don't change.
In order to be completely honest with her, you have to do some soulsearching and be honest with yourself. Why did you cheat on her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have the perfect relationship.. except I'm wondering if he might be abusive.
Q. Okay, this is really hard for me to ask, and I really need some outside advice and opinions. My boyfriend and I are pretty much the ideal couple. I'm not just saying that, we really are. We would never lie to each other, we are best friends, we...
A. 4 December 2008: Imagine yourself, let's say, 10 years from now. Where and how do you see yourself?
Maybe this little piece of experience of someone who has been dealing with abusive behaviour for the past 16 years, more or less, can help you decide where you don'... (read in full...)
He's got no secrets from me but it still feels wrong to spy and check up on him.
Q. I have been with my man for about 4 and a half years. about 2 months ago his ex fience found him on facebook, then started calling my house. She stopped for a while but the other day she stared messaging him and everytime I entered the room he would ...
A. 4 December 2008: I'm sorry you have this feeling of guilt and I agree with thatgothgirl2. Knowledge is power. You have the right to know. Just be sure to get to the bottom of things. Those who lie, usually continue to do so hiding behind half-lies until finally ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after he cheated with my NIECE?
Q. I've been married for almost 4 years. My husband cheated on me 2mts into the marriage with my niece. Yes, my niece. I forgave him and I thought we were growing together. Come to find out he cheated on me again with a women I don't know and got ...
A. 4 December 2008: I was really touched by your story. But unlike for many I've heard so far, I think that YOU CAN solve the problem. Staying in this relationship proved to be very wrong for you and has brought you nothing by pain. He's obviously not trustworthy. As ... (read in full...)
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