A
female
age
36-40,
*hrissy1986
writes:I have been with my man for about 4 and a half years. about 2 months ago his ex fience found him on facebook, then started calling my house. She stopped for a while but the other day she stared messaging him and everytime I entered the room he would close the conversation window so I couldn't see what either of them were wrighting. So I logged on to his account and set the option to save all his converstaions to a hidden folder on the computer for me to read later. I also need to mention that we don't hide anything from eachother we know all of eachothers account logins and passwords. Was this wrong of me to do or do you think that there is more that i should be doing? Any feedback on this would be greatly apretiated.
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facebook, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mightaphodite  +, writes (4 December 2008):
I'm sorry you have this feeling of guilt and I agree with thatgothgirl2. Knowledge is power. You have the right to know. Just be sure to get to the bottom of things. Those who lie, usually continue to do so hiding behind half-lies until finally faced with facts. I hope everything goes well for you both! Good luck!
A
female
reader, Chrissy1986 +, writes (4 December 2008):
Chrissy1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you I never looked at it that way.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (4 December 2008):
 I hope all goes well for you. He might've told her to leave him alone on the phone or something, but then continued talking to her on messenger. He may be giving her mixed signals, because he feels sorry for her or something.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Chrissy1986 +, writes (2 December 2008):
Chrissy1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Amanda fir the advice I will defintaely give it a try.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (2 December 2008):
Regardless of whether it was "morally" wrong or not, knowledge is power. I'm sorry this happened. My husband has had ex's trying to contact him before as well, and he has told them to go away. One wouldn't even believe that he was married, so I told her the number of the certificate on file.
Well you have the evidence on hand. What are some of the things he has been saying to her? Are they bad? And if they are not, you need to still present this evidence to him, and say, "Nowhere did I find in these messages you saying 'Leave me and my family alone.'" Tell him that you wish he'd be more honest with you.
Sorry you had to go through this mess.
Best wishes,
Amanda
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A
female
reader, Chrissy1986 +, writes (2 December 2008):
Chrissy1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have talked to him about it and all he said was taht i was imagining things and he wasnt even talking to her. He further went on to tell me that 2 months ago he told her to leave him and his family alone. If that was the case i wouldnt care but the fact he is lying to my face about it upsets me. I also have all my conversations saved in an open file where he can read them anytime that he wants to.
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A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (2 December 2008):
 Those are his private conversations, so yes, you were wrong to do that. If you have problems trusting him, you need to address those issues WITH him...not by spying on him behind his back. Good luck =]
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