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*NKlives

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How do I choose between two girls that like me without hurting anyone?

Q.   See, well I liked this girl(C) and she liked me back. But after a while we grew apart but I still have feelings for her. And there's this other girl who I kinda like as well (I)she likes me back too. But I the first girl wants me back and I cant ...

A.   19 September 2008: There isn't very much information here but whenever I can't figure out something I make a list of pro's and con's. So make a column for C and one for I and under it make a list of pro's and a list of con's. Here is where it becomes tricky, you need ... (read in full...)

Should money get in the way of old friendships?

Q.   I have a dear, dear friend whom I just love being with. We are much on the same wavelength. Problem is, she has gotten richer while I've gotten poorer. I don't want money to come between us. Recently i made the mistake of asking her for money, whic...

A.   17 September 2008: Money is a touchy subject. Did you tell her you would pay it back and exactly why you needed to borrow the money? Was the money for something that you needed or wanted? Is it to feed yourself or to buy new shoes?? I wouldn't dare ask for money ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for my breasts to be itching me so much?

Q.   I'm a teenage girl of 14 and I was wondering if it was normal to have my tits itchy... I never had sexual relations and I don't know why I've got this problem. Sometimes it's really itchy and I get some blotches. I use some cream and it makes me f...

A.   17 September 2008: Could be really dry skin or they could be growing. They could also be blotchy because you are scratching. I suggest cocoa butter, every night before you go to bed.. if the problem persists you may have an allergy. It doesn't matter if you haven't ... (read in full...)

He couldn't stay hard for a minute without it slipping out. What's his problem?

Q.   Last night I tried to have sex with a guy who I really like. Every time he tried to get it up he couldn't. He went down on me which was good. He held me all night, but when he tried he couldnt stay hard for a minute without it slipping out. I was ...

A.   17 September 2008: There are lots of reasons this could happen to a guy...alcohol, nervous, tired...I would just chalk it up to the first time awkwardness and try again..if it continues then I would GENTLY mention it...maybe you just make him really nervous. :)... (read in full...)

Why do so many people believe in the 'no contact' rule after a bad relationship?

Q.   Why do so many people believe in the no contact rule after a bad relationship? Or if they had just gotten their hearts broken? Why shouldn't we contact them? And if we were to contact them.. would that be such a bad thing?...

A.   17 September 2008: I am friends with many of my ex's, I have a really good ability to let go of the past though..I think this just depends on the person..... (read in full...)

What can I start a conversation about, just to get talking to this girl I really like?

Q.   well basicallyy theres a girl at school that i like but we don't really know eachother, and i'm kinda falling for her :/ and really dont know why. but shes always with her friends so i cant go make conversation with just her. Also she is in the ...

A.   17 September 2008: awh! I love this. Well is she in any clubs that you can join? What is she involved in? I would just try and be in the same social cirle as her then casually, when you are standing in the same group, introduce yourself to her (and anyone else in the ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend did not call me on my birthday-Am I reading too much into the situation?

Q.   Hi, My boyfriend did not call me on my birthday. I wouldn't want to say that he "forgot" because that just might not be the case. Me and my boyfriend are in this long-distance relationship, me being in NY and he being in London. I had my birthday ...

A.   17 September 2008: Is it normal for you two to not talk this long? If not, I would say he was too scared to break up with you, so did what a lot of men do...just act really bad until you do the dirty work. Why would you want that? He should be celebrating your ... (read in full...)

I'm still in love with my boyfriend, and I believe he's in love with me but the distance that is growing between us recently, drives me closer to another boy. Any advice?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for more than a year now, and I really believe we are in love. However, lately, he has been neglecting to call me much and when he does, he's usually watching TV or doing something online and barely pays attention. So a ...

A.   17 September 2008: Well, sounds like you have left the honeymoon stage, the beginning of a relationship that is all perfect and fluffy. He is a man, he watches TV, he can't talk and watch TV at the same time. I am sure he isn't doing this on purpose. If you started ... (read in full...)

