A
female
age
51-59,
*onella
writes:I have been with my partner for 20 years. We dated 4 years and have been married 15. We have children... I have a nice life. I love my children, and my husband. But I am not in love with my husband. And honestly, do not know that I ever have been in love with him. I have never felt that spark or burning desire for him. But I have a deep respect and love for him. But more that of a family member, not life partner. I can not imagine my life without him. He is a wonderful father and good friend to me. ...But again, the obvious... I have recently met someone that I feel that burning desire for, my heart races at the thought of him. It is not someone that I could have even if I wanted him so I know that it will never come to be. However, it has made me feel alive and also made me keenly aware of what I have been missing for HALF my life.(I am 40)It has made me stop and wonder what is important. Is it more important to live up to the commitment that I have made to my family or more important to live my life to the fullest and find true love somewhere. For so many years I told myself it didn't matter. Security and comfort were more important, but now, I just do not know. I in no way want to leave my husband for this other man... HE has just been the catalyst for me wondering what is important in life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): You must know, that, this ''spark'' you talk about will be gone, and than the question is, is it still good to warm up beside the ashes, or it will be cold and cruel.
Be mature, and wise. Not the comfort, but the future is the most important part. How many times we fall in love and out?
It is too dangerous I think.
A
female
reader, mightaphodite +, writes (8 December 2008):
If you're so sure about your feelings, than you have to leave. Unless your husband has been aware of your doubts, this whole relationship was somewhat unfair to him too. Why spend the rest of your life with someone you don't love that way, when you can be free to meet someone who could make you feel like you've never felt before. We don't have much time, so make your decision and act accordingly. If you stay true to yourself, you won't regret it. Imagine yourself in your 50's, do you still want to wake up with him? Maybe if your honest with him, you could remain friends...Be strong and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Neeraj060  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 what is true love?
That is the first thing you should be asking yourself.If you fell like you want to be with someone and you wanna spend the rest of your life with him and die along side with him...think again.
What if you leave your loving husband and kids and latter find out that the guy you wantted so much is not so likeable after all?
I would out of all think counselling first as Ebony truly said.
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A
female
reader, Missy3 +, writes (8 December 2008):
I understand exactly where you are coming from. I am separated with one child. I am not in love with my husband anymore. I have met someone also and I feel that spark and connection with him that I never felt with my husband. I think that you only live once and you should have no regrets. I want to live my life to the fullest and love to the fullest, so that is what I plan to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Hmm... if you are really not satisfied in your relationship, I would first recommend counselling. If that doesn't work, then maybe you should consider a divorce. Also how old are your children? As break-ups often affect older children more than younger ones. But I would just try counselling first, you obviously do care about your husband =]
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