I'm so sad and desperate.How do I get over him?

Q.   I fall in love with someone who will never love me back. But I just do not want to give him up, even I konw that I should. It's so hard for me. Sometimes we meet and I had the most romantic time with him. It's the most painful when we had to p...

A.   17 September 2008: It is hard, I know. The best way to get over someone is to keep yourself busy. Go out with your girlfriends, rent movies, read magazines and books. Eventually when you get used to him not being there life will get back to normal. It just takes time ... (read in full...)

Too embarassed to buy a std test thinking about stealing one next time I'm in the store!

Q.   i think i might have a disease. i wont go to the doctor but somethings also make me believe i dont have one ill have a brownish color string stuff come out of me like when im fingering myself.. the usualy white stuff comes out along with a little ...

A.   17 September 2008: I understand you being embarrassed about having an STD, honestly it just sounds like the lining of your vagina shedding, it does that and can sometimes leave a funny discharge, also the stimulation can sometimes make you bleed a little bit. When ... (read in full...)

My ex husband abused me and my children, I am still dealing with the after effects of his abuse and I finally want to confront him! Any ideas?

Q.   i am going to do a very brave thing and confront my abuser. as from 2 weeks ago he is now my ex husband but i am still dealing with the after effects of what he put me and my our kids through. i feel so much anger as he abused me emotionally and ...

A.   17 September 2008: You book says the way you deal with this is give them a dose of their own medicine....guess what...you DON'T have to deal with it anymore...so don't. I would recommend going to counseling, maybe group conseling, with role playing. This is highly e... (read in full...)

My Girlfriend is a bitch...Or is it me?

Q.   Well to start, my girlfriend blows up into a bitch at any chance, shes been diagnosed with depression a couple years ago. She gets 'stressed out' extremely easily. Today, I get to class and my class is cancelled. So talking on MSN at my school, I ...

A.   17 September 2008: She just sounds young. I don't think she is a "bitch" maybe a little insecure and needy. I would just have a talk with her, tonight, after everything has died down, and let her know how you feel and then you both can talk about ways to make it ... (read in full...)

Should I talk to him about what happened or shall I just let it go?

Q.   I just got back with my husband after he told me he made me and the kids unhappy. 4 days ago he was talking about get separated because he felt I wanted him to change and he said he couldn't. We have to kids young children. A very close fri...

A.   17 September 2008: I would talk about it. I would put EVERYTHING on the table and just have it all out then let it go....... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is willing to do anything just to clear her face of acne, and it's causing problems between us.

Q.   Am I really being selfish? My girlfriend of nearly 2 years is currently on the pill, and has been since nearly the beginning of our relationship. The problem is she is 23 and almost 24, and she still has achne break outs, and feels she is missing ...

A.   17 September 2008: Acne can effect ones self esteem so I understand why she would want to clear it up. She needs to go back to her doctor and get on a pill that does both, I am on a version of Yaz (birth control) that helps with bloating, pms AND acne. It is aobut $55 ... (read in full...)

My heart won't let me love anybody else but him. He on the other hand, can't love only me? He's the biggest flirt!

Q.   I've been in this relationship for 12 years. Let me explain how much I love this man. He's my first love. You know that ride or die type of love? The one that blurs what's wrong and right just as long as you're together. He's always been my K...

A.   17 September 2008: I PROMISE this will help. There is a book, easy read, it is called The 4 Agreements (Michael Ruiz, I think that's how you spell his name). It is $9.73 on Amazon.com ... (read in full...)

How can I get my teacher fired as she is real nasty to the students?

Q.   Sorry this isnt a relationship question but i really need advice. This is a long story that goes over two years so ill cut it short. Well i am at a course for literacy numeracy and helping to get into work. It was going great and i got heaps of ...

A.   17 September 2008: I would just tell the truth to her boss. It is out of your hands at that point and you've done your part. I was in a situation where our boss taking advantage of us. I was the only one brave enough to stand up for our team. I called his boss and HR ... (read in full...)

My wife kissed her friend in front of me. Am I crazy to have allowed it? Is it normal seeing that they've been friends for 8 years?

Q.   My wife and I have a close friend...his name is John. John spends a lot of time with us. He's single and hangs out with us a lot. He and my wife are taking a class together and they often work out together. Last night, we took John to the ...

A.   17 September 2008: I would be very offended, but that is because I know my boyfriends personality, and it isn't to act that way. I've dated other men that wouldn't offend me if the pecked another girl..but that is because I know it was their personality...a long kiss ... (read in full...)

What kind of present can I buy her, now that I'm employed?

Q.   Hi I’ am 19 years and going to have a date with my 18 years girlfriend and I don’t know which gift to buy her. We have being dating since February 2007 and now I want to buy her something special because I’m now employed. I am going to meet at the ...

A.   17 September 2008: I would say something she can always have with her. Maybe a bracelet, or necklace. Something small but that will always remind her of you...good luck! :)... (read in full...)

Does love involve belonging to your partner?

Q.   I would like an opinion here... Would you say that love involves belonging to someone else? In soul/heart? In body?...

A.   17 September 2008: Not at all, I actually think that this may be a negative way to look at love. If you think love is belonging to someone else then your happiness relies on them. You can't give someone else those responsibilites. You can give YOUR love to someone ... (read in full...)

What to do about my lying boyfriend? He blamed it on me that he created a dating account! Do I believe him?

Q.   right so i'l try and make this short, basically me and my boyfriend nearly split up about 2 weeks ago and it was his choice he was saying he doesn't know wether he wants me or loves me anymore and we came to a decision that we were going to give it ...

A.   17 September 2008: I say move on. If he is pretending to be single of websites then he isn't truly happy. If he is making you delete your profile on websites that he has profiles on, then he is hiding something. I know when you have emotions for someone you don't see ... (read in full...)

I made him move out and her's was the only place he could go, we're back together now but she's pregnant, how do I accept this?

Q.   Me and my partner have been together eleven years. he recently had his head turned by someone at work. I made him move out and she was the only place he could go. After a few weeks he knew he had made a mistake and i accepted him back but now she ...

A.   17 September 2008: It is hard for me to believe that she was the ONLY place for him to go....well nevermind, I DON'T believe that. It is great that you've accepted his apology but don't act like he didn't go live with another female and get her pregnant. It takes two ... (read in full...)

I want to focus on my marriage but how can I carry on with my life without feeling resentful towards the man I had an affair with?

Q.   I am married and very stupidly had a brief relationship with another man a couple of months ago. We were going through a very rocky patch in our marriage and although that isn't an excuse, I feel it was a way of escaping it. The other man is now ...

A.   17 September 2008: WHO CARES WHAT HE THINKS!!? Ok, sometimes we need someone to give us a little tough love... He knew you were married. You were a safe way for him to hook up and it not get messy. He is off to his next girl...let him be. Why are you trying to contact ... (read in full...)

Any advice other than "aw, you need to trust him" which is what my friends have said?

Q.   This is a sort of odd situation. I've considered myself a lesbian my entire life. When I was 15 I told my mother that i wasn't interested in boys, but that there was a girl I liked and she freaked out. She instantly insisted that I start to date ...

A.   17 September 2008: Doesn't sound like you were seeing the right person, and I completely understand about running out of money. ;) My suggestion would be to look up any large churches in your area or non profit counseling organizations. They usually have options for ... (read in full...)

I am worried how my being overweight will affect my relationships in the future. What can I do to increase my chances?

Q.   I have posted questions previously about how I worry about how my appearance will affect my relationships in the future. Quick reminder - I am nineteen years old, six foot dark hair blue eyes. My close female friends say I'm sweet and kind and lov...

A.   16 September 2008: I think unconditional love it just that..unconditional. I am worried however for your health. Have you been to a doctor about being overweight? I am sure it will all work out for you but right now you need to focus on getting healthy and maybe some ... (read in full...)

How do you make love to a very large guy?

Q.   This may sound so stupid but...........I need to know, my boyfriend is overweight a very large tummy and I'm thin. Oh my gosh I'm so embarresed to ask but how do you make love to a very large guy, his tummy gets in the way. And he's not very well ...

A.   16 September 2008: ?? I've never been in this position (pun intended, haah) I would guess he would know (unless it is a first for both). I say experiment! GOOD LUCK!... (read in full...)

What are some examples of playful banter?

Q.   what is some examples of playful banter? i ask this because this girl that i like alot says the playful banter is a huge turn on. i dont want to ask her what it means because then i would sound like an idiot. please help me...

A.   16 September 2008: well it depends on what she is talking about.. playful banter is like flirting on a playground... you tease the girl you like (but be nice!) ..you are playfulling giving her a hard time if you will...... (read in full...)

Why wont he respond to my booty call?

Q.   When you have slept with someone 2 times and both know it is just for sex.. then why would he not respond to my booty call? The sex was great and he is definately not in a relationship. help. ...

A.   16 September 2008: sounds like you developed feelings...which is lesson 101 for a "booty call" no feelings. You wouldn't care otherwise..I would leave it alone and try and heal and move on to something more meaningful. Good luck..... (read in full...)

How do you find a decent man? One who doesn't just want you for sex?

Q.   How do you find a decent man? who doesnt just want you for sex? How do you know when they are telling the truth and not just trying to get into your knickers? coz I dont have a clue, and neither does anyone else I know. Please help, Im starting to f...

A.   16 September 2008: simple...don't sleep with him for at least 2 months. If he just wants sex, he will be gone, if he waits, he likes you..try it.... (read in full...)

I keep thinking that I'm missing something in my current relationship.

Q.   I was wondering if someone can help me. I cannot seem to keep thinking about my ex girlfriend. I have been dating another girl, and though I do not believe in cheating - I feel like I am, because I keep thinking about my ex girlfriend? I keep thi...

A.   16 September 2008: Well you can do the "why" game...super easy and very very very effective. Your why question is "Why do you think you are missing something...." When you answer that put another why in front of it...(Ex: if your answer is because you miss your ex ... (read in full...)

7 months pregnant and have to deal with the fact that he wants to keep nude pics of him and his ex! Advice?

Q.   Hi there I am 7 months pregnant, it has been a hard pregnancy as my partner and I were not together when I got pregnant but when all was decided we decided to give it a go... again. Our relationship of 2.5 years has a tough one as he was still ...

A.   16 September 2008:  He needs to get rid of the pictures. He is holding on to them in case you don't work out?? What a line! Something like this happened with my current boyfriend...he was offended too and called me a snoop (I'm not, I can't stand a snoop) so we yelled ... (read in full...)

Any advice other than "aw, you need to trust him" which is what my friends have said?

Q.   This is a sort of odd situation. I've considered myself a lesbian my entire life. When I was 15 I told my mother that i wasn't interested in boys, but that there was a girl I liked and she freaked out. She instantly insisted that I start to date ...

A.   16 September 2008: DON'T constantly talk about your feelings. Just don't. He gave you confirmation that he likes you..now just be that cool chick that he met. Guys can't stand when they meet someone cool then that person starts changing (even though we do it to try ... (read in full...)

I understand that parents are a bit wary of letting me go over to Ireland to see someone they'd barely met, but they're being unreasonable about it!!

Q.   Hey Aunts. It started like this, I met a guy online and we liked each other loads, so I gathered as much proof as I could that he was who he said he was, and arranged to meet up with him. We'd known each other for over a year and a half over msn ...

A.   16 September 2008: Why don't you ask your parents if he can come stay at your house? I understand their concerns. You are their baby girl going to stay with some guy they don't really know. They are only doing it out of love even though it sounds frustrating. See if ... (read in full...)

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